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Casey's Writings

Every piece transcribed from his notebooks, in the order his family gathered them. His words, exactly as he wrote them.

Casey's Journal — Transcriptions

Transcribed from photos Jennie sent on Friday, October 16, 2026, and read back to her in chat that day.
Wording is as transcribed; words in [brackets] were hard to make out and are the transcriber's best reading, not certain.
First source photos, as recorded when this file was created:
- `F3C2EC8F-73F0-45A7-AD9B-166C275E71CB-photo-53FD7550-CF5A-4D10-80E8-9ABFE7304E45.jpg` — "My True Purpose"
- `ED4103B5-F201-4BC2-983A-F1153617C5C8-photo-3AC9F9AB-AFFA-43FC-A3DF-03DD56F5C1BE.jpg` — "The Middle Son"
The remaining pieces in this file were transcribed from the further journal photos Jennie sent in the same chat session on October 16, 2026; their transcriptions are the chat texts of that day, copied here in order. See the status note at the end of the file for the pages still awaiting transcription.

---

My True Purpose

*JC Henley — Tuesday, the 11th, 2023*

I've told many my purpose of why I'm still alive, walking amongst the living. I'm here to help anyone anyway I can, as long as they put in the effort to truly help themselves, and to fight any acts of evil and injustices inflicted upon innocents. I live by that despite what people say about me.

People think many things. Some mundane, most are wild. Some see me as a joke, a troll who doesn't take anything serious, finding everything, especially myself, way more hilarious — but really not. Which personally I find funny, in a way ironic, because it's so wrong it is comical to think about. Some find me far too serious, thinking too deeply about things that don't require any further elaboration — which again I find comical, compared with the first group. Polar opposites of each other, and so far from the truth.

I do believe there's always reason we do or believe things, whether we know, and the world is a very grim place with very serious ramifications and ideals, while simultaneously it's a very goofy place, and plenty of hysterical people with just as many beliefs.

It doesn't have to be one or the other. The most serious topic can be hilarious, and we should be able to laugh at it and ourselves. We need to understand how serious things can be, but if we can find a way to laugh at it, then it has less of an impact and power over you. That's two of so many more.

Some think I'm a saint, true-hearted hero of sorts, who is some morally impeccable [etc.]. Some think I'm the embodiment of what's wrong within this world — that a self-centered, narcissistic maniac that the world should rid itself of, and me—

*[Page ends mid-sentence; the piece likely continues on the next page, not yet photographed.]*

---

The Middle Son

*(rap-style lyrics)*

Begin the countdown to make this [shit] first
A game out the dome, too great, it's too legit
Insane sometime, don't choose [hate], make regret
This brain outta control, about to shoot, take a bet
Deadly aim don't punch hole

I love my brothers, I love my mother, my father
If any of my family you planning to be another, I
May just have a thing or two say
Pay people not in this game, outta play
About to go [engage], spray my heat hot like a
Flame thrown at your face, scorch it, burn down the place

*[a crossed-out line here — he scratched it out and rewrote it below]*

Same as Zilla, willa kill ya, if it don't cool ya
Gonna need a healer and some concealer, spark up [and] hear ya

**The Second Son**

*["The Second Son" appears at the foot of the page as the heading of the next piece; its page has not been photographed yet.]*

---

My Fault

*(a heavier song — self-blame, trauma, walls, and not letting people in; a stylized "R" beside the title)*

Girl, ohh, it's my fault, my baaad
I guess it's all my fault
Once I start, it's hard to stop
Now look what I've done
Swear I'm cursed that can't be undone
Couldn't just leave things alone
Making fights where should be none
Listening to the [thoughts] my brain has spun
"You're thinking too much, so shut the fuck up"
Just telling my brain it should shut the fuck up

I'm so sorry, it's all my fault
Heart's full of love, but trust is in the vault
Locked up in all the defenses that I bought
Locked up in the fear my past has brought
Caught up in the lessons I was taught
Traumatized by the wars that I have fought
Cauterized wounds, my heart's twisted in knots
So I easily let anyone in? Nah, I think not
My walls make my heart a very secure spot
It's in a panic room within an overpacked [—]
In a constant manic mood, lashing at any who
Happen to be standing too close, catch a frantic [mace]
Either [happy or tragic], lashing out, smackin' dudes
While undergone [endless] struggles, continuous
[—] or life stabilization
My heart's been torn in parts, been [grabbed, loved] and talked
It's been kidnapped, shit's been snapped, [zapped]
Been shot under constant attack
Vast majority is devil in the mirror, put knives
In through the back, no [cross], hacks acts
Put [—] back up on the rack
Late night manic snack

*[Last stretch is rough in the original — cross-outs, rewriting, and a smudged patch near the bottom; bracketed spots are best readings.]*

---

More

One, two, three, four.
Someone keep knocking at my door,
Shake, shake, shaking me at my core
Keep wake, make waking up on the floor
Scream, scream, scream till my throat is sore
Can't escape from all this blood and gore
Scrape it off, yet there is always more
Wondering just how much is saved up in store
At my limits, how much can I possibly endure
No matter how much pain I go through, I find
There is always More.

One, two, three, four
The demons keep knocking at my door,
Done gave them everything but keep asking for more
One and two,
The Devil is calling, I don't know what to do,
Three and four,
Done gave him everything yet he keeps asking for more.
One, two,
I just wish to be loved by you.
Three, four,
Devil keeps asking for more.

I wish that I could lie there next to you
That's something [I] can no longer do,
Done gave it my everything, bleeding out on the floor
Gave my soul but the Devil keeps [—] more

*[Last line runs off the edge of the page; one word is lost.]*

---

Broken — J.C. Henley

*(under a two-line heading: "Always so damn tired / Why am I always so tired?")*

Girl, I'm hoping I'm not the one you put your hope in,
I'm beyond repair, with wounds wide open
Unhealthy ways of coping
Storm clouds gathering and pour down the rain as
I feel it begin to soak in
I'm beyond repair, just drowning in my pain
I guess I must be too broken.

From heartache my heart breaks — go ahead, keep a piece as a token
When life gets hard, look at that shard and know I wasn't jokin'
It's not fair, I'm beyond repair, I guess I'm just too broken
Look into my glare and you'll see it there, I'm lost in despair, so I keep smokin'
I no longer care
It's not fair, I'm beyond repair, I guess I'm just too broken.

*[A few draft lines were crossed out as he went, including an earlier version of the rain line.]*

---

A Man I Once Knew

*J.C. Henley — prose, written about himself in the third person*

There was once a man I knew. A man who was a troubled young man but showed a lot of promise. Promise of so much good, albeit for what purpose always seemed to allude him, but good none the less.

He had the potential and desire to truly help the world by making it a bit better to live in, even if briefly. However, this man had endured so much pain and regret in his short life it eventually corrupted him and altered his course.

Instead of becoming the agent of healing and of being one of the heroes he idolized, one of the heroes the world needed, his path led—

*[Stops mid-sentence at the bottom of the page; continues on the next page.]*

---

My BROthers

I have called many, nearly any man I see, a bro,
Even a fair share have declared to me as a brother,
I have two of who I share a bond the rest don't know.
These bros, who the only other two share the same mother

Let me tell you what it's like to be the younger brother
Of Sponge Bob

*[Whole page — it stops there, like he was just getting started. He crossed out a word and wrote "bros" in above it. Note, in Casey's words: he has two brothers who share the same mother.]*

---

High Tide Suicide

It's not a secret that I like to get high
Everyone knows about how bad I want to die
High Tide Suicide
Under water, under water, goin' down
The tide keeps rising, keeps rising, rising
The water [—] I
Somebody help me, I don't want to
Don't want to, don't want to live
High Tide Suicide
I'm goin' down tonight, way out in the tide
I'm goin' down, I'm going down
To wash up [—] right to the beach
High Tide Suicide
I died, I died in the High Tide Suicide

---

Borrowed Time

I don't mean to cross the line
But are you gonna cross the line, go across the line
Must I remind you, running out of time
You're almost out of time
Already on borrowed time
Save the sorrow, save all that crying
Doesn't even look like you are trying
You giving up, [made] it this far
Never thought we could make it this [far]
By one foot in front of the other, no car
Hurry up, push deep, time is running out
On borrowed, on that Borrowed Time
Borrow, Borrow Time, Borrow Time
So much sorrow, no more tomorrow
Left off that borrow, just let it all go, time to go hard, bro

*[Then the page switches to red ink:]*

Go, go, go, leave nothing left
Leave everything on the line, let your brilliance shine, one of a kind
[Pen remind men, women and children] the gifted kind of mind
In mine sometime you'll find DNA, and in me genuine, my fine pen does sting
Rewind back within rhyme, back to time, the very time I start flying
Early morning, late nights — 9-19-2018
What's that mean, that can't be, that night was the end of me
What's that light, wait, it's bright, it's coming from me
I'm shining so brightly, the sight of me is blinding to me
That night, the light so bright that I'd see was actually me
Traveling to the past for me to [preserve], how can this be, there I see
Me floating in the clouds, [feelings rapidly], looking
Right at me, blinded by the sight of me, hurry to fly to me
At extreme high speeds, maybe even light speed, catching up to me

*[The red half is small, fast, written over itself; bracketed spots are best guesses. The date 9-19-2018 reads clear.]*

---

Way of King Jon

I was on YouTube scrolling along like—

*[two lines crossed out with a big X: "Follow me if you are lost / Swallowed by grief, heart of frost"]*

[All?] tune in, spit this rhyme, poetry
Borrowed out of time, always
Borrowed time, borrow time, running out of [breath]
[—] I lose it here, quit wasting
Out of time, I'm out of time, running out of my time
He's coming, for he's angry, only I can see [him]
I got to, I got to, I got to get me some time
May borrow more time, I can't keep up
Too much for me to be do[ing]
Don't give me that, I worry

*[Below that a doodle, and two lines of lettering that look like writing practised backwards or upside down — not honestly readable as words.]*

---

Remember September

*[A working draft — lines written over lines, phrases tried in the margins. Everything honestly readable:]*

Do you remember September?
Do remember September at all?
Do you remember September — remember my [soul]
I remember September
I remember it all
Remember my tears
Recall giving everyone a call
[Called] and told them I love you all
But it's too late — ready to jump, to fall
This is the time
Remember — scream in your [ear]
Do you know the time
Who knows the time
Doesn't matter this time
Because it's now
All the time I have left is lost
Must pay for my actions honestly
This covers the cost
Remember, please remember, remember September
Remember September in September
The fall
Remember my brother didn't want to be a [—]
Remember the lost in September
Death not alive any more
Prayer return to sender
Sorry in the [—], Mother
Remember St. Louis
Remember September, no more pretender
Remembered tongue slashes, gashes
How far is it to hell
Regret, petty shit
Remember the demonic [—]
Remember after 3 a.m.
Remember the flowers
Remember, rejected when showed 'em
Remembered, dig them from the trash
Where to throw 'em
Remember what was supposed to be

---

Lil Blu

*(under the title he wrote "Ya Sad Boi Blu")*

Lil Blu, Lil Blu, Lil Blu, where are you?
Lil Blue, Lil Blu, I'm looking for you, Lil Blu
Lil Blue, Lil Blu, Lil Blu, little [blue]
One of, one of these days
Don't matter how long I take
I promise [I'll] see you, Lil Blu
As you go I will follow — hope you know

Why do I care at all
Why do I wait for a call
No matter how [much] — [you] was the first to call
Lil Blu, no matter how many [—]
Lil Blu, my [heart's] tied to you, [—] I'll pull through
Lil Blu, don't know what to call you
Lil Blu, whatever I am to you, don't have a clue
It's not love, know that is true
But when near you, such powerful [force] fills me
I want you, Blu

Lil Blu, you can't lie, you wanted me too
10 years later on Facebook I found you
One click later already pull through, was talking with you
But found out you had a dude waiting for you
Look on your face, you didn't want to
You wanted me to go home with you
I wanted to go home with you, Blu
We both were determined on what we want to [do]
Yet [every] time you were going to miss me
Dude used [words] to hold you
Says I'm a threat, and yet [—]
Now [she] is popping up and she [—]
I want, but [—]
One more thing [you'd] do to have you
Yo, Lil Blu, I need [—]

*[Last stretch trails into the bottom corner of the page and gets hard to read.]*

---

Welcome to the Eastside

Welcome to the Eastside, where the weak die
Welcome to the Eastside, home where Beast hide
Walking down Claremont Avenue
[Slacking] ground where mob stabbing at you
Take you to the local price, grabbing at you
Local goon for the right chopper will chop
Throw in a few rocks, watch as [—] locks
Slice, slice, chopper takes you in the hopper
Look, look at the [—] white boy
Hook, hook, [—] bitch, might destroy
Yeah, he taking his shit, cutting deals, burn [—]
Slaughtering [—] trying to take his meals

Sometimes I think about you
Envisualize just what you may be up to
Wish I could just [—] you in blue
Wish we both could go get clean
But I don't think we [can, bro]
You obviously will do whatever it takes
I can consume so much [—]
[—] just keeps me a [—]
Yeah, that's the biggest appeal, at least
Freezes the triggers, receptors [—]

*[Second Eastside page:]*

Stuck in the dark place that we all face
Lost in the darkness, drifting through space
[Since] every dime I come by is spent to get high
We don't need the shit — we do, I'm
I'm haunted by memories that lived in this skin before

I'm so sorry, Mom, for what I became
Just makes me a ticking time bomb
[—] stock of papers of his journals he pulls from
Sources [—] with the pain, all [mine]
Imported the drugs to cope, regretting
We are all walking contradictions

I'm trapped inside the darkness that we all must face
Stuck in the dark place we must all face
Lost in the darkness, drifting through space
Every chick I come by who wants to give [—] a try
I look in her eye as my hand flies
I deny to her [—]
Then I feel [yet more] lie
Wipe another tear from my eye
Then I tell myself the same old lie
Maybe I'll be ready when a next chance comes by
Knowing this is it, this is my life [until] I die
For the 10,000th time I ask: what's the point, why

*[First page is fast, slangy street verse; bracketed spots are best readings.]*

---

Toxic

*[He starts like a dictionary entry, in his own words:]*

1. Containing or being poisonous — death / serious
2. Exhibits infection
3. Extremely harsh, malicious, harmful
4. Relating to an asset that lost so much value can't be sold

*[Then it turns into a verse about a woman:]*

She is always down, a good time
A good time of only the good kind
Not afraid to throw back the [—] in time
Throw down some [—] follow, Addie
But she want the white, she [—]
[Date] complies but in [his] line, [—] fatty

*[The end breaks off and is genuinely hard to pull apart in the original.]*

---

Free Fall

I'm standing on the ledge, tear in my eye
I don't want to die, I just want to fly
Just want to feel the feel, the wind [—] dry
I close my eyes and silently cried
As darkness continues to swell inside, Jekyll to Hyde
Say hello to my [other side], he's from hell

*[Short — just those lines on the page.]*

---

This Place

I need to get out
I need to get out
But the door is locked
Every exit is blocked
Every window exit is blocked
The only option is a loaded gun cocked
I'm trapped in such a dark place
That'll break your heart from the start
It'll [tap in] until your tears flood your face
It's so lonely, nobody knows me, no [homie]
Went upstairs where no one be, nobody below me
Trapped in this mansion, nobody to [hold] me
A slightest care, there's no one to show me
When my tears get to flowing, nobody
Will be there, console me at least
I'm free enough, nobody to control me
I need out, need out, I need to find a way out this place
No matter how loud I try to shout, [they waste]

*[He crossed out two false starts at the top of the page.]*

---

Let Blu Go

Let her go, let Blu go, let her go
Blu, you can go
Fly away, you are free
You were never mine
Fly your wings, for you go
I'll think of you — will you think of me?
I'm sorry, I really am
I wasn't as attached
As much as you thought
Just needed a friend
Thought you were it — my mistake
I hope to see you again

*[Then two columns meant to weave together, as best they read:]*

Hope not to [—] or so [long]
[Can't be] then — I'm not here
If not then, then I fear
I'll see you there
Don't be scared, in [Dawn's] law

So till then, fly in [Heaven]
Hate this — goodbye, my friend
Baby Blu, go

*[And the last line on the page, standing alone:]*

I have to let Blu go.

---

The Way

Can someone [—] please help me
I'm [afraid], I have strayed
Now I have lost my way
I'm lost my way, been lost all day
I need help, I'm afraid — ignorantly I lost my way
Just lost, lost my way
Can you show me the way?
Show me the way
Please just show me the way
Nobody show me the way
I needed somebody to show me the way
Nobody left to show me the way
Nobody left to hold me today
Please don't leave me alone today
I don't want to be alone today
Why do I have to be [—]
I'm so lonely every single day
I really hate being so lonely everyday
How did I get so far away
From the way, and now way out of the way
No way anybody going after their way
Too far away to show you your way
They have to be on the way, at their way
To get going the right way — which way?
If there's a will there's a way
Need to find a way to get on my way
Since I don't know the way is any [—] way
Guess I have no [—] — I have tried every way
That's my only way, sooner or later I'll
Find my way to the right way

*[Bottom lines blur together — he was writing fast.]*

---

I Don't Even Know

*[Prose, written carefully — not a song.]*

I don't even know anymore. About anything.

I'm just so tired of this cruel existence called [life]. Like I'm aware of how great it can be. Its evidence is everywhere I see, however it's just not available for me. Anytime I catch a brief whiff of it in the air and catch the slightest shine of care, it vanishes, leaving me that much colder. [Longing] that energy to dry up makes me feel that much older. How much of my [—] heart and soul must be thrown away before [it] finally breaks and lets, hold letting me go? I don't know. I want to know. I have to know. But I just don't know. It's coming though. That much I do know.

*[Below it, in red, under a one-word heading — "Me":]*

Feeling like an animal lately
Feeling
When you get lost in the dark
Look inside your heart for the spark
Don't let it trick you with bark
Doesn't have any bite, no fight
Remember left, right, right
[—] the [—] of light, and it might
Keep blast any [—] by the [—] side
Blast them off, blast site, blast out this shit

---

Lost Opportunity

*[Written like a duet — two voices arguing back and forth.]*

My soul, [saw] my soul
My soul gone, my soul — my soul's gone
Can't find my soul, my girl gone
Where's my soul

Hate me, everyone, everyone hate me, baby hate me
Everyone, everyone hate everyone [in me]
Hate me, I hate you — that's ok, that's ok
Hate me, hate [them]
Everyone, everyone hate me, everyone

Dad gone, [dear] gone, I'm dead and gone
Where'd my [guys] go, I don't know
He's dead and gone, bro dead and gone

I love you, I love you, Goose
I love to the moon and back, I do
No you don't — yeah I do — no you don't
I love you to the moon — no you don't
I love, I do, to the moon too, I don't know
Bitch, I love you — then [you] don't believe that
I love you to the moon, I really do too
I don't know, let me show you how I do love you
Whatever, you love it, yes you do — ok, pretty good
I love you, love you too, you [better] too
I guess I don't — don't like you at this [—]
How's that rude love flow out of you, outta you

---

This House

*[He crossed out his first line — "I'm trapped inside, I can't get out" — and started again:]*

This house is a bad joke, not the home I used to know
This house ain't my home
It's a black hole
It will swallow you whole
Nearly impossible to break its hold
Why is it so cold?
Why can't I go? It won't
Why does it kill every last bit of my hope
No wonder I smoke so much fucking dope
Getting out is harder than going up a steep slope
All it has been covered with ice and snow

---

Pray

Dear Lord, our Heavenly Father,
To you this day I pray, in a bit unorthodox way,
In form of my rhymes, in the lines I lay,
Written out to you so I can say,
Thank you for this beautiful life I live today,
I wouldn't change a thing, I wouldn't want
It any other way.
Thank you for the good, thank you for the bad,
It's both that makes this life beautiful that I've had.
It's been a beautiful journey for me,
I [wish] that I feel my faith returning, the [light] to see,
I only ask you today for the strength to help those around me,
For that's the mission laid out before me,
To help others to heal, in the name of your glory.
I know I'm not perfect, never been a saint,
I have sinned, sins that I can feel are pains,
But I know better than give up faith,
Because I love you, and Jesus — I'll be forgiven,
Which I'm grateful for, [—] you have gave.
I trust the path for me you have paved,
On my grand mission to lost souls that need to be saved,
I'll continue on until the grave,
On to the next life, to the next wave.
You know I'll be yours, so too man,
Even if you're asking for another sacrificial lamb,
At a moment's notice give me the sign, stick to the plan.
I just hope you can help my mother and brothers understand,
That's all I ask for — strength to use my hands
To execute your great plan, and
Time to get my loved ones to understand.
Thank you, Big Man — to you I do pray.
Amen.

---

My Alternate Reality

*The word "Regrets" is written at the top and crossed out; the title he kept is "My Alternate Reality."*

If my alternate reality could become actuality
And were to have full power over it in its totality
I'd have the power to manipulate all the atoms surrounding
Me, allowing me to warp all of reality
I would be caring god for all who bow to me
I would heal the hurt and sick, cure the blind and allow us to see
That I had the ultimate power, show the rest of humanity
How to properly behave, as a good planet that belongs to me
I'd be a protective god, saving the innocent from tragedies
I'd be a fair god, allowing every shoe free — only one to bend the knee
Is to me, the one true Supreme King of Kings
A just god, swiftly and strictly punish any [man who mocks] my flaws or that hurt me
A mighty god, without hesitation, decimation to any person and/or nation with impunity
Destructive god, on the spot obliterating any of my [—] for innocent casualties
Terrible god — I'd probably go mad with power and destroy [everything], and will be
So I guess we don't live in My Alternate Reality

Fix the [Cannon] Justice League and hire a Batman Beyond [—]
Torture any who hurts puppies and kitties
Convince more women to show me dem titties
Gather every pedophile and [—] set genitals [to] slowly [—]
Slowly and barely healing, prolonging their trial quite a while
Punch [Sat] in the teeth if their name is Keith
Punish beyond belief with no relief if a woman dares to queef
Especially if it smells like sweaty beef!
So as you can clearly see, we are lucky as [—]
The world doesn't live in society in its entirety in My Alternate Reality

---

Prayer for the Sinner

*In pencil; the blurriest photo so far — lines marked [—] were not honestly readable.*

Dear Lord,
Our heavenly father, I come to you for another
One who needs you, to the mysterious [—] you do
I know it's been a while — you know it's all love
Checking in, all the [—] along my style besides
I been gettin' busy doing wild [—] in a while
To talk about my trial, because [he] has 4 kids, trying to feed each
Child, and to put [—], prices keep climbing with such costly [—]
So Lord, I'm coming to you today not for myself
This here is a Prayer for the Sinner, a letter for the sinner
Yes Lord, I submit this here as a prayer for the [soul] and home of my sinner
You know [—] something needs a little push in the [right direction]
[—] so his [—] might [—]

*[A steadier, closer photo would be needed to recover the bracketed lines — pencil fades more than his ink.]*

---

Mean

*In pencil. The page runs wider than the photo, so beginnings and ends of some lines are cut off at the edges. Jennie sent this page twice on Oct 16; the second, clearer angle confirmed the notes below.*

What does it all mean?
What could it all mean?

[On]ly guessin' — O.G. homie stressin', he be pressin' me with [—] on, leaves the impression for me
Homie be testin' me quick, suggestin' he don't do as he [does], because lesson be aggression [—]
[—] blessings, whole street rounds, crew [—] — not impressing me
So S.M.D., fucking F.A.G., Fake Ass Gangsta
Who are you to [—]

With a heart full of pain, crave the taste of brain, insane in the membrane
Cypress it in Cypress [Hill] rhymes — [—] still violent, still silent
Listen to me: blood drippin', as I'm blood slippin', flesh rippin', bone strippin'
Make your [—] flippin', [—] trippin', mind slippin'

Why do people say mean things to me?
I do those [—]

*[Second photo confirmed: "as I'm" is written in above the line in "blood drippin', as I'm blood slippin'"; "Cypress it in Cypress Hill rhymes" reads through; and he crossed out a word in the last question, so it stands as "Why do people say mean things — me? / I do those" — unfinished. The left and right edges still run off the frame in both shots.]*

---

Think Out Loud

I think out loud, tend to think out loud
I try to keep thoughts in bounds — [they fly] when not allowed
Try to keep my head held up but feel drug down
In my sleep I get fed up, take off, walk amongst the clouds
Me and you

I'm going to play this game till it's game over
Like Red Rover, Red Rover, go ahead, send death over
I'ma keep it rolling, like [a] stone move the boulder

---

Load It Up

*Signed "Yung Case." The full version.*

If you're so over being sober
Just load it up, load it up, just load it up
When your [woman's] having trouble getting over her
Just load it up, load it, load it up, just load it up
When your family cryin', they no longer know ya
Fuck 'em all, just load it up, load it, load it up, just load it up
The more you grow older, do you feel colder
Just load it up, load it, load it up, just load it up

If you were born [—] in the night to keep her shoulder
Wake up and [—] over, dead hours as you hold her
With her eyes open, mouth [—] won't [—] choked her
To keep her safe is what you told her
Now the heart [—] is over
[Pour] the rest of the bottle in your soda
Waiting for the overdose to take you over
[—] signs over, sold [—] back to [—]
As you die, you still hold her
Load it up, load it, load it up, just load it up

Crush up bars, then snort 'em
Cocaine in your soda, mix it [with] Dirty Sprite
[—] do you right
As the pills [pull]
The pills try to pull you down
But you've never been as [—]
Dope to pick you up, [—] try, [—] get [—]
Smoke that loud, cross on a [—]
Blow lines, now twins blow out spines
Any duress you got, press it out, let out all [—]
Every [—] out, [—] out, so much stress [—]
Fuels it, get them all out, piss them out
Load it up, load it, load it up, just load it up
Now we all loaded up, [—] up
Just load it up

---

Load It Up (fragment)

*A different start on the same song. Beside this title he wrote "what the Free" in red and crossed the whole thing out.*

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeaaah
Load that, load, yeah yeah
Load it up, yeah, load it up, yeah — we load it up, yeah, we
I said load that shit up, yeah [—]
As soon as I wake up
As soon as I open my eyes, time to wake up
Grab the bowl, load it up, proceed to bake up
That's my next [—], mentally ill, like no makeup
The only way I can [—] from [—]
Every day I need the [—] up, 'cause [I'm] fuck[ed] up

---

Summer

Oh damn, ya girl is a stunner
I'm thinking that I want her
Yup, matter of fact I'm gonna
Go ahead and take her from ya
Don't give a fuck if you love her
[Sound] sucks for you, what a bummer
I'm taking your slut — I'm King of Summer
Get your [—] hood, let's go [—]
You're not my brother, [boy] you're a fuckin' [—], bruh
It really is no fuckin' wonder
Your bitch was ready to roll with the first to pull up
That's why she's going home with the King of Summer
I'm going to smack that ass like a drummer
If you got a problem, I can drop my hammer
Blast you in the chest with some thunder
Send you to your momma all sewed up
Service taken place, just might show up
Gave the kids [—], that [—] was
Fuck around, shoot the whole [stand] tore up
Then watch the children all throwin' up
From the cyanide in the fruit roll-ups
Set fire to the funeral home, watch [them] go up

---

I'm StarBoy

*The top half is written in two columns that answer each other. Jennie sent this page twice on Oct 16.*

I come from a place far away — you wouldn't believe if I say
From outside of the Milky Way — top [—] from a different day
That still hasn't passed by today — it's about a century away
So I come from past the stars — that's pretty damn far, boy
My name Bizarro the StarBoy — a creature lost today from tomorrow
My name is Bizarro StarBoy — all alone, full of sorrow
I'm Bizarro StarBoy — the scarred boy, sad boy but hard though
Bizarro the StarBoy — Bizarro StarBoy, from FarBoy of Tomorrow
Relatively unknown, technically a clone, best left alone
Things I have been shown — leave your mind blown, chill down to your last bone

Why do I do that? Why do I always go do that?
Why do you do that? What's the point of doing that?
What do I wish that? Why wish to die [—]
Why do I wish that? Wish for my time to go flat
Why do you do me the way you do me like that
Why do you do me the way you do me, the way you keep doing
Do you know how you do me, the way you do me — be my undoing
The way you do me keeps on showing, keeps ungluing, it keeps pursuing
Keeps me fuming, has me viewing my own dooming
What am I doing to cause you choosing to keep doing — it's [—] bruising
My heart is black and blue from you, as you keep doing what you do to me
Why do you do me how you do me — don't lie to me, you see right through me
When you view me, see right through me — how do you [—] me, why you choosing
To abuse me? Why did you choose me? About to lose me — why do you use me?
If fate really is up to my choosing, then I am choosing to be refusing you
My life is not for your using, so living I'm refusing — to my grave I am [—]

*[That last line runs off the edge of the page.]*

---

How You See It

How you see it, how I see it
They be completely different
Throughout different lenses
How I see things are to see [them]
You see them different from me
That is fine with me
How it should be
But don't you dare judge me
You're no better than me
No — better, just different

Don't you dare to try and judge
You are no better than her, I see
Really you're the same as me
Just different
How you see it, how's

*[The last section of that page gets hard — his writing crowds and fades — but its bones read:]*

You going down the road in [—], as familiar
I go down the road [—] to white-out places
We live these different lives based upon our choices
We are two different people in the [—] view
We all have different cards and plays to do with
[—] heavy make me break your [—]
Watch the [—] that [—] your [—] comes [—]

---

Take Two

Hey there girl, I wrote something [—]
Never thought you'd be able [—] for you
Can I get a take two?
Girl, give me a chance to prove
I've grown to be a different dude
Though I admittedly can still be a bit rude
Probably been far too long since
I've [had] any proper food
I never have stopped making [—] for you
But I never stop thinking of your [—]
Whenever you [—] hear certain songs, I see your [—]
Walking home from work, you [—] up in my [—]

I've been getting new girls
Not getting better, gets worse
It's like you got me under some sort of curse
I'm craving you — please just relieve my thirst
I know I fucked up, to tell you I'd [—]
I just want one night to see [—] once
I'm asking for a first date, take 2
Prove I can [—] be the man you needed
I already know you are the best for me
You and me — [we] were meant to be
I know, baby, this sounds [—] to be
But Clara, can you give me a date with destiny

---

Whatever

*Signed Yung Case*

Ooh k k, whatever, yuh yuh, whatever, k k
Ooh k k, whatever, ya yuh, whatever, aye aye
What you trying to do to [—] k, whatever, aye aye
I'm down for whatever, whatever, aye aye
Ooh k, bitch, I'm ready [—]
[—] throw down k, whatever, yuh
Smash yo ho down — you already know it's whatever, let's go
Shoot up the whole town k, whatever, whatever
Take your [—], shoot [—] my crown k, whatever goes
Ooh k k, whatever [—] yeah
K k, whatever, yuh yuh
K k, whatever, yuh yuh
Ooh k k, whatever, you [—]

I don't just talk shit, I [live] the shit
If I say I'm about to [—] you in your shit
I meant that shit

---

Lady of my Dreams

Lady of my Dreams
She bleeds me dry
I awake to my own screams
She watches me [—], leave me eyes
I'm always so cold, feel so empty
Every day I feel like I'm not me
When I sleep at night, [—] me dies
Lady of my Dreams, love of my life
I'm in hell, it seems — memories [are] the sharpest knife
Baby girl, please forgive me — promised the world [—], never [—] for life

Baby Girl, please forgive me
Promised you the world, never made you my wife
You [—] me [—], I hung me up to dry
You [—] tell me [—] inside
You took it all, left none alive — I hung me out to dry
You can be so cold, be so mean — I was gutted and cleaned
That night you [—] gave her a [—], I [—] was [—] suicide
Lady of my Dreams
Are you in my dreams, or am I just your memory?
Are you haunting my mind? Is this my soul [—] roam, eternal [—]?
I see that it seems we are [—], this dreams within [—] dreams
Nothing really is not what it seems
Lady of my Dreams

---

Downstairs

*Down the left margin of this one he lettered the warning out dot by dot, too — "don't go down there," running down the whole page.*

Don't go down there
Don't go down there
You don't wanna go downstairs
Don't wanna know what's down there
Tellin' you, ain't prepared for downstairs
My pain is down there
My room is down there
My room is the whole downstairs
Death is down there
I sleep with Death downstairs
Don't want, don't wanna, don't wanna
Don't do it, don't do it, don't [go]
My room is down there
My room is the whole downstairs
Death is down there
I sleep with Death downstairs
Where I wept, where I slept
Where I wept til death
You can smell death on my breath
In my room where Death slept
In my room, hanging in the [—]
Hanging dead is where I'm [—]
There's a blood red door I [—] kept
Down there, down there
[—] you don't want to go downstairs
Stay out! Turn round — best enter downstairs once you're [—]
Better stay out, best turn round, enter downstairs
Only if you dare — there's [a] red door [—]
Walk up to red door now, pass through, wow
Welcome to the [—] Next World Down
Look around! All the clowns! Why all the frowns?
All you hear are animal sounds — [—] hearts eat you alive [—]

---

Downstairs (ALT)

*His second version of the same piece, written as a warning to people he loves.*

No need to go down there, just stay
Up here please, [—] my love, my [—]
Please just don't go down those stairs
No, don't go down — not gonna [—] what's down there
You are not prepared to go down there
Can you all please just stay upstairs
Please come sit in these chairs
Step away from those fucking stairs
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to swear
But I could see it in her stare
I'm well aware — no chance she's not going
Seriously, guys, it's a mess down there
All my shit thrown about everywhere
Don't go down there, don't go down there
Please just don't go down those stairs
Babe, come back up here — Jess, get the fuck back
Jess, get back here, off those stairs
Damn [—], I'm about [to cry]
I can't [—], you're in here — I'm the [—]
Cold, soulless eyes unblinking in the [—]
Down there, no such thing as fair
Down here is another world where nobody care
[—] cobwebs, a mess, [—] nest, littered floor unanswered
Devil's down here — down here, come down here where [—] can hear
Down here it appears everything disappears, never to reappear
Steer clear of here, you hear? Even [—] won't come near
The end is here for you, my dear — won't see you for [—] years
[—] stench of rotted flesh [—] the air
The ground never be found — skulls scattered about with clumps of hair
Told you, told you, told you not to go down there
Why do they all gotta go downstairs
Why the fuck would you go downstairs

---

Status of this file — updated Friday, October 16, 2026 (evening, America/Chicago)

This file now contains every journal piece transcribed in chat on October 16, 2026, in the order Jennie sent the pages, through "Pray," plus the pieces transcribed later that same day: "My Alternate Reality," "Prayer for the Sinner," "Mean," "Think Out Loud," both "Load It Up" pages, "Summer," "I'm StarBoy," "How You See It," and the final five transcribed in chat at 23:21 UTC on October 16: "Take Two," "Whatever," "Lady of my Dreams," and both "Downstairs" versions.

With those final five appended, every journal/notebook page Jennie photographed on October 16, 2026 has been transcribed and saved here. Two pages arrived twice — "Mean" and "I'm StarBoy" — and were caught as duplicates, so nothing was double-counted.

---

Second batch — sent the night of Friday, October 16, 2026 (from 7:37 PM CDT)

Jennie sent a second, larger batch of pages after the first set was complete ("I have a ton more"). Transcribed in chat the same night, in the order sent. Bracketed [—] marks words that could not be read honestly from the handwriting.

(untitled — "fallen friends")

I'm tired of the non-stop flowin'
I'm so fed up with the amount of times I must attend
Yet another funeral services for every fallen friend
There's so many that together they're beginning to blend
Low key, can you show me when one was — I done forgot as when
Throw me the side eye like I'm the sort, the worst when
Show me how to keep track which friend [gone] I'm at then
Knowing the one who killed them all was me, when I click my [pen]
Wanna know what I find funny? That you doubt honest[y]
Not the type believing my own hype — no, my ego doesn't need to [—]
I'm not sayin' that I can't be beat, or unable to kill
It has everything to [—] — I know what lengths you went, so [—] you know I'm [—]
Each fallen friend I speak of are pages of my notebook — they're within

LtR

She said she's nothing like the rest
She's nothing LtR
Not according to her score on the test
It says she's LtR
I want to believe her — I hope 4 the best
Wanna believe she's [not] LtR
With every beat, [all of] my heart beatin' in my chest
Please don't tell me you are
Please don't be like the rest
Tell me you're not LtR

In My Brain

You don't understand what it's like in my brain
You don't know my life — no, you don't know my pain
You don't know what it's like to always to self-restrain
To hold back these demons on a chain
Kept in line with lines laid to entertain
Not knowing that's really life living in my brain
Some call it crazy — I call that lazy — I am insane

You don't want this problem
It's quite violent how I solve [—]
Your panicking, I [—]

Fragments at the bottom of the page:

Playing more games, more [ruins]
[—] new games

Playing more games
Slaying war games
Scraping more [—]
Waging war on things
Ramping [—] boost [—] this morning

Bottom corner, set apart:

Here's a Black Rose
From a Black Heart
Son of [—], let them fly to [—]

Man of Sorrow

[—] many things delivered in awful times
Complete sins in such awful crimes
Take that ass back to class, or [—] traumatized from [—] doing time, [—]
I just find all that drama ties to a
Product of [—] false [—], hopin' sinner
[—] claim you [—] away with a [—] swine, oh either one
Like bitter wine, [—] the bigger swine — my trigger [—] still [—] the same

Think they will be heard by their many words
Oh, so it's gonna be like that — O.[K.]
Literally from my day 1, thought you were a humble [—]
Even though we here, [—] never did say none — the turn around show me you just phony [—]
I'm aware of that wicked pen [—]
I have never been, but from what I'm told
Sick 'em — [—] sicker, sicker, quicker with the [—] so
[—] I probably [—], but if I was you [—] wouldn't
Probably end up somewhere [—] you wanted to

iPhone

Ring Ring Ring — never goes my phone
Ring Ring Ring — nobody knows how to answer the phone
Ring Ring Ring — I'm not coming to my phone
Every day never got my way — not today, yesterday, or next day, any day
No one here to say everything is ok — they all went away, don't stay
I'm getting too old to be told, but I'm cold when I call, they only [—]
So I get to hold when I'm put on hold — body is now getting cold
Soul been sold but not for gold — I'm far too old, I'm too old
I'm in the twilight zone — heart is frozen, swear I'm frozen, it's incredible
How bright my mind shone in my rhymes that I've shown, now known
One so alone, always on my own — in hell I've been thrown, [—] to [—]

How can that be right? Tell me that not how it be, right?
Now that cannot be right — why does this happen to me, why?
Do you like to see me cry? Be honest with me

(untitled — "If I work on it")

If I work on it I can show you I'm worth it — let me show [—] worth to
[—] you deserve it, [—] once [—], just let me earn, show what I learn if
I talk out of turn, another opportunity I [—] — keep your [—] and [—] return to me
As I was before, pick up [—] one waiting for you with the glove

Told me by the old me: don't let them hold me, don't let them fold me
Never sold me, they never know me — homie, you [—] can go hear me, you don't [—] me
I'm from the MO, home of the Show Me — who [—] know be able to go beat
[—] I throw heat when I flow, beat on [—] worlds about to go blow up in the [—]

I don't know what's wrong with 'em
You don't want none — [—] it won't be fun, the [—] I'll make you dance, don't make a [—]
I'm trying to [—] brush, [—] box brush, get [—] up

I can't even tell what's real 'cause I'm really real — [—] really, really I'm [—]
Everything is just so surreal, it all seems so real — is any of it real? None of this real
Were we even real? It all seems so [—] — is any of it real? None of this is real
The only thing that I know to be real is the only thing I feel, being Death's [—]

When it done, make it go flip
When I got gun, make it go click
You see, don't you take it on the [lip]
Nothing wrong, you [—] out too much [—] on your chip
You think you can [—] me, test me, if you think you can best me
Oh really — oh really, really — you talking silly, can you [—]?
Here is a bar for your ear to hear, try to catch it — [—] that's a [—] for [—]

(untitled — "wrong day" / voices)

Oh hi, oh hey, got something to say
There's a right way, there's a wrong way
Today is not the right day — [—] it's the wrong day
To play I may get some type of lucky
Today might be the day I go [—] to just [—] stay
Oh wait — hey hey, hush — what did it say?
The voices from deep within, ok — when they speakin', obey
Got 2 choices when they go say: either listen or go away
When the voices start speakin', feel your will power begin peakin' as you weaken
Don't start freakin' out — [—] out, they put your breathing [—], no more allowed
There's no way out — the fact I made it this far, that I should feel proud
Listen close, listen up, whenever the voices start to get loud
Oh hey, oh hey, ok ok — you don't say no way, Jose, don't play, ok
There's a right way and a wrong way
Right day and wrong day — it's not the right day, no, it's the wrong day
To go do things the wrong way — it's the wrong day to [—] do things the right [—]
You don't want inside my head — get fed to the undead as my light glows red

(untitled — "Tell me that I'm ok")

Tell me that I'm ok
Need to hear you say
That it all will be ok
Tell me that someday
Someway I will be ok
I doubt it, but thank you anyway
I'm not ok, won't be ok
What is ok anyway
Why does everything fall apart
Whenever it comes to my heart
Before it even gets to start
What more can be put in art
When will my life get to the fun part
Just to take a look at my chart
You'll see almost all of it shows dark
So many days [—] demons circle like shark
See, I'm floating on a raft, not an ark
I'm lost and in need of a hopeful spark
My wild thoughts needs to come to stop and park
I need an angel, heaven-sent, got me out my natural element before hell I'm sent
Need an Angel, Heaven-sent, to get me out my natural element — [but] to Hell I am sent
This depression is leavin' the impression it's pressing the life out of my [—]

(Last line runs off the edge of the page.)

Villain

Tried to be the one to promote the Black [—] in [—], the [—] dealin' [—] stealth

As I sit upon this mountain top — not long will I stop
I can smooth bust a move to the groove if I [—] you [—] people
Get ass wiped up off the map — click [—], every peep T.P. Charmin
I'm the Big Show, big shit, let's go — I'm so colossal, call me [—]
It's a [—] in the way I get to [—], grind his out, rhyme [—]
[a crossed-out line: "this game that I play"]
Up on this mountain top — not about to stop even though [—]
I'll never stop — I do it for no off bread, give me slop, I do it for me
Because I know I can take it to the to very top

Told I don't know how to flow — no hope, go get off the dope, wanna know if I got dope
Or if I need help trying — but I kept rhyming, I kept climbing, [—] whining
Just who's supplying? Quit that lying — [—] you all go out hiding
Shots firing — thought you known for sliding

(untitled — "Teddy and me")

Get up in my face — I bet strike of the open palm make you calm
Level my place — Skynet learns to drop the bomb

Every memory between you and me be long gone
I try stay strong, try to keep moving, one [move] along
But every damn sad love song that comes on — you who my mind sets
Turned on, guarantee there will be tears shed by me — if [—] were here
They'd see — but I only have Teddy and me, and haunted by those memories

Talk to me out of pocket, flap that jaw — I'll socket
Lift you off the ground, blast off like that Team Rocket
Flow fluid like I bending water, whipping up a slaughter
Take your bish, yeah I got her — she say my rhymes hotter
Some good [—] that bought her, I'm the man, yeah I taught her
I knew she's someone's daughter but not mine, but I got her
She don't even know that when I spot her, turn [—] like Harry Potter

This is my last regard — Grade A, top percent, check the report

Waves (page also holds two further pieces)

The way these emotions
Wash over me like heavy ocean
Wave after wave, wave after wave
Breaking upon me, no way to save
Me — no, these waves pulling me to a watery grave
Wave after wave wash over me, they keep washing me

Then two lines about someone else, set apart:

Nobody to care for her, nobody there to care for her — so cold [—]
She was expelled from grad school for sui[—]

Then a longer piece underneath:

I don't want to go back
I don't miss you, I miss you — why do I miss you, where is mine, motherfucking issue
I don't miss you — where the fuck is you, what's your issue, need a tissue, don't miss you
I just want to kiss you — forget it, forget it, motherfucker forget it, what is it
I don't miss you, I miss [—] and get you — where is you, where is your issue
My heart always misused, so much abuse — I got issues, you have some issues
I think it's safe to say we fucking have some issues — this is true
If I'm going to have them, rather have them with you — with that [—] have an issue

(untitled — "the old you")

Where are you — [—] you talking to the old you, I told you, the old you
Where did you go off to — I miss you though, you I wish I could hold you
How are you, where are you — what did I do to be ignored by you, where are you
The old you is in the rear view, disappear view — I no longer have you [—]
What did you do with the old you — give me a clue or two, who knew

Not Meant to

I know you don't get me, never will get me, won't ever see what I be — works [due] by me
No, you won't ever know, and I want you to know you're not meant to know — just now [—]
No matter what evidence anyone shows, you'll call it a [—], manic jokes
I'm just not like anyone you know, or anyone you may ever know
It seems but me as one I knew — for everyone I'll be just some odd show
Whenever I put this pen to [—] a new verse
Then it's the will

Best

Each day I'm better than my best
Mentally can't be matched
Striker of the pack [—] won't catch

(fragment — page numbered 87)

I think someone is comin' — think I hear someone drummin'
Sounds of someone chanting, sounds of others are hummin'
Sounds like my heart's in my skin thumpin' — right out my skin I jumpin'
Someone — no, something is comin'. My God, what have they summoned

Why (two columns)

Left column:

Why, why, whyyy
Do I cryyy
All the tiiime
Don't know whyyy
I just cryyy
I'm not fiiine
Never miind
I'll be fiiine
That's a liiie
Not alright
My blur's slight
As I cryyy
[—] whyyy
Oo, I cryyy
You know whyyy
Don't you [—]
Not this tiiime
Not this rhyyme
Doubt I cliiimb
Not this tiiime
I'm not fiiine
Won't be fiiine

Read between the liiines
Read my liiines
Try to fiiind
What's insiiide
Might be surprised
How I disguised
Sooo much in my rhyymes
You may fiind
Piece of my miiind

Right column:

Doesn't have to be Friday 1–3
For me to stare my day [—] free

I wonder, wonder, wonder, wonder
I wonder, wonder, wonder, wonder
[—] what if I [—] get straight
When the time comes for me to go
Who will remember me
Will you remember me
Will you remember me — remember me
Remember me, will you
Don't you forget me now
Don't go and forget me now — please don't
Forget me, don't forget me, will you
Remember me, remember me, can you
Remember please, remember me — do you still
Remember me, remember me — I don't think you will
Nobody does remember me, nobody don't
Nobody will remember me, no they won't
No matter what I do, no matter how I be
No matter what I say, they don't remember me

Fatal Attraction

I'm lost in my emotions
The cost of wounds still open
Lost enough blood to dye all of the ocean
It'll stop my heart — at least I'm hopin'
I don't feel anything, going through the motion
Of making a mask and brush while jokin'
So silky smooth about it, think I got lotion
Smile on the outside while inside everything's broken
This isn't living — I'm getting the notion
Death is reaching for me, I feel its icy fingers gropin'
Breath is freezing, fogging up lungs when always scorchin'
Sizzling within me impure
Breath is freezing, flowing, as Lady Death kisses me, mouth open
Lost in such a dark place — lost as these demons that give chase
I feel them possess me, they're wearing my face, my blood they taste
The sky here has not one star — I don't hate my brothers, I don't know where they are
The demons keep cutting me, leaving scar after scar — I can only run so far
They tell me they care as they have me by the throat, not allowing in any air
Let me tell you, life is unfair, breaking me down beyond repair — fight back if you dare
Get me to would be rare — not because of me being scared, or hopes of being spared
To be completely fair, just look into my dead stare, look deeply into there
You tell me if you can see it anywhere in there — just a small hint that I still care
The demons are back, ready for action, headed here in just a moment's fraction
Gaining steam with their demonic faction, gain us traction
Don't mind my own reaction as I greet them, arms open — guess I have a Fatal Attraction

(untitled — "Take my hand")

Take my hand, lay me in the land — the way of the Dormant, [—] less [—]
Have you ever wondered just what all this means — why we live through screens
Does it feel like you have missed a couple of scenes, which only truth learns
Every time I try and [—] to like, so self [—], system cleans and us as fiends
What does it all mean? [—] afraid of trying to live clean — what does it all mean
Why does it feel like somewhere I missed an important scene?
Is this actually reality, or is it just a dream? What difference is in between?
You don't know, and you probably don't want to know what these eyes of mine has seen
'Cause once seen, there's no way it can ever be unseen — forever unclean, how [—] it mean?
Take my hand, lay me in the land, the way of the Dormant — these less I make my final stand
Lost are wandering across the sand, fate steering is unmanned, late notices ahead planned
[—] constrict breathing, strictly restrict, lungs cannot expand
Pain inflict by the [hands] of hunger — rise up, 13th District, done asking, I demand that [—]
What is left, what [—] remains? No remains — blow your brains, make it [—] breaks
[—] given all that remains — bloodstains
Take my hand, la[y]—

(Trails off mid-word.)

Don't Play

Don't play, don't play — I don't play
I say don't play, no way, don't play
Ok ok, let's go — ayye, don't say ayye
Beat it up, she gonna press charges
Heart [—] she in a dress, [—] charges
Eat it up, treated the best of the harvest
Talk shit — homie must not be the smartest
Talkin' shit, I show he just one of the hardest
Keep talkin' — it not just barkin' at an artist
Get to walkin' or I get to sparkin' at a target
With these bars spit, mark it like a shark bite — then your heart got sold on the black market
Messin' with the top learner, top earner — I'm the top opp burner, you peewee for [—]
Bending every word, curving each letter — ya girl never been wetter, get in the [—]
You know about me, my adjective shredder — woo, you know who be better, oh whatever, bitch [—]
I won't ever let up when I get fed up — if I set setup, bet I remember, but I resemble like [—]
Sleep on me, bet ya I'll be in that dream with a red [—] can, sweatin', lookin' like Fred, bitch
Snap you into 2 like Jason, just folded ya, bed up
Grab you by the heel and throw you out — [—] rolled my bread up
Better get your cred up, bet I have you shred up
Bet you never get mentioned again, fuckin' [—] — 'cause we don't bring the dead up
You know I got a chip from my automatic [—], go at it, [—] look like a dollar
Locate where it lay, on my shoulder, drop to [—] lay, empty, reload it, let shit spray
Drinking a bit of [—], drip on the clip, get [—] like a little bit of a dish of juice, it's a [—]
Play it like a fiddle
Let me show a quick trick — sit, this trick it — then I stick [—], other words I slip [—]

(untitled — "Damn Girl")

Damn girl, lookin' fine — yeah, I said it
You know I gotta give you due credit
You lookin' like you are in an edit
Do you, boo — I promise I won't make you regret it
No reason to feel ashamed, so girl, don't let it
Damn girl, girl look fine — yeah, I said it
Said damn, boo, I look at you lookin' like you in an edit
Damn girl, you got me over here sweating
Lookin' at you makes me want to get in ya settings
Why can't you be closer — come closer, need a little more exposure
Said come closer, I'll help you get some closure
Damn, you got me out here so intense, really poppin' in those pics, tuned to the brilliance
Really got me actin' silly — it's giving my willy fits with them lively [—]
Get you in my sight when I write — damn girl, add that to the highlights
Got me worked up but not mad — [—] in my pants got mad growth, let's play in the shadows
Hop in my lap, mama, we're goin' fast — how long will [—] last
Hop on, make it clap, so wild, have a blast — ride is the past, night and day I'll show the contrast
Got me feeling some type of way, I can't fight this
I like this feeling — the tightness light up my darkness, up the brightness
Looking nice, you making your [—] act all [—] in that little [—], all black [—]
Baby, making me blush — color in, making me saturate

Lights Off

Lights off, lights off
Teach you some humility
Lights off, lights off
By turning off your activity
Struggle on in futility, best of your ability

(fragment — "Black out")

Black out, black out coming — black out slowly backs out

[a few lines scribbled out hard enough to be unreadable]

Once in a lifetime

I don't want to, I don't want to — but I have to
I don't — I really want to, I don't want to — but I have to
I don't want to, but I have to — I have to, [—] I have to

---

Status of this file — updated Friday, October 16, 2026 (late evening, America/Chicago)

The second batch above — 20 pages/pieces sent from 7:37 PM CDT on October 16, from the untitled "fallen friends" piece through the "Black out" fragment — has now been appended, so the collected transcript contains every journal page Jennie photographed on October 16, 2026, both batches, in the order sent.

---

Dear Lil Roy (letter — photographed Oct 19, 2026)

Dear Lil Roy, *[crossed out: "Should — me leave this"]*

Do you know why I write? Why I write so much but speak so little?
It's difficult for my mouth to work the way it's supposed to. There's always been some sort of disconnect, or signals misfire — why I am so [irrelevant?]. When you speak over me, forcing me to start over again, because it's very literally difficult for my mouth to do its main job: to speak as I think.
You were probably too young to notice before, but I know you remember whenever I'd get so angry at people willing to throw hands for [— when] a retard asked if I was retarded. I know you know, because [you] remember fucking you up for it. Did you ever stop & wonder why? Or why that would bother someone you knew was very smart?
Because before you got big enough to speak, the fact I'm not retarded was concrete — not many were to [—].
Because they really thought I was, simply because they could not understand what I said. It takes me more effort to explain what I think. That's why I get so frustrated with people who don't listen to what I try to tell them and have [me] repeating myself. So I write.
Through written form, rhymes like this, I'm able to articulate myself [in ways] that I literally never [could] with my mouth. I don't know why, or what's going on with [it] — my brain and mouth are not on the same wavelength. You don't know how much frustration and embarrassment —

*(letter ends mid-sentence)*

---

(untitled verse — photographed Oct 19, 2026)

I'm a shady [boy] who grew [—] maybe you turn up
Watching as I steady blew up, like it [—] and [—] while I grew up
Maybe trying with me, you done screwed up the way your [lines] I chew up
You ain't from my neck of the woods
The paint job is [—] but the hood
Dues [—] on this business that I stood
I do try every day but by night up to no good
Try as you may, I'll never be understood
You write an expendable, defensible utensil, just a lead — think you're cool with the [—]
My [—] is incredible, it's nonsensical — my flow is not rinse-able, disperse [—]
School, I'm the principal, understand [—] principle, [—] in the pool
Mistake — I'm invincible, you ain't tough shit, you liquid stool

---

I'm So Sick (photographed Oct 19, 2026)

I'm So Sick *[title followed by a crossed-out scribble]*

Being sick and tired, let society [—]
What are you crying for? What are you lying for?
What are you trying for? What are you dying for?
You know what you will be trying for — no more denying lore
It's it, it's finished — throw up, no buying more, nor
Get another chance, take a glance, begin the climb — now set fire to your pants
Take a stance, make ya dance like covered in ants — [pain] is your only romance, [love got no chance]
Time I got to rhyme the Devil in his prime, committing crimes, spitting [—] going lines
It's burial time, pick a burial plot, watch the aerial shot of bodies dropped [—] a dock, they got shot
That mermaid Ariel that [—] not [—] get tangled with a horse, [—] took a [—]
Think I feel remorse, of course not — I have more bodies than Thor's got, I'm in worst lot

---

Circles (photographed Oct 19, 2026)

I'm going in circles, circles — I'm going, keep going in circles
So many hurdles to hurdle, time moving like a turtle, hurt [—]
Suffocates me like I'm wearing a girdle, world so absurd I'll encircle
Make God do the Urkel: "Did I do that?" Life is [—] death-like, so fatal
Round and round, all around another round, world spinning in circles
Circles in circles, the darkness encircles us, we go in circles
Circles, I'm going in circles, you are going in circles, we all just go in circles
Circles in circles, circles in circles, going in ci-i-i-rcles in circles

Every day goes the same way as the other day, same way as the next day
Same way every day, same [—] any day, something everyone say every day
Try a different way, end up the same way, like it is every day — I need a way
To get away from the way I'll feel every day — maybe one day, some day
Someway find a day that I don't feel this way, can't be always, always
Till that day I need to find a way — I say I pray for the way to a new day
Maybe one day I find a way to feel a new way, not some way, not today
Yesterday, same thing I say on this day — maybe the next day, or after that day
Either way, neither way, either day, either they go the same way as every day
Making me go insane, causing me to go in pain, by the end of the day written in [—]
By end of the day I hear myself say I want to end the way I feel today and the day
By wanting to go away, ending the days by ending my days is the [—] day
I want to end the way I feel, by the way, by ending my days by the end of the [—]
Because I am circling the drain, going in circles every day, I [—] every way
Because I'm going in circles

*(he wrote "hook" beneath the last lines — marking the structure himself)*

---

(untitled — photographed Oct 19, 2026, after "Circles")

I spend my days daydreaming because at night I'm wide awake
I don't like to sleep because I'm afraid where my dreams will take
Me in my brain, might [—] walk away — these chains I can't break
Free from my pain, it's driving me insane, feels like I'm drowning in a lake
I can't flee my brain, I'm in its domain, where I shall remain [—]
24/7 my greatest hell is dreaming of my heaven
Running out of hope so I turn to my vices to cope
Running out of places to hang up this rope
Do I believe I'll live a long life? Nope
Read it in the rhymes I wrote, I feel it around my throat
My pain, or the absence of it, has me in the fast lane to go insane

---

Better (photographed Oct 19, 2026)

You good? I am better, yes [—] who is better? Don't lie, you know [—]
Who's the best? I am better, ya ya, I am better — down to letter, big better, I am better
Whether rain, sun, snow, any weather, I am better — like a [—], more weather, I'm better
1234, check the score — 1234, wreck ya — I'm sore, 1234, fear the lore, 1234, none want it more
1234321, I'm number 1 — just like that I get it, love you, better run
Anyone who want it, come and get it — talk that shit, get hit, burn them [—], I split it
When I write it, too legit — to split, to quit it, I get it
I'm the asshole, yeah I did it — I [—] it, W's to be [—]
Pen has sorrow when Rhymes I lay, pain and cries I ride it, wish to be [—]
Haters hate that I'm great — if I fall they would celebrate it, but they imitated
That I elevated, try to berate it, dumb them, rate it — people know they're [—], [—] none [—]
This twisted mind of mine never is silent
This shit gets kind of dark but shine forever violent
You might find out secrets that would cause a giant
True slight giant
Nothing can stop me or even delay it — run that back, replay it
321, go on my relay, swift motor mouth, [—] go spray shit
Won't stop even after I make it, never be outdated, it knows understated
If I were to guesstimate it, I'll be best to make it — only way that I lose my [—]
Is the day I go away and vacated — gone but never faded, it is hated
That'll be forever celebrated, nominated, dominated

---

The Sub (fragment — photographed Oct 19, 2026)

The Sub

Hey now everyone, settle down, settle down
Professor J.C. is not here today. So in his place today we have Mr. Goose?" Bitch, you know who the fuck it is, you know who
Now summon the Goose King — 1-2, 1-2

Yung Case

---

(three-line fragment — photographed Oct 19, 2026)

Step inside my mind — [crossed out words] lost in it
As I move in this, dropping bombs like I'm on some Boston shit
After I finish a line, bet you think twice before crossin' it

*(the rest of the page is faint show-through from writing on the back of the sheet — not this page's content)*

---

Day (photographed Oct 19, 2026)

Today is a beautiful day, [a shining] day — I love the way sun lights the sky, [—] today
Love the way I feel today, I feel real today — can't conceal the way I actually feel alive today
I saw myself smile today in a way I haven't seen in a while, made me pause and say
I think I actually might feel happy today — that doesn't happen every day, been [—] this way
Been so long I felt this way, too many days be in a daze, a foggy haze cast, I get [—] made
That train has made one day easy to fade away in the pain I gain from many days [—]
So many days I don't feel this way, don't feel OK — but not today, this day is better [to me]
I do say in an honest way I feel happy today, the way I feel makes [—]
Because I feel alive today, feel like staying alive today, and hold my [—] over [—]
I will be OK, I say that in a real way today, feel I will make it through every day
That I don't feel OK — [days] like today are the days that say to me even dark days [—]
To move through, have a way to survive that bad day, just [—] the way [every] day [—]
The way the sun shines today reminds me I'm alive today, I'll survive today, I will [—]
To find a way to grind away till one day there comes a day the world [knows] my name
Preach my name — the same people who tried to shame my name will teach my name
Till the very end of days hear me say that will be true one day — 1-2-1 [—]
Today is a beautiful day, a shining day — I love the way the sun lights the sky [—] today
Today is a day I feel a beautiful way — I feel like Casey is alive today, I may [—] today
Today is a beautiful day to be alive today
Today is a beautiful Day

---

A G.O.D (red ink — photographed Oct 19, 2026)

You don't know me, you go blow me, I'll blow up the whole scene
Before I go bend one knee — I'm a GOD, a G.O.D, dumb old queen
I'm not scary, [—] old [—] behind [me] — you don't know me, a GOD, you damn queen
Why would I find a nanny as [—] scary — you're a queen of nobody, [—] queen of nothing
Bitch, I am a GOD, a G.O.D, be a God, bitch, I am a God, GOD, God, bitch, I'm a GOD
Get off my rod, old busted twat, smell like rot, your [—] that twat smell like [—] dot

*(last line in black ink:)*
I aspire to climb higher, rhyme [flip] like I'm the supplier, [—] denier, soul transfer wire

---

(untitled, red ink — photographed Oct 19, 2026; follows "A G.O.D")

As I pen this flow my blood will shout the same ink [—]
When it's time I will know, when it's time I rhyme [—]
When it's time I will know I will rhyme, and [—] so [—]

What am I to do, what now, what now — let down, act out, lash out, [—] down

Have you ever been a God before? There's nothing [—] like it
I am one of them — people not like most other people
I don't think you even understand who the hell I am or will be
I don't quite understand [—] by me again, young man, [—]
Run that mouth again for me — run it back for me, [for] me, run it back for me

I'm afraid to sleep — many [—] but not on the [same], none be [—]
In my dreams I lucid dream best, be unlike many, and there's not [—]
Many that can actually lucid dream consistent as me

*(last line in black ink:)*
My lucid dreams to many do seem to be unbelievably —

---

Hate Me (photographed Oct 19, 2026)

They hate me, they hate me, hate me — everyone wanna hate, shady, why hate me?
Every day see another story be fired at JC — nothing you say be enough to phase me
In the morgue no [—] waste me, lick this dick, taste me — maybe switch [—] to hate me
Never been people pleaser

When you see yourself change
Turning into something strange
You feel a little deranged

*(two side-by-side drafts of the same stanza:)*

One thing over time [that I did learn — crossed out]
I did learn
We only have so much time [—] it fly
It does fly
Quick it does burn

One thing that I, over time,
Did learn
Is that we [only] have so much time
[And it burns]
So make the most, increase its worth
While still on this earth

*(at the bottom of the page:)*
With rules I never did well

---

The Professor (photographed Oct 19, 2026)

Teacher! Teacher! [—] teacher, the loud mouth [—]
Going on about —
Welcome class, where —

Beautiful
It's beautiful, like, feel safe, life is beautiful
So beautifully brutal, so beautiful, so brutal yet beautiful
At a minimal it is subliminal, I feel like a criminal
I feel so abysmal, so empty, once full, so plentiful, [—] pitiful
Is it all fate or is it accidental, type of thoughts can drive one mental
From an early date, rotten like a dental cave, for it [—] rotten
Any day might end it all by O.D. on some fentanyl and fall
What more —
Some time

As I sit here writing these lines
Reminiscing a lot the good times
Getting lost in all these rhymes
I can't help but feel sometimes
That I'm running out my times
Sometimes it's like the skies that shine
Have all aligned in a confine
With a mind like mine may find sometimes
I'm not fine, no, I'm not fine sometimes
When living in a head like mine sometimes
Gets a feeling not alive, that I'm dead inside at times
Sometimes while writing these lines, lost in these rhymes
At times unable to find me in the meantime
Please don't cry or waste your time, it's that way sometimes
At times we all have to go at sometime

---

Past the Stars (photographed Oct 19, 2026)

*(title at the top, with "Up There — Space to Be" written beside it)*

I come with message that may sound bizarre
One day these rhymes of mine
That you refuse to see
That I fill in, line after line
Will be all left of me
If you took the time, just might find
What you wish to see
How to define my broken mind
[Is] how it is, how it'll be
I am not ok, I'm not fine
In pain, I am so lonely

*(right column, red ink:)*
To fill notebook after notebook
Led to every last line
Just to where they [—] in your
Mind, knowing no one will ever find
Except for those "friends" you mean [—]
But know it's only for a short time
Before they too will leave you behind
So I'll end this rhyme by asking
More time — have you ever been lonely?
Have you only known to be lonely?
This life of mine I've never been fine
All I've ever known in life, really
Ever been so lonely

Lonely (red ink, same page)

Have you ever felt lonely?
When the only voice you hear is your own only
With a heart full of desire to be loved
A life full of cold darkness in which you feel shoved
To always be complimented by how you look
But soon as you open your mouth, the hook
Running off with your heart they took
Living every day [—], see so many smile and laugh while [I] really remember feel sad
While trying to not cry, being mistaken for being mad
To see so many people you know build families while [—] you'll never be a dad
To only want someone to say to you they love you and be hated by all who had
Try to do everything to prove you're a good guy but always told you are bad
Have you ever felt lonely? Have you only ever known to be lonely!
Have you given up on romance because you know you have no chance
Have you ever craved for just one magnificent slow dance but get no glance
Do you know what it's like to lose every single friend who no longer even pretend
To care, to spend every night with none with an ear to lend
To wake up every day crying that it didn't end? To stop touching [—] your body knowing it's more [—]

---

The Chozen / The Chosen (photographed Oct 19, 2026)

*(he wrote the title twice — "The Chozen" on the left, "The Chosen" on the right; "My" above)*

I know, I know that maybe sounds a little crazy
I do know, I know what exactly [—] me, my fate be
You know, do you know

*(red ink:)*
It's over, it's ok, tell her it's ok — someone tell it is over, let go, ok
Tell her it's over, ok, tell her let go, she's not ok, tell her ok — someone tell her, tell her [—]
Tell her, someone tell somebody got to tell she is not ok, tell her [—] to walk away
See it in the way she acting, the way she behave — tell her [—] her [—] speak by [—] book
I'm the one she should face, this man will take it [—]

---

Running (photographed Oct 19, 2026)

Running, I keep running, running
I been running [—], life keeps coming
Through pages I keep on thumbing
Through the ages my soul been summoned
Who — this face is a shell of what I'm becoming
My faith is in a special something
My fate will not let me be nothing
It's been a long, long time coming
This is not a typical story, one atypical for me
It's one to be told, full of glory, [—] recuperatory
One I run seems to be [—], stationary cycle story
On and on I've gone, many times dusk till dawn
Under the sun this son runs, under the moon
With only stars to light the path I'm on, and nigh noon
Still I move to my groove on my two hooves
Even after known many different dooms
Leaving chapter after chapter, still my path resumes
None know who I am, whatever they assume
Through the doom and gloom I bloom
All I knew is through in my rearview
As I move to — it is who [—] I shall turn into
All I have done and I shall do, on this path I continue
Even when I feel Blu I move as swiftly as the wind blow
If you know as I do, [—] it'll be truly stunning
But I'm not through, so as I always do, forever continue to keep running
Running, running, I keep running, running — I'll be forever running
Running to be who I'm becoming, running, running
To where my fate awaits, I keep on running

---

(short fragment — photographed Oct 19, 2026)

I don't think I'll last long
Don't go get me wrong, move along

I got a mental illness that beats me down
My fundamental unwellness that makes me frown
I'm detrimental to all that's all around
Play me an instrumental, get lost in the sound
Lay me in this coffin, it's a rental

*(faint mirrored show-through at the top of the sheet reads "The Island — J.C. Henley," apparently the back of another page)*

---

You (photographed Oct 19, 2026)

Hey you, yeah you, I'm talking to you

You don't know of these burdens I carry
Their implications you'll find them scary
Across the veil my soul travels by ferry
Plenty of wishes but no fishes turn fairy
My times smooth and [—] but the void is heavy
I'm truly a son of God, mother is no Virgin Mary
My only love is poetry, to which I do marry
I am alive, it's true, but only barely
I have seen love but felt it only rarely
Even then it is only momentarily, just temporarily
I'm talking from hoes or bros that loyal
Many relationships and friendships went and spoiled
The fickleness of this shit is ridiculous

---

Pyro (photographed Oct 19, 2026)

Pyro, pyro, I'm such a pyro, I know
I'm a pyro, I watch the fire grow and glow
To the sky go, no control, admire it go and glow
All that I know, anything I throw can only show
This fire glow from down below, it will take all I know
This entire empire I sire from fire [—], acquire, with desire rise higher
[—] won't expire, try to inspire, never been a liar or [—]
Follow my lead in the words you read, flames will need you to feed
Deeds of greed, grace at a speed, can't get a bead, [—] as I bleed
Pyro, I'm such a pyro, I know, I am such a pyro, pyro
I know you will go, so I will go, show how my fire glow
Watch it grow and lose control as it go burn all in [—]

---

Don't Trust It (photographed Oct 19, 2026)

Don't trust it, no, I don't, don't trust it
Not even a little bit, nope, I don't trust shit
If someone is being overly nice at first meet
Instantly my mind reminds me antifreeze is deadly but sweet
Don't trust it
If a chick requests to be my friend
Don't trust it
Then the first message is sent
But it wasn't you who set it in movement
Talking about being lonely, looking for improvement
Then talking on some freaky shit and intent
On you to slide through, to smash and dent
Go park wild, screw, clap them cheeks till it's spent
Then in an instant asking for help to pay her rent
Don't trust it
If someone keeps asking you question after question
You make it clear [you want] to steer in a different direction
But they keep digging for information, ignore the suggestion
Don't trust it
If you walk down your street and randomly [—]
If you're online, bare cheeked in your seat
On your own for alone time, [—] about your meat
Retrieve email saying you've a large inheritance from a relative you did not meet
And they need a packet for ID and ask for Social Security [—]
Don't trust it
If someone tells you they love you — they don't trust it
Swears they will never hurt you — don't trust it
Asks if they have ever lied to you — don't trust it
Promises they will never leave you — don't trust it
Don't trust it, don't trust it, don't trust it, I don't trust it

---

Think So / fragments (photographed Oct 19, 2026)

**Think So** *(with "I don't" crossed out under the title)*

I think so, you think so, I don't know, I don't
I don't think so, do you think so? No, I, I don't
I think of you, I do — what are you up to, all been good?
I think it'd be cool if we could try to be like we used to

*(separate fragment:)*
I need you, I don't need you, why do I still need you
What do I need to do now — I need to forget about you, I can't forget you
They — all I have left of you are memories of me and you, I do
Still think about you

*(separate fragment:)*
As I lie here under the moon, I stare at a star
Your voice in my ear, wonder about you and where you are

---

(two fragments — photographed Oct 19, 2026)

Oh — ah, let's go, oh no, schitzo, let's go sicko
Time to change, act strange, deranged, rearrange
Let the rage break the cage, tear up the stage, [—] save me
Then calm now, take a walk around, cool down, find peace inside
Switch as I — back to dark side, time to Hyde, no place to hide, I don't know where to go
Just take it slow, easy now, you go steady, you roll, breathe out the nose, flow
Grow

*(second fragment:)*
This chick lit this wick
So quick, went up instant
This chick makes me sick
She tricks me and gets distant
What is it with this chick
My heart [— crossed out —] she in it to win it this minute
In my heart a blade she stick

---

Step in the Cage (photographed Oct 19, 2026)

In this day in the digital age
Cyber warriors with digital rage
Real life fighters here in your face
Check [—] blood, neckin', love the taste
Cyber warriors in this digital rage
Real fighter here, step in the Cage
She's pretty but she knows how to be rowdy
Baked goodness share with me
None withstood this miss, she MVP
None understood this kid, Lil [—]
I'm a undersold [—] probably crazy
[— crossed-out line —] gold pen held, [—] now up to her to amaze me
Let's go, let's throw, let's go'll break bones
Step toe to toe with the goat, Jon Jones
I'm a real writer, real fighter, real rider
[—] no older, call me Silva, The Spider
God — you can't see me, got you squintin'
Act your damn age or I'll rampage like Quinton
I'm a odd one of the flock
Like me is none, I'm only one in stock
I'm a poet who loves [—] and some rock
But know that talk shit get hit, get clock
When I crossover, take over like Brock
Born with bars or hands, I'll put 'em on ya
Bender of words, of styles, like I'm Adesanya
You can wanna drum up any of that drama
Dropping bars like [—] don't want these hands put on you
I'm over here throwing, swinging hammers like Ngannou
Sometimes I'm not nice and I don't give a fuck
These rhymes [—] Iceman, like name is Chuck
Fighting me will bring you and your clan dishonor
This little Irish man going around talking gold like Conor
Talk big all you want, I know you ain't shit but a dweeb
Poor them news, step in here with me, I'm [—] call me Khabib

---

(untitled — "most beautiful nightmare") (photographed Oct 19, 2026)

What's fair? Only know unfair

I know I am a nightmare, I know I'm a fright scare
I know I don't fight fair, but know that I swear
I'd never take it there, just look into my stare
Brush out the way my hair, into my eyes stare
Noticing there beats a soul that really do care
That only wants you there, with a heart to share
Never meant to make you scared
I would never even dare, I swear
This life is not fair, never been fair
I swear it all is so damn unfair
Why do I still care, I do care
I swear that I still will always care
At your photo I still stare
In two apart my heart tear
I can't take it, I can't bear
Not sober mind, completely bare
Into those eyes I stare
In my dreams you are there
[— crossed out —]
Yes, that does cause scare
You are the most beautiful nightmare

---

Never Left the Ground (photographed Oct 19, 2026)

Load the gun, make it tick tick
Unload it once, make it click click

Did you hear me call — I'm ignored by all
Did you watch me fall — all ignored my call
Do you love me at all — share love by none at all
Did you watch me fall — now it's too late to stall
No you didn't, not at all — now watch me fall
I feel low even when I stand tall — notice my feet never left the ground at all
I'm falling down as I drown — when I fall my feet won't leave the ground at —
I'll be found, my feet never left the ground
With so many around, none ever heard a sound
As all these demons that after me relentlessly hound
All I know wherever I go, I know I'm hell bound
So now here I go, now I'm going down, I'm falling down
I know wherever I am found, my feet never left the ground
With so many people who surround me all around
None of them, no not one of them, ever heard a sound
As I tried to scream [—], if I said I never begged [—] any around, as the storm
Like the rain continues to pound in my pain, I plead because I drowned
I can hear the growls of the hell hounds coming for me because I'm hell bound
Come to take me [—], if you wish to see how, watch me as I fall down
Hung up in my closet is where I'll be found, that's where I'll be found
Take your last photo with me now, hear it in my voice, listen to its sound
Hung up in my closet is where I'll be found, that's where I'll be found
Before you cut me down, notice how far I fell down when I'm found
Notice how my feet never left the ground — I [—], my feet never left the gr—

---

Say GoodBye (red ink — photographed Oct 19, 2026)

With every day that goes by
One day closer to say GoodBye
Don't worry about me, ok, I'll be alright
As I walk to the light, [—] into the night
Take a look at the light, a beautiful sight
Always be by your side, fight for you, be your knight
Take a look into my eyes, no lies, you know I'm right
Mute a hook in disguise, realize true, show I'm wise
Beyond my years, not my first life — if I die, new form I'll rise
Bonds tied here got eternal life, can't die despite all of my tries
Dawn's how [—] intermingling in the sky, to light all of our lives
Brown might I fear win some but not all, fight still, wings of [—] flight
On sight I'll appear [—] my enemies' fright, I'll fight till all remains is right
Gone might I physically, but my dear I'm here, find me in the light
I, that bright light, right in the beautiful light that [—] street
Into the darkness always I be there, right by your side
To hold you up through every high tide, every bump in our wild ride
Through your entire life, even if you hear of my own suicide
I'll there through the fire, all the way down to the last wire
I know you are tired, [—] lift you higher, to greater [—] I'll inspire
I'm no liar, I only aspire to be on your side [—] I never retire
I leave to you my entire empire when I'm going to go, build to the sh[—]
Just know I must go through the fire to achieve a power much higher
Still by your side, trust me when I tell you not a single lie
So take my love, dry your eye, please don't cry or worry about why
Whenever that certain date does come and pass on by
I'll know it'll be hard and will hurt, but please try to not cry
Sometimes have to do things don't want to do, but you see me, look to the sky
Don't grieve when I leave, have faith in me, trust, look into my eye
I'll be there when you need me, so until next time don't cry — say goodbye

---

(six-line fragment, blue ink — photographed Oct 19, 2026)

Here I go, bust my flow, show [how] I [—], so turn into Poe
Hear my woe, fear I grow, clear a [—], I lay low, [—] as I'm a doe whose [—], bomb I throw
Everything you do I've done it — I go pedal to the metal when I gun it, gold medal, show I won it
Laps around this game, I run it, you don't run shit, I lyrically stun it — try to shun it, don't want it
I'm the one at the summit, watch as you plummet, little weak shit, no need to plumb it
You are nowhere near the level as this Devil I be, so bitch can't see it, your eye [—]

*(rest of the page is faint show-through from other pages)*

---

(fragments incl. "The Rebel" — photographed Oct 19, 2026)

Tick tock, clocks get clocked, kick rocks, [—] block
Sick get mocked, chick shocked, locked the flock, split, pick the whole
Prick soft bitch, lick a cock, used as [—], step back, knock knock
How many accounts of suspicious accounts

*(fragment:)*
I hate you and you hate me, must be why you took [—] me
My fate will elevate to a higher state than your entire empire great
I may be fighting a heavy weight, I know, but wait, I [—]
[—] come out trying to demonstrate

**The Rebel**
How can you articulate the thoughts that circulate, let it percolate, create
Initiate, accelerate, to generate [—], penetrate what you perpetrate
Eliminate — [?]
I am unknown, my kind not known, as I have shown
I don't want no throne — what good is it, only in my phone

---

(fragment — photographed Oct 19, 2026)

As we speak, my blood leak, I feel so weak, I can't speak — I [—] keep awake
My eyes [—] to creep [—] I sleep, my soul [—] will keep, in the games I leap, as we stare
As we speak, been up all week, past my streak

Sorry guys, I realized it was that time, heart need release
I began feeling love for the Block, and that had to stop or I'd [die]

*(two lines in red ink:)*
Pen got to ripping shit, flipping [—], never [—] am sitting, red rum, I got to sling up, rest'll [—] and pass
Shy21 getting it up, ladies I'm [—] up, lizard getting magnificent, spitting up, met it with it like zigs

*(rest of the page is bleed-through from other pages)*

---

Never Say My Name (photographed Oct 19, 2026)

Meditate all you want, you silly cunt
Won't hesitate, send [—] to your pussy, I punt
How many medications, lost count, but I take none
That's right bitch, get with the [—], Beyoncé blitz, you done
If I were you, would've chose to just take off, bitch run
Legally I'm not allowed to own a gun
But really I'm in no need to own me one
To take this fist to just rip out your tongue
Laugh as you pass from blood filling each lung, pen [—] but I'm not done
I'm fucking psychotic, I goddamn hunt
I'll [—] use my [—] to beat that slut
Get a lil nervously, [—] bust in her butt, make her lick my dogs
Kill [—] whore, more gore as my Moby Dick ruptures her gut
Film this shit, upload murder porn, case of double homicide, bad chick
Then the following year on the anniversary drop the Director's Cut
Clearly I'm unstable, schizophrenic, split shit, [—] with deadly tics
You little dick bitch, more like a big clit, sissy bitch
I'm lil ill with lethal skill and a will to kill, [—] any [—]
I'm plain insane, new veins of Bruce Wayne
Ready to introduce inhumane levels of gruesome pain
I'm the bat who laughs as he crafts traps
To snap you in half, from back of your shoulder blade to your [—]
Fuck no, we ain't the same
Why the fuck would I aim for that claim
You're so lame, a [—] in bootleg version of the game
Never be shit, never [—], I'm more than [—], no [—] of fame
Don't known for when the [—] Devil brought the flame
GRA — Never Say My Name

---

Dear Heavenly Father (prayer — photographed Oct 19, 2026)

[—] do by you to live my life the way you want me to
I know it's true that I could do a better job, do right by you, but not perfect like you
I can only promise to improve how it is that I should do — I got a job to do
To help those who need me, to help them heal, to teach them what seems out of reach
To understand how they feel, to learn to deal with these demons, show them how to heal
Yes I know not all of any understand how I do truly what that means for me
Of what's to come of my story, all in your name, all in your glory
Some will not [—] for me, then try to come for me, while [—] will work for me
But will never stop what you have planned for me — but they can't, none can
Nobody, not anybody, nor me. Every person along the way is a lesson you teach
Whether it's for healing them or me, how not all be as they seem
That [—] have a chance to — not all will be redeemed, some will scheme
Some [—], so many unaware they need to be freed, some need to bleed
Some of others feed on inflicting misery, some will repeat history
Others pursue to understand the great mystery
Some will teach by that, despite as great as they seem and things they see
Despite as amazing as they are, they leave a beautiful sight to see
Not every beautiful thing is meant to be permanently [—]
But for one reason or another that's so sad to see, it's the way it had to be
In order the best to be actually able to be able to be, they may have [—] to be
In this I'm believer, despite a griever, my purpose I'll be overachiever
I will be honestly living, can't conceive to deceive, from the path before me
With heart on my sleeve I'll be me, remain me at the core, [—] only
What needs to be to [—] me and help my purpose to achieve
This with my heart and soul both in whole I do believe
With my love and [—] in the [—], my [—] upstairs
Tell everyone up there I love them, and I'll need them there
Whenever it's time — Amen

---

(untitled — "ghost town" / quarantine piece, photographed Oct 19, 2026)

I'm just a ghost now, I'm just a ghost now
Living in a ghost town, dealing with all these ghosts around
Can't believe I'm a ghost now, turned to a ghost, how?
Everywhere I go now, seeing all the ghosts around
The sight of ghosts I frown, ghosts now always brings me down
Just what's going down to bring all these ghosts around
Turning my hometown into this ghost town's broke down
Nobody [—] ghosts around, what's that all about now
I'm starting to freak out, think I may break down now
Why can't I get out, why can I not leave town, what now
I'm trying to reach out to my [—], please help me out, I need out
Of this ghost town, town belongs to the ghosts now
I don't feel right now, messing with my sight now
I think I may need some sleep now, can't remember last I laid down
So tired so I go lay down, soon as I lay down feel restless now
So I'm up now, groggy, as I roam the house, just walk around
Told me I'm being quarantined, can someone tell me what's that even mean
They are separating me from my family so they can stay all healthy
Cause apparently I caught something that can be deadly, guess we will see
But personally, between you and me, I don't really believe what they're telling me
If you asked me I'd say the whole pandemic thing is kinda weak
It's been a whole week and I got a sneeze, cough and wheeze, please
It's [—] nothing all that special to me, I'm kicking it pretty casually
But apparently according to the news it's climbing higher in casualties

---

(untitled flow piece + red "go down" fragment — photographed Oct 19, 2026)

When I go I flow, some straight planet throws and it shows
The way the shit I spit glows, line after line, catch as it grows
The way my mind will grind, so refined, only define as divine god flow
No way can you claim ever find another the same like me in the game
Not a name that came in so insane as this brain membrane in cellophane
Bringing hella pain from my home in my own hell, plane at [—] same
So high, fly over planes, as I whip my [—] with a sky, not flames
Move, that's a peach, James, dunk on it — King James, King of Games

*(red ink:)*
I know now how it'll go down, it'll go down now, it'll go down [—]
Then go down how it'll go down, look around, no one around to hear there the sound
If they're not around to hear the sound, then is there a sound? Let's find out
Remove all doubt, I know all about light, go out, [—] here now, the joke's [—]
What will [—] but lost no doubt, not one about what will down, it'll go down
When I say down, watch it go down — what goes up must come down
Goes around will come around, and comes down when I say down

---

Pride (photographed Oct 19, 2026)

One thing you can't take, no matter how much you tries
No matter if you ripping, cutting, [—] to have it pried
That one thing you can't ever take is a say-along pride
You and I are not alike, different wires on the inside
I've fought for everything, you got the easy ride
*(one line in red:)* I've gotten here [—] by carrying my own weight, with [—] stride
You think that opponent's size is enough [—] that I'd leave wide
There's not no neither in or outside the [—] wouldn't [—] to decide
It's certain the warrior

---

Gone (photographed Oct 19, 2026)

I want to be remembered when I'm gone
That the world knows I did something when I was on
That in the game of life, not just a random pawn
Just some random face forgotten with a tired yawn
Want to be a strategist like Grand Admiral Thrawn
To raise a little hell here and there like Spawn
To be known in my home and across the Big Pond
To have plenty of people I was able to build a bond
For people to know while a dark path [—], they asked for help, I did respond
That I showed the reason why and inspired that fire to keep on keeping on
Not just a weirdo everyone thought, just a [—] and keep sleeping on
That someone heard my story, learned of my fight, felt the need to pass it on
To tell me in my whole to some soul in need here, to help console, to [—] on
To forever live on, that immortal status type, have some class in the type on
To prove that when it is all said and done, after battles all won
That there is no doubt upon the rest — I'll go down as The Chosen One
Basically saying that once I'm physically passed, forever on
My name will continue to forever live on
I just want to be remembered when I'm Gone

---

Already Dead Remix (photographed Oct 19, 2026)

I'm already dead
Heard what I said
No lies being fed
I lay in my deathbed
Not just in my head
I'm already dead

You can see pain in my laugh
When's the last time see me laugh
I don't remember last since I did laugh
Lacking on love, I need that
Slacking on it, where's it at
Need it in my veins, stat
Indeed my time done went flat
But thank you for the little chat
Already folded up, put away like a mat
Don't you join me, trust, won't want that
Hold them demons back like [—] with my staff
We'll see who gets the last laugh
You can see my pain in my laugh
Demons coming for me, they coming fast
Born from in my very own past
Learn to burn to ash, knew we wouldn't last

I'm already dead
Heard what I said
No lies being fed
I lay in my death bed
Not just in my head
I'm already dead
I'm sorry Mr. [Red?]
I'm Already Dead

---

(untitled — "My pen" — photographed Oct 19, 2026)

My pen the only 1 standing in the game
Your pin, my pen, just are not the same
I'm like a bull in a pen, can't tame
You're all [—], just full of it, so damn lame
I came through on my Miley, wrecking it everywhere
You and the rest of dem, pins up in the air
I slice through, you don't need the [—], nope, don't care
Pull your pins, throw rules of shade, cause up a scare
Laid you all out when I go in, wrath in sin, too be fair
Played you, fell out, no doubt, I only strike, left none to spare

*(right margin:)*
You're insane if in to the [—]
Thinking gain a [—] to claim
Home you done lost, why [—], no shame
I'll avenge you when I end game

*(below:)*
What do you know, do you really know, or think you know
I'm asking you, so do me a solid, show me what it is you know
There's many ways this can go, and I'm for it, all up

---

Fifth batch — sent Wednesday, October 21, 2026

Jennie sent a fifth batch of pages ("I sent you some more of Casey's writings"). Transcribed in chat the same day, in the order sent. Bracketed words mark readings that could not be confirmed from the handwriting. This batch introduces the name "Shxdi" / "Lil Shxdi" throughout, and "Bwess" as an addressee/rival.

---

I am the One man-god many names

[Black ink. Untitled.]

I am the One man-god many names
I am the one that Death never claims
Forever a player of the cosmic eternal games
After I burn I'll rise again ["Reborn" written above the line] like a phoenix through the flames
Creating [the] multiverses within my brain
Making so many choices speaking with so many voices no wonder I'm a little in[sane — line runs off the right edge]
Spilling so much blood including my own falling like the rain
Alone on the Throne Thee Prince of Pain still does remain [word overwritten] his bloody reign
Ready set aim at any lame in my lane put em to Shame and set the flame
Cause we are not the same I'm eternal [and] already I forgot your name

This is my life

[Black ink. Untitled — titled here by its first line.]

This is my life
I have no kids and I have no wife
Just my dog ["always" written above the line] by my side
And that goofy guy along for the ride
Welcome to the Shit Show
Been fucked sideways from the get go
It is what it is and you get what you get so
No point to go and throw a fit bro
Just roll with the punches control what you can thats it so
Don't let it grow till it shows you as just another schizo losing his [—] [line runs off the right edge of the page]
This is as good as it gets bro welcome to the Shit Show
No [we] like to keep it high when we get low so keep that shit lit bro
As I sit [crossed-out words] that I write blows into a legit hit yo welcome to the Shit Show

---

What "S" Thinks

*Red ink. The piece is built on message / massage / messenger wordplay, and in his cursive those words blur into each other — the bracketed variants below are the uncertain ones.*

What "S" Thinks

You really want to know what "S" thinks

So you can't massage my messages to me I'm trying to message? and You're a messer?
How long you been messaging messages as a messenger bc you're not very good a message the Message
As a messenger who's supposed to message get them messages to who I want to message.
You [?] post is a mid Level Masseur. You mid assy Messages or message my I'm in messaged
Mid Messenger. Thing is if I'm going to Message to Leave a Message and I [get] back on the
All [?] Messages and Messages Message board and lower your messenger score at poor Messenger
Filing the message was due to failure to messages bc of attitude/Messenger work ethic
On messaging my damn messages and when I finish my Message I am going to hit Send Message
Don't you even think of Judging me you mid Massager

Just Think About It

*Red ink. Two lines stand alone at the top of the page, then the title, then the piece.*

As sure as the sun rising in the East and setting in the West
I'm going to be one fighting Beast

Just Think About It

[x2] Just Think About It [about It] think About It Would You Just Think About It Think about it
Please tell me you'll Just Think About It Please Just Think About It
Trust me I know how it sounds no need to tell me about it
Yes I know it sounds crazy no need to go shout it
Yes it's hard to believe I don't blame you if you doubt it
No I'm sure I haven't completely lost it my thoughts ain't clouded
I know it may appear I may need my GPS to be rerouted

La la ha La-La La-La La-La

*Red ink; no title — the "Rose Delay" piece. Several lines run off the right page edge, and a few words are written in above the lines; those are noted where they occur.*

La la ha La-La La-La La-La
Rose Delay Rose Perry the [pick] is a Rose Delay Perry why? Isn't Rose a girl name [— line runs off the right page edge]
What is Rose supposed to delay [?] who is in the way in no way [?] hoe so [?]
Nobody wants to hear your racist shit any way God to [?] herself a throw away
In a way got me [feeling] like a white kid at [?] [underlined: I Say] [written above the line: from the way I feel hate [?] [?] when I [?]]
Got me lookin to [?] where I may smell a [?] [?] decay under the crawlspace [small words written in above, right side: God [?] / [?]]
The [?] I can [?] not [?] mentioning the stupid race is I sight the stones [?] in [?] [?] [small word below the line at far right: Rae]
Somebody show Rose the door Straight [?] away and [?] [?] No Delay

Running on E

*Black ink.*

Running on E

I think my tank may be running on E
I'm afraid that may be it for me
I'm pretty sure the finish line I can see
Matter of fact I think [that it's] right behind me
Could it possibly be
I'm running on E
Where's the closest gas station near me
I thought it would be forever with [the] poetry
Has it already been an eternity
Sometimes I feel it has certainly
Other times it feels like it just started to me
Maybe I need something to inspire me
Because it's so tiring to be the one inspiring
Has me contemplating retiring
Then on comes more writing retiring
After that I'm speculating to [my] raw being
All that I am [every] fiber in my entire being
Do I need to rest and find something inspiring
Or could my ink in my pen drying and time expiring
Maybe I'm just tired overreading to the entire thing
Or maybe just possibly [slightest] possibility
That I really just have lost the novelty
Think on [crossed out word] my family is in fragility
Denying it to hide my humility
That regrettably I've reached the inevitability
Have I hit my zenith and the [flames] burning weak
Have I really done reached my highest peak
Is this it for me or will rebound back to form [extension]
Will boundaries continue to be pushed further by me
Or maybe I could really be Running on E
I'm afraid that may be it for me
I'm pretty sure the finish line I can see
Matter of fact I think [that's it] behind me
Could I possibly be Running on E

---

I don't know what else to say

[Red ink over faint pencil, with heavy show-through from the next page. The top six lines are much fainter and partly obscured; the main piece below them is clearer.]

I don't know how much wider the tank may be empty
The end is almost near taunting to tempt me
Wondering how long til the next attempt be
I'm struggling to keep my grip [rest of line lost under show-through]
I feel [an] [fear] behind slip
My crew [—] silent [—]

I don't know what else to say
In these lines that I lay
Maybe its best if I walk away
But I love this game we play
And Shxdi has some lines left to slay
To serve them up flayed sautéed on [display]
Shxdi wants Shxdi gets Shxdi always gets his way
When Shxdi attacks like a tax makes everyone pay
So put them hands together and begin to pray
That you may be luck[y] enough to not catch a Shxdi stray
Take a guess of who I'm about to leave you ass
If [you] guess Bwess then the answer is yes ["I confess" written above "is yes"; the word before "guess" is blotted out]
Bwess you like to jest animals I molest you [jealous] pest ["ass" written above "pest"]
Give it a rest you failed the test how you gonna act hard with [real] man breast
Saying shit like: "Me and Gary we gonna form a church"
[Big] whoop shoot you little fruit loop probably let Gary police your "Poopchute"

Ready or Not

[Title in red ink; body in black ink; the last three lines are in red ink.]

Why do they force me to be this way?
Doesn't matter what I do or what I say
They only want things to end in one way
Make J.C go away and [word overwritten] force Shxdi out to play
You may think they should know by now Shxdi be[crae]
That Shxdi don't play [nice] and has a rather mean way
To [lyrically] that [filet] sauté like an entrée any who may dare to play
Shxdi stay Shxdi is here to stay so stay out of Shxdi's way or make Shxdi's day
Them bars you [—] straight [—] I'll rip out your tongue [—] [line heavily overwritten, runs to the page edge, only partly legible]
You bottom [mug]
I was trying to be nice today [dense small insertion written above this line, only partly legible: "I've already copped an [ope] [—] today but they still do say Shxdi [—]"]
Bring Shxdi out to play ready or not Shxdi on the w[—] [line runs off the page edge]

Bizarro Bizarro

[Black ink.]

Bizarro Bizarro

You've never seen one as bizarre as Bizarro
The cloned [pawn] of my past sorrow
With the hope of my tomorrow

I am who I am but I am not who I was
The same set of lungs still expands but breathing that man no longer does
His name sake is [rung] with an uncomfortable but familiar buzz
All because I am who I am but not what I was
I look the same but looking in the mirror pane looking back someone else does
I'm haunted by memories of someone else's life [reconnect] with static and fuzz
Because I am who I am but I'm not who I was
That man I was before is not me but some of him remains
With his guilt and sorrows lingering like permanent bloodstains
Mixes in with the other from tomorrow that unshakeable hope containing
Jumbles together becoming neither and both within these [—] of brains

Bwess

[Black ink. Several lines run to or off the right page edge.]

Whoops look what [you did] made me flip the switch back to Shxdi
Now I'm about to hit you with some dark shit
Some of that hell hound [bark] shit
That great white shark shit
You overweight can't fly or write [—] bitch [—]
Now you done made yourself a target
You are not hard bitch not even a hard [shit] what do you know about hardship?
But you in cuffs you couldn't even keep a stiff hard [—] in the pen but not hard [—] [runs off page edge]
'Cos you butt bitch probably can't even get a hard dick not even a hard tip:
[I'm] about that A.P. this kid but I don't use a stick in the yard nah I use a yardstick
I'm a child beater delivering a meter of heater to [her] sender with feet [—] broken
Your [peepers] till you be a sleeper [—] won't recognize your features [—] your teachers
Load up all your twenty [—] tragedy it'll do for you [written above the end of the line: "by the time I get through with you"]
You'll be eating food through a tube with a cactus [up] the poop chute with no lube [—] scoop
Oh no you from the C Town? What Cincinnati? Chi-Town Chicago? [—] town?
Cleveland Brown? Pick a town Idc where you are [—] when all over the globe
We are [round] gathered to place you in the ground after we ground you down
Pound till the air is filled with the bone crunching sound
We are the Outcasts we are the MISFITS take you out [—] no [—] [hub]
You can outlast this [shit]

Tay Day

[Black ink.]

I've explained this to you a countless times
I asked you plain not to do this you agreed and lied [yet the —]
Because you're green [like] to be buried under countless rhymes
You [tied] to my Tay and act like that's ok
Like I would have nothing that I would say
Like there would not be a price for you to pay
Well Tay it pains to me do say plans underway
Looks like things are back on for Tay Day [small word written above: "span"]
May day Mayday its a Tay Day I repeat Tay Day [it's] away
Level him where he lay on display as he decay slay Tay

---

Return of the Jedi

[Dark ink.]

Return of the Jedi

[crossed out: the days of [illegible]]
The days of me being a Lord of the Sith
Are now done and they are over with
Took a dark ride on the Dark Side
It was a wild ride many felt my might
But thats done now I've returned to the light
Not saying that Shxdi died that wouldn't be right
But the darkness inside me are fighting and I fight
For what I believe to be right most times I might
Slip up trip up and let [crossed out: illegible] Darth Shxdi out to rip up someone [words unclear at right edge]
That switch still works don't make me go make it flip up

I'm oh why oh why what do I do?

[Dark ink.]

I'm oh why oh why what do I do?
I do what I always do of course I do I think about you
My thoughts always come back to you they always do
I'm such a mess so stressed I'm super stressed who'd guess
I'm thinking of you why is it always you what can I do?
I'm thinking of you I'd love to but I can never do no matter how much I'd love to
To forget about you [words unclear] what can I do to forget you
Why am I still in love with you?
I'm lost in these thoughts of mine lost inside my mind & you're a one of a kind
You used to be mine once upon a time now you are only in my rhyme
No longer mine just in my mind not like once upon a time
I know I have my issues I cry my eyes dry with no tissues
I wish to forget you so [words unclear] I misuse I abuse to no use
In this mind of mine most of the time it is not a fun time [line runs off right edge]
All I do with my time all these spun rhymes even in sunlight its dark there
I never seem to have done right all I do is spun right? This is fun [right?]

Keep up homie can't keep up with me

[Dark ink.]

Keep up homie can't keep up with me
I keep on numbing all my feelings
Numbing all my feelings I keep numbing
Numbing all my feelings I'm becoming
Done dealing with every feeling I'm becoming
The one revealing what you have coming
For all the stealing that you've done from me
For real you best keep on running
I'm becoming what you hear coming
I've been having secret dealings
To take away all my feelings
Becoming a monster my [crossed out: illegible] I'm revealing
Told you to [words unclear] that ass I hack it up & stack it up to the ceiling
This is the face you don't wish to be seeing
This is the face of someone no longer a human being
Hear [the?] bubbling of my potion
Cause a troubling commotion
Jaws here to take you struggling deep in the Ocean
I don't want to feel it why do you steal it
Now this Monsters face I have to reveal it
Here to inflict pain here to make you feel it
Heres the Monsters face let me reveal it
I'm here to take your life away yeah I'm a steal it
Body gone with all the evidence turn to a cold case
You gone already [word unclear] your place
I'm a talk to them see what the case is
See where their place is
[Decide] which of my faces fits the case I'm a man of many faces

Its clear to see I have been the one selected

[Dark ink.]

Its clear to see I have been the one selected
To be the one rejected so the system can be corrected
As if I were the virus that has infected the collective
Despite everything I had inspected like a cyber detective
That deducted the true culprits that injected the poison into what I love and was hyper protective
Of [one?] they redirected the narrative to be imperative to deem it [words unclear]
Hope things will get better in [comparison to] the darkness where they live the death sentence
With no repentance no trials no character witnesses despite the insistence and persistence
Of the many trying to be of assistance forming a stunning resistance in the instance
Of the defenses of my offenses all dismissed in an instant with hearts so distant

On the inside I feel so hollow
I'm on a path that nobody will follow
As I lift others up I continue to fall low
I cling to the dying light as the darkness threatens to swallow
Me whole I try reaching out but does any answer my call? No
I'm in a fight I know I can't win but I still give it my all though
That way things are going don't be surprised if I'm not here tomorrow

Yes I am alone in pain

[Dark ink.]

Yes I am alone in pain
Yes I am fucked in the brain
Yes I am the only in my lane
Yes I am glitch in the code
That will cause the matrix to [overload?]
Prime it up to explode
But know what I'm not a wannabe gangster with an [word unclear]
A fat kid in a [word unclear] to take selfies
I'm not some loser internet troll
Looking like the [words unclear] counting cash roll
If [accounts?] that [word unclear] wants to toss respect around
I'm not some bum trying drum up dumb drama
I'm not some bum spitting some lame game like [T?ma] the llama ([words unclear])
Sitting in the dark trying spark up a snark remark while the next John [words unclear]
Sifting all my shit while writing your own feces to please these weak boys
Smoking so funky [ain't?] showered in weeks developed MRSA and SARS
Covering up both arms from the razor blades leaving scars
Oh my oh no did I take it too far?
I'll be remembered after I die yet while alive no one knows nor cares who you are
Bwess no wess Bless have obsessed an unhealthy mess [crossed out: illegible]
Rotten like a tooth that abscessed you need Jesus boy get blessed

---

Ashes

[Black ink.]

Ashes

Ashes Ashes we all fall down
Crashes Crashes under the waves we'll drown
Lashes Lashes across the back where the whip found

We all from time to time will fall
From heights so tall to near the ground we crawl
Everyone drops the [bell] we all have made the wrong call
And no matter how long we stall Death will come for us all
[crossed out: But before] No matter your hype or all the [generate] buzz
Inevitably it does but until it does

From me

[Black ink.]

From me

I poured everything in to this
Theres nothing left
How was I compensated for this
[By] For my efforts I was treated by theft
I [we] the main objectives done [this] I set to achieve
I helped many, taught some of the next gen my message guaranteed the future
had some who would be pushing to carry writing further than my [history] mark to convince
my name is a [great] for the rest to finally believe.
Do you know I fold when finally getting my long time deserved [fountains]
First I was refused after trying so long then immediately after I grieved
Because I knew this my time was at its end. It was time for me to leave.
I went deep into my depression. I couldn't breathe the fires that had always seethe
just beneath were no longer burning. I was finally coming to accept the [inserted above: Battle] fighting
I've been fighting for so long had ceased there was a piece of me that was [tinted]
because I had to learn the one thing I craved my whole life but never knew. Peace.
Then after day number 3 after figuring how my goodbye was going to be
I logged in [and] what did I see?
It was all stolen from me

Never Does

[Black ink.]

Never Does

Today is just another day
That won't go my way
But Hey that's ok
Because It Never Does
Today is just another day
I bet it doesn't go my way
But Hey that's A ok
Because It Never Does
It Never Does
The only time I wear a frown
is whenever my heart is pumping blood
I been feeling so down below the ground
You'll find me beneath the mud
Clouds so loud you can smell the sound
Whenever I'm puffing my [nugget] bud
Crowds form to inform me I'm not allowed to come around
But keeping me out is like holding back the flood
No matter how much you try to patch it up another hole is found [one word crossed out before "patch"]
Until I decide to bounce and leave the Block I'm here for good
Take a look around they want me to stay
Thing that [I] found funny if they never tried kicking me out I'd already went away
Because I was ready to bounce but then they just had to force their way
And to be honest I'm a rebel who refuses to do as any tries to say
It's just how I am I guess I'm here [where] to disobey [last word partly crossed out]
If you never tried to force me then I wouldn't be here [today]
Because I wanted to leave no I did not want to stay
I never get what I want things just won't go my way
But Hey that's just A Ok
Said Hey that's just A Ok they never go my way
Because it Never Does Never Does Because it Never Does
It won't go my way it Never Does it won't go my way Hey that's A Ok because [line runs off the right edge of the page]
It Never Does Never Does it Never Does
But Hey that's A Ok Because it Never Does

Buffoon. Who Empty Sent

[Black ink. Long prose-style letter in long lines across the page, addressed to Bwess.]

Buffoon. Who Empty Sent

Bwess if I were to guess Emily told you all of this? I'll assume yes
Boy you don't want this issue it'll become quite the mess not worth the
Stress. For you that is I couldn't care less so if you continue to press
And disrespect me the way you have addressed me than you won't like
When my patience gets tested I've never sent any [man] this molested
in any format on this or any other platform at any time nor would I for that
matter. You don't want me wake the Giant and use you as a door mat
To stomp you to the floor flat so change your poor attitude before I
get a 'tude for speaking mad rude that'll get badly chewed from mad
ignorance that he spared because honestly I feel bad for you
because you're clearly getting played for a fool by someone you
think is cool who thinks you're some dumb kid highschool face caused him
drool for him to use a tool to do what he cant pull of on his own
and news that would pull the wool of your eyes to see he's not
that cool and let's not forget the attention would pull the attention
of the higher ups who's new rule says [disses] are not cool and add
him to the pool of the kids to circle out of school.
Ask him for any proof you little goof now begone poof
I'm way to far above your head I don't even see your roof under mine
[crossed out: When the] You don't want this battle so bad it'll end for you that'll send
You back to talk to your dad that'll be so much by now but I gave you the paddle
Now run along if you don't want to be put down like slaughtered cattle
If you want to chat I'll gladly tell you what happened and what made me
the focus of the watch, yes the ignorance you displayed me much light can tell
this day frankly maybe but if not I'm warning you don't make me
go get Shxdi

[At the very bottom of the page: a signature-like flourish at lower left, and at lower right small reversed writing showing through from the other side of the page, appearing to read "Bwess / is / so / [...] / success" — only partly legible.]

---

Cute so you songs out my dongs throat

[Black ink. Only about five lines of writing at the top of the page; the rest of the page is blank apart from show-through. The first line runs to the right edge of the page.]

Cute so you songs out my dongs throat, Good way to see me Go John Wick and back
[Slanted line written up the left margin, ending with a word inserted above the line below:] You make him [?] Slick
Sheet says so there in the words You wrote
Rule of three don't apply to me so lick a [ghote]
Say my name once in the year

---

Well Hello There! My Dear Audience how are you all?

[Black ink. Note: the photo supplied for this page is a full prose page, not a short fragment. Long prose lines across the whole page; no title — headed here by its first line.]

Well Hello There! My Dear [Audience] how are you all? I can feel the tension like [I'd]
you can lay down those pitchforks and torches believe me that's quite unnecessary believe me
on that I truly have no intentions for more chaos and any more fighting as I'm sure
Some of you still have not done figured out the change [sweep] has the Block [got].
And honestly at first it [frustrated] me or frustrated Lil Shxdi more like it but it
dawned on me today what this cleaning up the Block signifies.
Operation Shxdi is now completed and come to an end. Shxdi actually won.
Confused? How is [twice] Burned a Victory? Well simply put I was playing a different
game than all of you including my dear and loyal [Outcasts] to one [Misfits]
You all serve me loyally and faithfully but the war is over guys. Allow me to
elaborate what I'm saying. At the creation of Lil Shxdi the idea [first came] in my
mind when looking at a decade old rhyme of mine called [A Little] Shady
and at the time state of the Block wasn't much different than when I first
came to the Block. The only difference was despite my [words] of a positive
Message with a few meltdowns here and there from the constant disrespect and [a word is crossed out just before "the constant"]
the negativity that permeated every corner of the Block there was no escaping
it. I tried to talk my way through several instances when me [showing] that
nobody will like the outcome of his stay on pushing me to weaponize the [dark] that
part of me but you all thought I was joking. Just because I [was laughing]
doesn't negate that I meant it but despite the warnings you all [kept] joking
and then found a way to [saw] J.C the Villain. No, J.C is the good guy.
And on my 29th Birthday October 24th I decided to show you I wasn't joking
That day I wore all red black and white. My shirt pants shoes and his [crossed out word] [inserted above: Jacket]
was red with black stitching and white accents. My notebook was red my pen was
red and the ink it wrote in was red. I had me a Devil's Night and that
night Lil Shxdi was officially born. The Dawn of Rhymes Block. The moment
the name first appeared I remember the feeling of the humor [?] flowing through me
and immediately started to write some intense stuff unlike before and
I remember being a little scared. Scared of the [turns] of what this move
and it's only been constantly evolving in leaps and bounds and still hasn't [either]
in ability but the Devil [my home] and proving to be far worse than anyone
thought J.C Henley ever [thus]. Shxdi was unstoppable still is. But what
Because like I have always said I [wait] to help everyone Be Better
And I wasn't responsible for Shxdi's actions you all were

---

Well Hello There! (page 2) — Shxdi is a reflection of the torments

[Black ink. Long prose page, continuation of a piece that began "Well Hello There! My Dear Audience." Page is very dense; lines run to the right edge of the page.]

Shxdi8 • reflection of the torments and violent combative behavior
that has [inserted above: been in] [overwritten word] here always long before the Block and Population that
of it but they had damn accepted it. This "Block" was built on lies, seems
[Disregarded?] endless battles that never had a winner because the other side
wouldn't even read their opponents bs so both claimed the win and on and
on and on it went. Everyone was the loudest to [greet?] the Block. Everyone
has a crown actually. Everyone was the Villain. JC wants to Be Better in regard
Shxdi wanted to prove you all he was the Best at Being a Menace The True Villain
that you all made him, bc. And he went to work causing Mayhem in little
ever before and took on everyone and without fail everyone has tried Shxdi to
talk disrespectful quickly found out they couldn't stop him Shxdi he's relentless
to fist and [inserted above: finger wagging and] constantly and one was constantly multiplying at a unreal rate.
He was the damn Devil even the Devils* know once Shxdi hopped in to [buy out / bring out]
beating [more?] was hopeless and the whole time it was driving the entire
Block mad. They, You, began to get fed up and formed a Blood Pact* & [between]
old foes and old friends alike were joining forces to stop Shxdi. How did
well even he threw up the white flag. You all left. And then you all snapped
decided today it take Shxdi out [then?] him a [crossed out: illegible] lawsuit.
So he came back and y'all really broke down because he only played by
everyones elses rules. But you all were done with it all. You all were
ready to finally ready to clean up the Block. To make it Better for anyone
taking out every troublemaker making noise. Yall only needed a true
Villain The [Paul?] of [Rhymes?] Block to [trigger?] the humbling. To Break the Block
You all needed Shxdi to destroy the Block in order to save it.
So [now?] want apologize I'm going to say your welcome. You needed the call
to be the Big Bad to wreck the Block now I ask you to allow me good Guys
Show you how to [inserted above: be / go] with the Block the right way Shxdi showed you
how to be the worst now please allow JC show you how to Be Better.

Banned God

[Black ink.]

Banned God

Nowadays everyone tries to claim to be a Rap God
I [call?] [call?] found these slap gods [inserted above: like to] a [nop nods] Rap gods make me [longer / laugh] god
Yall ain't no damn gods but if you [insist?] then call me the Banned God
You ain't fucking with these writs these quips
You [swift?] [dodge?] [Me?] [inserted / crossed out words] the Slip I'll [lead?] a trip better stay rested [christmas?] up
Your suit [crossed out: illegible] got the Slip like that damn Zod kill fast [?] my damn red
Back from the phantom zone like that damn [?]
Yall better reach for the heavens and make them hands and head bob
leading the [?]teXSIS Like the Book from the Dead. Mob
Take away where the Wild Things are? Who sell rob?
See me coming no way to dodge bout to see a Banned God
Run a turn in ya damn knob so [furia?] call it Ram-Rod.
I'll slime buster ya from the top out the case and [slam-bad / jlam-bad]
The power flows from within its innate to end Note I'm the [Saved?] Son
I am and I give no damn of what drink is in your hand understand
I'm the master that masterminded this [master-] plan like only the [Undertaker?] can
I'll [blest?] a ban faster than cast the ban
Yall never writ shit that can get it lit [undermars?] it get lit (underwear
underwear.)
I come with wit and a [?] stick you can't stomach it like you some a [?] ukelele
Ya turn chicken shit like [?] ate a drumstick or a damn door Quick
As I become some sick evil wicked shit with this pen when I get to [clicking?] it
Like I'm on some wicked shit you on same window looking still
Do the snozberries taste like snozberries? I bet them [Saurs?] scare
when they saw my sharp ready to saw berries off [?] hairies
little soft turkles

---

without Teddy Bear

[Black ink. Title centered at the top of the page, written "without Teddy Bear." Many small words are inserted above the lines; those insertions are shown in brackets.]

I don't ever get what I want [inserted/continued on the same line:] I [starve] fed just to make sure I can feed
I barely get what I need By [fasting — word partly overwritten]
If I ever do it won't be for long or as I thought
It's pretty much guarantee to end bad for me
Anything good for me comes with a cost
Whatever I get is Never better than whats lost
Something I can't [inserted above: or] forget forever burned [written above: my heart in Roast] within
Things the [times] that haunt my dreams so I go until I fully exhaust
The things I get never last made of glass and it [brakes] refuses a broken past
Long ago Passed
All this left is shell smoked Completely Empty Except for the ghosts to forever tell
Mean that I lost [inserted above: at] how low I fell or how happy I was now an empty well
As is How I find myself living in Hell.
I try to shout at the top of my lungs I try to tell
All that I can tell that can hear is Teddy Bear wagging his tail
Atleast so far he's doing well
The only reason with all my [word scribbled out] [such]
Once he's gone I will be as well
The only thing that stops me now is picturing how he'd feel if someone tried to tell
His Daddy isn't well and [sharing] fell to his [knees] that somebody dwell
That somebody has to take time to make sure he's well
The thought of him not understanding Someone Else will [inserted above: be] Shudders in handling him
Over No longer having the one person who was [crossed out word] [inserted above: there] him, never where I went when [my] [Countries]
Upstairs that he Just Saw me eye open blank stare Just hanging there
No longer [word overwritten] just swaying no longer saying [inserted above:] "Whats up there Teddy Bear?"

---

I don't know how things are ran over there

[Black ink. Untitled. A "9" is written at the bottom left of the page.]

I don't know how things are ran over there
But the way it's ran over here I try to be fair
Keep things easy breezy all open air
But when I decide to speak or share
I expect an open ear and to be [received] Loud and clear
especially when cranky & Vastly don't act like you didn't hear
That I fear conversely gonna gun and your shot on this [town] here [line runs to the right edge; written smaller underneath at the edge:] you flee your fear [?] running may appear

That sun there sure is getting pretty low
The Beast in side sluggish moving kinda slow
How much more can this anger really go
To be honest I don't really know although
That sun there really is getting pretty low
The way this sunset looks to be [flaring] out reminds me of the one long ago
The one time I was [showed]
Does this mean this is it I'm about to [be at] the end of the road
Does this mean I can [be relieved] of this burden I have [toted]
Can I finally rest and pass on this [human] heart
Can I finally be forgiven and cleansed [of] what is owed
Have I paid back [everything] for the time borrowed
Will I [drown] at the heavens never to see tomorrow
Finally at peace and heal my sorrow
I don't know but that sun is getting Pretty Low
The Beast is sluggish moving really slow moving too slow
Looks like the rage has gone as far as it can go
The Beast stumbles trying to not let go laying there
The Beast falls laying there heart beat beginning to Slow
Eyes to the horizon with the final breath it lets go
Says "That sun there sure is getting Pretty Slow

I don't want to fight I'm running out of fuel tank is on empty

[Black ink. Untitled.]

I don't want to fight I'm running out of fuel tank is on empty
I'm losing sight I'm succumbing to [the pull] the dark so tempting
How much longer can I write I must fight or I won't make the night
Why do people

I'm not doing what I do just chasing [thrills]
What I'm trying to do is forget about you hoping these memories killed
By getting high to get them too [calm it] but they're here still
If this won't kill them then what will
Why do I remember you still when I bet you [never] will remember me
I'm nothing not even a footnote you're my whole history
You probably don't [even] remember my face yours I can sketch [words written above the line at the right:] I still remember her now [?] her [?] fall in place
Whenever I'd use my finger to trace the softness of your lips I even remember the taste

### It's a nice day

[Second short section, lower on the same page.]

It's a nice day for my skin shedding to let the demon within begin to sin
It's a nice day for some blood shedding to let the beast drink [?] let its teeth sink in ["begin" written above "sink in"]
Let's spice up the day and play
Life in the fast lane like a [molotov] flame in the gas tank aim to get ya ass a shank

Black Air Force Energy

[Black ink. First of two pieces on this page; titled by its first line. The first line wraps up to the top right of the page.]

Black Air Force Energy lack remorse for an enemy here to force my inner G
I'm [about] to lash out like a [D1] Crashout reducing foes to an ash cloud
Move that ass pass out like I just [whipped out] my stash at gas out
Yeah this boy is crazy huh this boy ain't very Swayze Bitch I'm J.C I'm [twisted]
I'll roast you till you toast crispy ghost burnt Swayze
Slaughterin men children and your lady this is [crossed out: street] [inserted above: Just how the work make me]
But you never fade me though you played me thought be Swayze me
Didn't even face me [deuce] me [?] shot would even graze me
This isn't GTA you couldn't waste me putting [?] has [remained] a bitch [?]
Top of the list of public enemies they placed me twice banned twice [?]
Back again feel the backhand when my [smooth] hand told you how to [?] and
Black Air Force Energy certified D1 Crashout
[I'm] the elevator I'm the [?] take a trip to heck on my personal elevator
I'm the decimator tell me who is greater him Lil [Vader] and I'll [kill] the hater

### I am tred of being tred

[Second piece on the same page.]

I am tred of [being] tred

I'm the eliminator of an insolent insignificant [wimp] sitting in the incinerator
When I put pen to paper I'm the translator of who's [pen's] greater by fruits [?] monkey
Fuckin flunky I'm junkie you fucker I'm the pen grader
I'm the [cannibal] son of god eating a [?] for dinner excuse me waiter I'm not [?] when
waiter patience gettin thinner wanna bet who's the winner? I'm an expert you're a beginner
You're just a bitch made instigator about to hit you with a deathroll like [?] up
against a gator you're just another Hater I'm the Holy Trinity Number 3 The Intimidator
Saying you got upset over deleted comments no [?] her [?] on fire it's because
I pissed her off and I [?] like [?] and wanted to date her

Lil Shxdi: "well what did you expect?"

[Black ink. Short dialogue at the top of the page; the rest of the page is faint show-through from the next page and is not transcribed.]

Lil Shxdi: "well what did you expect?"
J.C: "Expect? I didn't expect anything. I never do... I hoped."
Lil Shxdi: "That right there is where your problem lies"
J.C: "I know."
Lil Shxdi: "I'm not trying to be a dick but you know better than anyone
That we never get our way. We never get what we want."
Jc [written in the margin]: "If you want to go hoping for shit hope we hurry up and finish
up what we have left to do so we can finally get the Fuck out of this hell hole" [line runs off the right edge]
Lil Shxdi and J.C together: "Together we are on this path to Fate we share.
To abandon or deviate from its cause we wouldn't dare
To the destination we are well aware and the location we know where
It is how it ends we swear. We are almost there!"

I'm only on this planet walking around still despite

[Black ink. Long prose page, written line to line; the page ends mid-sentence.]

I'm only on this planet walking around still despite
how much I don't want to be and at this rate won't be
very much longer. It is because I don't just want to but I
have to help as many as I can any way I can as long as they
are willing to help themselves and better their situation in anyway
by any means. That doesn't mean I'm going to [act] nice and kiss anyone's
ass and let them walk all over me. No, I'm here to make [all of] you
Be Better. Not all of you require the same way of [achieving] that
although being kind [compassionate] and open minded and respectful
That's how I was raised to be by the best person I ever knew and
I really really REALLY try my best to do right by her memory
and lessons to really [save] me from the darkness that I often display
Without her the world would much [be] darker than it already
is today. I mean that in all seriousness I would have been even worse
than the darkest and horrible monsters you seen me write about.
[I know] you think I'm crazy as is. You're not wrong, but try to
imagine how crazy I'd be if I didn't waste so much time
trying to help all of you. If I held no intention to helping
everything would be focused on hurting. I'm very good at hurting others
I'm a healer by my desire to do good. Because I want to and try to.
By nature I'm a destroyer. It requires no effort. One of the things I don't [try]
I just do. No thoughts required. And I mean really hard. Not just my
[?] delicate feelings. Not just others and have snappy put downs
like a professional shit talker, although I am great at that. I mean
actually physically hurting people. I'm great at throwing hands
with several people who were asleep before they hit the ground
with nearly all directly [over] me in height. Yes I'm a short [king]
But a deadly king. I'm [?] and white so [people] underestimate me
and I'm so fast I make fast people look not fast. I'm not talking
[on myself] but when adrenaline and reflex and survival/Destruction
instincts take over everything and everyone slows down from my
perspective like time slows down to a crawl. To others I move
so fast they say I am a blur to some it's like I'm flash stepping
and it's not because of me I [vanish] by the [?]

[In the left margin beside the lines "imagine how crazy I'd be..." / "trying to help all of you": "Continuous"]

---

Sixth batch — sent Thursday, October 22, 2026

Jennie sent a sixth batch of pages while checking the collection against the notebook ("Do we have this"), then kept going — 49 spiral-notebook pages in the first burst, followed by loose yellow-paper pages. Transcribed the same day, in the order sent. Bracketed words mark readings that could not be confirmed from the handwriting. This batch is heavy with the Shxdi material and the writing community he calls "the Block," and includes two versions of "It's Not A Game," the "SUPREME" acrostic page (Survivor Under Pressure Rise Everyday Achieve Miracles), and a concrete poem built from the words Fall / Down / None / Help / Please.

It's Not A Game

*Black ink. Very dense page with many small words inserted above the lines and several cross-outs; some lines run together without spaces. The writing fills the top two-thirds of the page; the bottom right corner is folded over with a few illegible reversed words on the fold.*

To this I am devoted to in my entirety through and through you can see the motive has [?]
[There's] quite a few who chose it that aspired to be viewed

To many this is all just games of a great variety
Played by those inspired to try to imitate who they aspire to be
I don't shy I never chose [how is] in which to be its inmate from the fire inside of me
It's not just a hobby or pastime [it only] rhymes when fate allows me to play when I look at me
I've invested my whole life into this [crossed out] takes the soul at such a high rate it
[Endures] my name from my fate will my stance garnish
My pen bested so many despite all the music I create guess I just irritate by my [?]
I carry weight but sit-back so [?] like a heavyweight so my name [crossed out]
they try to use their lies allegations and assumed allegations to tarnish
So I [crossed out] I'll melt
I'll take my oppositions rotting corpses and have them melted and mixed together
like a goopy human goo to use a fresh coat of varnish
In a way it's like I am turning the negative to a positive by healing from the damage
Finding and forging a treasure from scraps found in the garbage
Of human remains of [one] slayed [by blade] during the 8th crusade wiped out cartilage

---

Jugs

*Black ink, two sections on one page. A line in red ink is written above the first section ("how I move in I move to smooth over [?]"), with another faint red word below it.*

Why do they try to test me?
Do they still think they can [outlast?] me?
Surely they know by now they can't best me
Most can barely even interest me even when resting
As I [sleep] phone [in] my hands on my chest eyes closed thumbs just texting
The most interesting part of [that] him [is the] flexing I'm not even jesting
Most these lames asses I can see without magnifying glasses

We did nothing but try to help you
I personally did my best to protect you
All because I felt sorry for you [truly]
Offered my team to help support and ease your mind
Then [shit] south with you and [Ben]
So I tried to step in between to intervene
Tried to squash it just me you him and I
Then you deemed to even [?] hearing me otherwise
Even then I offered a special position to you all the [?] and remain outside
To help you I really tried but

---

It's Not A Game

*Black ink. Sparse second page with the same title: the title, one line, then two more lines after a gap. The rest of the page is blank apart from heavy show-through from the reverse side.*

To this I am devoted to in my entirety through [?]

Some day some week will come the day done with the play
The lame in this game do or say who claim

---

If they aim is to play dirty

*Red ink, no title. Two blocks: a six-line verse near the top of the page and a shorter block lower down, with heavy show-through between them. A word below the first block ("Peace"?) is crossed out.*

If they aim is to play dirty I suggest they stay away they can't afford to pay the [ways?]
Left unclaimed on layaway take your best shot spray away
Take the fake away they not solid with the way they flake away
Probably be the way they made today so fast they break away
On the fast break can't convert and [make the play?]
[crossed out: Peace?]

Time after time Rhyme after Rhyme Crime after crime
[?] rhyme make [?]
[One?] rhyme-imperfect rhyme example here have
head rhyme use at same consonant at beginnings of each stressed syllable in a line
[?] psychology-utter disorder
[?] line music with [?] and melody
[?] — a leader [?] lecturer

---

Here I am here I sit

*Black ink, no title. Four blocks of verse separated by gaps, filling most of the page.*

Here I am here I sit thinking about life while I shit
Writing as I breathe in the reek of it and that I speak of it
Most of you are so full of it when you open your mouths you leak of shit
wish I

The game is in need of a makeover
Through flame [and] shame I just may take over
I aim for their heads my battle to break over
Before the day over on my way over top flight has a lay over
I stop fights when I drop rights and some left then left dropped right there is here they dared to [?] please
get [scared?] by a life [?] to the ER extended stay over
[Until?] when you finally wake up see their posture and ask "who is it?"
If I [?]

If it's greatness you seek take a peek at [Jasezz] and [Shxdi] incredibly
I react and unique together hence we [?] with words we speak to heat for the manic
Out of our dark twisted brains insane in pain and Black thoughts we keep [picking] a heart [?]
We unbind straight explode on that beat rode till the end of the road
Think you can keep up you trippin like you like the funky Toad
Just know your [?] broken down [?] Towed [?] saved [?] low no

In our path of war we tore through on our tour more than a few girls [gave and shoved?]
Not trying to be crude or rude just [?] I'm trying to include to be [?] tales I retold
When interviewed with a [deer or] mountain view only recently sinner ever knew
From artists devastation and isolation brought to creation here an [?] Congregation
To conquer nations by idolization separation isolation with temptations of craving or sensations
Composure to mental stimulation bouncing with pixelated simulation technology [?]

---

When the battle is over

*Black ink. Two short blocks separated by a wide gap; the rest of the page is blank apart from show-through.*

When the battle is over the war was won no matter what result
I'm the general overcome for the one who was at fault by default

Tried to trim me out like a hangnail but I'm an uncommon crazy oddity [awareness]
They act tough and ready to [scare] but not ready for threat but dare start [somewhere?]
I'm not sure you're aware [of] trying to seize what where earth leave nut
So fuck be our than words have take them with a closed hand and shove up their butt

---

Fall Down — None to Help — Please

*Black ink. A visual/concrete poem built only from the words Fall, Down, None, to, Help, Me, Back, up and Please. At the top, "I Fall" opens a loose cluster of Falls that thins out downward into Downs; the words then drift down the right side as a cascade of Nones and tos; lower left, a small block of Help / Me lines; along the bottom, the words form a grid of short columns that builds row by row into "Back up Help Me," with a matching column of Pleases at the right edge.*

```
I Fall Fall Fall
Fall Fall Fall Fall
Fall Fall

Down
Down Down
Down Down Down
Down Down

None
None none
None none
to
To to to
to
To

Help
Help Help Help
Help Me me
Help me Me

Back Back Please Please please
Back up Help Me Please Please Please
Back Back up up Help Me please Please Plaz
Back up up up Help Me
Back up up Help Help Me Me [?] Please Please
```

---

I'm told I should improve how I move

*Red ink, no title. Dense lines filling the top half of the page, several words run together.*

I'm told I should improve how I move in I move to smooth over the truth
Accept the youth are too sacred to punish so we need to shelter them and soothe
All in order to help the way that I am viewed instead of being rude lewd and crude
With a devil may care fuse to be seen as clean serene pristine to not be mean
and whatever they do I'd never sent anything obscene!
Fuck that Fuck you Fuck the [?] are the whole team behind the scenes pulling the strings
For whom the Bell tolls for in their cell as it rings
My pen too escapes to where very few ever [bunt?]
I send the [?] rhymes to burn your [?] down why the frown? A sad little clown
Rather [if] I had you drown?
I deliver [?] your liver for dinner I may be a sinner but [?] apology is best
I don't care who forgives me or gives me judging glances odds I'm budging chances
looking negative and [?] more likely instead to give more hell for the snot nosed kids [?] I'll pop their lips
like [?] of delayed STDs displayed before their eyeballs [as] I send the [?] on a [?] database
Try me and more to set
Because without hesitation brings your imagination utter devastation annihilating
with completions of brainwashing retaliation

---

On His Head

*Black ink. The title is written "On the Head" with "His" inserted above it. Dense lines with insertions above several lines; the piece is a diss aimed at "Sped" / "Speddy" / "Mr. Bad Boy Sped."*

Watch this as I drop this on the what? Drop this on the what?
On the Head on the on the Head Drop it on the Head the Head Drop upon the Head
Watch this as I drop it on the head over and over no stops I'll [?]
This train been over fed thanks his special like special [?] this train is a SPED
He don't just wet it this SPED done shit the bed don't get mad at it [?] his mom was [?]
For [?] it's a baby and [?] on his head now the [?] is perfectly brain dead
You sure want Speddy said it was hard to get it read just dirty go in too [?]
It makes about as much sense as trying to untoast bread or giving a baby to the [?] it has no sense [?]
Or a Crip member saying his favorite color is Red or any today at the bullshit Empty [?]
about Positivity is the only thing that he tries to spread having all ya'll partly misled
Now back to Mr. Bad Boy Sped I know a few pics of my good [kid?] [?] you'll be [?]
In [?] based on the [?] of banishment that has previously so grievously [?] and [?]
[turn?] in to the Feds lookin crazy like I'm off my meds (I was never on them) thanks Spedy
I thought you were cool thought you were a brose a Beanie or do you prefer Joseph? [?]
Thoughts we were gelling had me buying the bullshit you were selling
But now I see through the lies that you're telling and you'll feel the rounds we are shelling
No advil will reduce the swelling no sweet kind words [?] what I'm smelling
When I drop this no pen can stop this this mess you can't mop this when I [?] this [?] really biology

---

I'm not a hero

*[Note: Black ink, full page, two sections. The first is a long verse built on "I'm not a hero"; a word in the first line is crossed out with "lied to me" written above it. The name "Daniel" is written small at the lower right of the last line of the first section. After a gap, a second section begins ("These are the words that's Nathaniels"); its last six lines are in a much rougher, faster hand and are only partly legible.]*

I rather it you hadn't tried [crossed out: to hide] lied to me I write this down inside trying to [overk?] free
I'm not a hero no I'm no hero I'm just fighting for the good side this time
I'm not a hero thats a truth that is not mine
I'm no hero Next time I might be on the other side of that line
What is a hero? That term may need to be redefined If you dont mind
I wish I was a hero but thats not how I was designed
According to my programming that option I was declined
So now oftentimes go in alot of my rhymes you may find
There's the heros and on the opposite side you'll see me [aligned] as I was assigned
The villiens took control of my heart and used it to corrupt my mind
You don't understand for how long [?] so many times that I've tried return to the good side
How there access I've fought to be denied but its too late they came a way [?] inside
They manipulated they lies with their intentions they cleverly hide my programming can't be [edited]
I'm [no other?] I'm not a Hero please you must understand I made my stand
and I fell into their [hands] now their demands has become my [command]
I'm No Hero I'm not a hero You Can't save me No Hero can when they defeated me
They deleted me when offline after I rebooted [?] online I'd been reprogrammed
Now both in my home land and across the seas So many atrocities death by wound head marks [?]

These are the words that's Nathaniels
Entire dumb dump share rhymes that blew more frames OK her Stormy Daniels
Firing off at the mouth like half braindead yapping ass Gecko Daniels
[crossed out] A lot of peoples alleged habits call by people addicts but you can't lay off [?] take a day off for Jack Daniels
Calling yourself Jihad
Keep at it I'll make you see God
Go [check?] Get got the headshot shit spoken like an [?] but its a [?] shit from the [?] [?]
Get it? or bow too dim lit you chat with taverns alot of shit with they bars thanks then [?] the gadget
[margin: Them WH?] Them yet Them [?] Nah doing them shit then two bit that bought whole for poo shit [?] beneath
They're [gussing?] [?] weak sauce they burnt do shit in a battle other then lose It
All this ghetto this ghetto that boy go to the ghetto will get yo [pitted?] Splat
Go to the ghetto get slapped get capped get shit jacked [?] [?] shall [?] this stupid
Shit people ass tapped out ripple [?] book ass [?] wrapped cold case stacked [?] as
Cat of Beanles~ there keep standing shit say by his starting shit price that makes [?] work

---

One Day

*Black ink. One block of eight lines at the top of the page; the rest of the page is blank apart from show-through.*

One Day Maybe One Day One Day Maybe One Day One Day Maybe Maybe One Day
Maybe One Day I will finally feel OK some way One way Someday Maybe One Day
It's hard to say maybe One pay I'll just go away I hope and pray things won't go [that] way
I [hope and] pray I will be OK that I'll find a way Somehow Some way anyway anyway to do or say
Doesn't change the way I feel today the same way I felt yesterday honestly any day Everyday
Really I always seem to feel this way that I feel as if I'm inside my coffin just kicking as I [?]
Slowly decay as I pay for the way I was back in the day like I'm on layaway I hope to get it [all?] back one day
Who can say

---

Especially when I try to organize it

*[Note: Black ink. Only four long lines at the top of the page; the rest of the page is faint show-through from the reverse side. Several words are squeezed and overlapping.]*

Especially when I tried to organize It while [you just?] see eye to eye when I didn't notice
that low and back I tried to bring home [are] release the [block?] and why reflect you refused to squash It
[Duane?] still doesn't know what caused it to all be won actually and this [?] is [?] [?]
So if you want to get it we can get it but better come with it step your [?] up Just come with it

---

So Empty

*[Note: Black ink, dense full page, a diss aimed at "Empty Myth." Many insertions and cross-outs; a few words at line ends are written in red ink ("you" at the end of the "Empty Myth" line, and the end of the "Dark Knight Rises" line). "real" is written above the "Your threats are hollow rumors" line, and "as" above a line near the bottom.]*

So Empty

Your words ain't even I've had it with this two bit [?] [?] within pass at loud tricks
This is just shallow such a fake [?] this thinking was in the cult of Toppa about the [?]
Its clear you're a fan of Ant-man with the way you're a quote repeater
You're so fake pretend to be nice and friendly unless you're [?] shallow
I tried to stop folks this still chant I'm addicted to towering this [?] call it my bad habit
Empty Empty you're words are so Empty [?] not push round play in [?] hunter [?]13
Not goin to give any damns [crossed out: ?] try your fingers nothing like Yosemite Sam
I'll tell you where you can take your opinions and stick it
Even an ugly [panther] bitch I might feel bad [?] your ass if I kick it
Oh Shit! It's officer Pastry here to give my ass a ticket
Empty Myth if we were ever meet in person I'd [find] the white dog shit [?] make you lick it
Only thing I wish to hear from you is crickets you get more [?] actually
Thinking them double time Rhymes are the shit think to yourself "Yeah I'm empty [?]"
I wish you went to see Dark Knight Rises when it premiered in theatres
Oh no thats outta control, outta con-trol, troll, troll, troll
Tried to [work] ya I'm a asshole ass-hole, hole, hole, hole
I guess I'm outta control outta outta control I'm outta control
Why yes I'm outta control and yes perfect you're a shitty asshole and [?] up the last roll
I'm who you love to Hate My plan could not wait so you could celebrate [crossed out: ?]
You could not [crossed out] take what I state Are you so shook [?] like a shake weight
Straight out the gate blown up like a booby trap that you want me detonate
When you stepped up to the plate struck out with my pitchin thats too great
Hate you all bitchily but was too little [?] late not my fault leave it up to fate
Oh no am I being a meanie? You gonna call me a weenie?
You probably dress in a [mini] bikini maybe a weenie disappear like houdini
[From] swimming surroundings it [look] like a [?] man thing Not one but so many
Your threats are hollow rumors to tempt me with
Any more but I'll start calling bi- Empty Myth
Who acts like a womanizer but only likes [?] with dicks [?] plenty [?] him
So he can take his pussy Dusty ass tgo crossdressing with [?] for dick to lick
Such a fake ass snake probably thinks the winner way Drake
Had about as much of that hypocrite that I can [fucking] take
[?] hit the brakes one beat when think he breaks that heart stop silly [?] [?] safety
Get [chopped?] [?] next one body dropped asleep like you went camping at Camp Crystal Lake

---

So Empty (continued)

*[Note: Red ink for the top section, then black ink; the rest of the page is show-through. Continues the "So Empty" piece. Insertions above lines include "try to dunk off," "when I," and "the bitter and [?]."]*

Who wants [ones] why play In hand is can out
Got they punk assy [?] like a [?] they plainly out
Think they hot shots big littles Master Blasters that they got
No They Not
They not hitting potentials put on the spot Running out the time on the [Sud] & clock
Cant afford this disaster scene to take a stand Shot pump not [?] try to dunk off they break away faster [?]
I'm quick I'll pick off the [?] Pen in my hand like a stick go click [?] I'm sick fact
They can lick a dick and suck sack Try to Ask me get Clocked back
Get click clack creep in the back Drop an attack retreat out and fall back tell your boys to fall back
Or all end up in a Tall stack

This one's gonna hurt how I do you put [you] in the dirt got me seeing red like bloody
Such how my pen get to work joins in [spill it] Guts how it goes Bezerk
I don't give a fuck you gun get fucked [or] gun tucked razors will get knocked like
Again I cut shit up so shut it up put it up Strut it Yuh I'm like Norman Bates even
Seen a psycho I'm a nut int yuh

---

I'm outta control

*[Note: Black ink. Only seven lines at the top of the page; the rest is show-through from the reverse side. At the top right, the word "Benefit" shows through in reverse from the next page.]*

I'm outta control outta outta control I'm outta control
And you're a shitty asshole a shitty shitty asshole
I just used the rest of last roll I'm just so outta control
I'm a [masterless] of my craft I know my role
You like [massive ass] shafts to go in your whole whole
One [prez?] [?] whole you're an massive asshole
I guess I'm just way too outta control

---

Benafit

*[Note: Black ink, full page. Most words are joined with hyphens, as written. The title is written "Benafit." Several cross-outs and words written above lines ("with," "Question," "try to").]*

Benafit

Nowadays when I pick my pen up and spin with it sometimes turns lit and [?]
I can only win with it but when certain People catch wind of it puts them in a [?] [?]
They say I'm [crossed out] out of control degenerate that they cannot ten-per-mit what my [?]
Say I'm just attention seeking and they are sick-of-it gonna put an-end-to-it or putting [?] in a-[?]
But they don't get I don't do this for my own ben-i-fit it's quite the opposite
I do this for those on the ledge about to jump off of it by their own opinions to Officer-it
To show them a light because I know how dark-it-gets in life and how hard-it-is to even give a shit
To keep going with all-of-this and want-to-quit and end-all-of-it who don't want to live
When none want-to-give acknowledgement or tolerance whose days are spent [in?] abandonment
Living in pain this mind just needs a mind that gives empathy at the lives-they-live
To understand what-it-is what the problem is in the life that's bottom-less impossible to get out of it
I do this to show that-it-is and to show them how-to-get through it and out-of-it and that the [?]
To guide them through the dark tunnel to the light at the end-of-it to push through the thickness-of-it
That it-will-get better eventually I promise-it show them to love the life-they-live it's worth the chance [?]
To continue to improve for their own betterment hopefully leading to their thinking better-start
Through the journey they-just-want sometimes you must just want something they might forgive
Me for going against better judgement nobody is perfect in their lives [?] live
So no need for imposing self punishment or exclusion for banishment
So when the pen-is-lit please everyone stop trying to question the words I spin-with-it
Cause even when you try to put an end-to-it no matter how bad it gets you [?] for
Because it's bigger than you and me because it's for the betterment of the people's benefit

---

The Upgrade Pt2

*[Note: Black ink. Only six lines at the top of the page; the rest is heavy show-through from the reverse side, including some red ink at the top right.]*

The Upgrade Pt2

When Idols turn into Rivals fighting for survival than they idle upon arrival
Than feel entitled clinging for dear life trying to win titles Right on the Bible
Try to pull back [currishy] times I see the tides when rage unbridled
Marriage to the game but that game is a recital Shaven of the Bridal
You had a legendary run well played Deserve to well paid but every great [union ends] false
Yours became unmade when you turn to [?] Then she say "Ready for the Upgrade?"

---

Isosceles

*[Note: Black ink, dense full page. The title is written "Isos celes." "got em" is written in the left margin beside one line, and a sideways margin note ("Try to peek at these") sits beside the "Left hand" line. "hypocrisies" is written above a crossed-out word; "seeking" is written above its line; a long line is underlined/crossed below the "Rocked with those" verse. The last two red words of the "Rocked" line and the word "smokey" at the right of a later line are in red ink.]*

Isosceles

When I get going
Pen [?] to slowing
Then its [1st] flame throwing Game seeing aim slowing
That I'm never slowing just keep on moving brain growing
[margin: got em] Stepping around me like they checkin the water temperature
They're tip-toe-in Easy goes it now know the cliff goin
Because stupid goin in so damn hard
No soul can hold me I'm the man none can guard
I'll take on your whole army and the fucking vanguard
Mountains of corpses buried in my damn yard
So many spirits Might see a spirit when near it might even hear it.
Be inside doors locked before lights out gets not so nice out it ain't a [?] in my
Won't like nights [do] them or but grim and scary
Maybe has something to do with my house [?] built on a pet Semetary
Oh Golly Walle how does JC get through it how can he survive?
I dont know probably cause he may see [?] to do and just bit screamin "Johnny Five is alive!!"
Check the price of these bars changed such a High cost of these I sauce on these
Try angle your [?] to stay on top of me please how acute [?] I can [?] get [?] up [?]
Try to write it right but no [one] agrees how I call it Isosceles
These creatively written atrocities fuck the hypocrisies
Left hand or Right hand either or you'll get rocked with those
Rocked with those Rocked to sleep keep stock of keep or get [?] into everything Sheer [?]
Oh No he said he doesn't respond anymore He said "Bore" [?] to show more
Stupid [?] going on "L" Empty Myth come get fed More [?] get graphic Quick [Stephany?] to [?]
Watch a magic trick turn an attention seeking virtue signalling Pop Tart into a dead whore
Hold it with [lay] and your facts my bottom floor is a back [?] Satan's door
I'll leave you and that [?] hit in an four bucks percent hang in a war put down [?]
When I'm dropping I'm popping how I'm chopping sure as hell pissing off the Lords

Duhny Ouhs — Ideas
Euney Town — Hungry Like the Wolf — Runnin with the Devil

---

Some one once told me

*[Note: Three lines in black ink at the top, then two lines in red ink; the rest of the page is show-through. "more" is written above the end of the first line, and "name" above a crossed-out word at the end of the second.]*

Some one once told me the word would Once [?] me
Into how it wants me or it will fold me up in my grave throw me
Maybe that would work on the old me but nowadays he clearly [?] me

Chosen [Outcasts] here to out blast my doubt cost want to get the smoke
So bout fire back smoke stack [?] you can be Jack the [?] AK [?] is lots of [?] out [?]

---

People love to think they understand my motives

*[Note: Black ink prose at the top of the page, then a second titled section, "Strange Observation," in prose; the last four lines of the page are in reddish-purple ink. A word is crossed out in the "inside looking out" sentence.]*

People love to think they understand my motives and reasonings, I used to find it amusing Used to.
I now hold negative feelings when someone takes a stab at it because of two much
reasons. I find it disappointing that so many people are so wrong about me especially
all they would need to do is just listen I'm pretty open about my motives and reasons
and will always be honest with the way I answer questions. The parts that I'm far
more private with and covert about are the answers to how and my methods to reach my why's

Strange Observation:

So as an incoming storm was brewing I watched with curious fascination as a very light
sprinkling rain fell and nearly nonstop low rumbling of thunder sounded like the stadium
building up drumroll of The Gods gladly working its way to a crescendo at the
same time The entire sky as far as my eyes could see was flashing with the [?]
but the most peculiar part about it as I stood watching for a few minutes I did not
see a single bolt of lightning dancing across the sky just the entire sky itself in full
on strobe effect nonstop flashing. I couldn't help but thinking to myself it seemed as if
I was on the inside looking out of a flickering light bulb that was fighting against
The inevitable Darkness at the end of its lifecycle in the last few moments it has left
before finally burning out going dark its final and permanent time. It was strangely beautiful,
Strangely unnerving, strangely inspiring of introspective thoughts and thoughts that help me to
questioning the reality and big picture. Very strange observation speaking of [?] and strangely [?]
I'm not going dive into what that one very dark very large cloud that made the other
still big as well cloud that seemed to be the brightest [?] during the flashes look so small
in comparison to the giant dark cloud that looked like something [?] night with the [?]
nor will I elaborate what this "Darkness that is a cloud." appears to be doing [?]
This strobe light ominous [?] swirls of [?] Metro on the drums type of [?]
Nope not going to talk about any of that I plan on getting in my bed
with Ted Bear [crossed out: ?] Doggo and cuddle him while I try to sleep faster
of [?] wherever those thoughts tend to because like "fuck that

---

Star in every Karen thats starin while swervin

*[Note: Black ink. Several verse sections separated by blank lines. Faint show-through from the following page across the lower half; the bottom of the page is show-through only.]*

Star in every Karen thats starin while swervin like its game on [?]
anywhere in
We not the same so aint will that comparin I'm a titan after with with my foresight in
this shit is so exactly let me envision I've a bright fusion of lightnin swervin this shit written by EA[?]
So humbling near the groundings of the stumbling trunking world crumblin income by the Rumbling [?] B an [?]

At times in my rhymes I tend to get more nutty than a Nutter Butters o
My mind be in the gutter buddy I teach to offend me more slutty kinds when I utter that st-st-stutter flow
Oh no oh Lord tell the cord I struck a chord lyrical swore that hoe screamin I cut her bitchin neck I don't give a fuck when a

Just think what kinda disaster would be with me runnin [?] around with my massive [cooly?]
Dont be jealousy Please like my style of Wrigley till I get all wiggly and giggly
goofy Just huff and puff my tickly stink till I sing like Jigglypuff my ass fast [?]
Do the world a solve and frolic my tail thereafter followed by a ball lick a
A so haven't a cataclysmic catastrophe don't be a tease actor all I just say please
Show me why they say that mouth is a remarkable not just a pixelate chaotic hootenanny [?]

Funny how people are just now moving past the alt accounts now ready to pounce
[?] those accusers of using this, I wonder if any of you know honestly you all look
new if you do say [?]! Do I really need to say why? Because way back in a much
greener rookie day I began the rise that rise and arrived the way I am [?] its say my
Name in the game by buffer lanes like poetic Justice

Bitches be bitchin about our bitches bein bitches that bitch at that bitch for bitchin about them bitches
So many dumb bitches bein bitchin bitches what a bitch

---

Nowadays things are just not the same

*[Note: Black ink prose at the top (the last two lines run into red ink), then a short note in red, then a heading "Ai" and a verse in a smaller hand. A column of rough notes runs down the left margin beside the verse. Insertions written above lines throughout.]*

Nowadays [inserted: things] are just not the same as they were before In the days [when are?]
Back in the days when I was using a different name back before nobody was nowhere [?]
Back when DJ the Dark 1 and I met [?] tournament of Trip J
Before [inserted: sure] I knew Steele and [?] before this; boss, and [?] ruined the game
where the aim was on the bars your brain can frame so hot in off [?] in [June?]
Back then Shxdi went by a different name matter of fact when
First arriving to the Block this may shock [crossed out: Shxdi after] J.C and DJ Shine
were enemies before the Duo of Shxsh and The Dark 1 became the biggest manners in
the genre wish we could go back than my Dark friend from the days
[in red:] Damn what a shame I have a bruising brain was using it as I'm mostly [?] different
Cruising down the sidewalk thinkings Us turn his tune when a [?] that has
a burning palms and morning feelings from luck dreams my brain cant erase
They love to hate me, some reason they don't like that they cant intimidate me
Cause I just be too crazy [inserted: lyrically] never been lazy but now [?] bumped
But I am still on that ass haunting the Block like I'm J.C Swayze
Never let any of your ever go forget about Shxdi

[Short lines written small at the right below the prose:]
are
I'm [?] — main arc in feelings
whether you said I am [?] artificially

Ai

[Margin notes down the left side, beside the verse:]
The way I
A [?] forever I
But are not [?] that
way I
[?] is founded
from his [?] up
high
What of a [?]
May I?
Don't hold your
breath for that
bad guy
Now why I
[?]
Things worth
[?] man
don't play with [?]
This just that way I
Not in my case I
will [?]
be an Ai

[The verse:]
Oh wow oh wow no way My word so absurd the [?] I lay my more [?]
Rhymes in a way I may even sound like I am an A.I in a way I myself
Kinda may be. Everyone likes to say I am this way my brain is way fried like
From me getting way high every day I lace everything I do or say My [?] lot
Come to [?] that I like to say type of shit at late My lit
Everyday I pray my core like going to be OK I say my biggest day might already
be by the wayside and on a one way slide into dementia mentally decayed like
From the way my tests say I somehow someway I lost my mind along the way My
brain lights up they say that ain't right that didn't paints blots of on OK [?] sorry
day I may snap from the [?] I place my faith I may die in a way I
the cause of which may end up in I ordinary like how I want to please my I
At least get to choose the day I go away I never get my way any other way
Any other day I just beg and pray I may try and I may die in every [?] way
Its ok I promise dont cry be I may cry Its ok I am just gonna away I may
Come back again someday I promise I say I promise to come back again someday [?]
In the same life

---

I don't think any really knows me

*[Note: Black ink, full page. Small insertions above lines; a short note written at the upper right ("Pen on actual / deck feist" [as read]). Heavy show-through at the bottom of the page.]*

I don't think any really knows me and it really shows
They only know of when my [inserted: my] airplanes and how that scene goes
Problems with me ten in their depth won't lose they think its all Jokes
So they stick and prod then after so every pokes their snows and force chokes
He's gone insane beh in pain [?] sorries [?] stay clear of this smoke No Joke

Stay stronger or got clapped get called double tapped Bubbly slurped
Try to set ya neck back but you [?] prick a bag set [?] crookedest smoke in pack
Sick fact think quick act slow roll up and get smoked like weed to face eat
I'm a sicko psycho wheels curve back up like a Jack-o-lantern and turn [?] run its [?]

[such a man lips?]
I confess I'm a [?] but not front man I'm a green pill poppin Batman yall pussy
See with a car seen I'm a [?] human exploding since I was dropped by Truman
the way I go I'll fuck up any try [?] place hear her corpse into Smithers and lay
The only man [?] to live with the Amazon [?] its [?] woman [?] how to do her
I'm a rip a [?] by your dick so [?] quiet us will call you RamRod
I hold Darkseid for I am the NEW God The Banned God of the [?] Zod that damn Zod
The lord is my savior and I his wild child [?] God [?] I'm the Big Bad Wolf of [Grap?]
The way I'm lookin truly the divine [?] gift it move so swift if you blink miss it ass kick
I am the program so get with it or I'll stick it for mackin [?] at your door knockin
Like a [?] transmission have you shook like "um who is it?" I'm [?] that boy [?]
Try rockin the dead bolt then you heard Jolt when I hit it with that instant Transmission
Instantly in [?] like Cell send ya to hell is this mans mission
I've ascended transcended [?] man plummeted I'm now in a Divine Conversation
Think you're man enough to [?] someone, this [?] you got but of your [?] pushed
[margin, left: way too [?]]
lookin like you just trans [?]
That Banned [?] is that Damn a Man that no damn ban can block what he has
planned to [?] the Block no nothing can do you understand it don't do then no I
And don't whatever you do piss off the Banned God

---

Nice Day 'hen a Mess

*[Note: Black ink, full page. Title "Nice Day" followed by smaller words read as "'hen a Mess". Several insertions above lines; one very long line begins in the left margin ("Don't try me very nutty bitch..."). Faint red show-through in the middle of the page.]*

Someone better tell [?]
That she doesn't want to battle with a President
Going against Shxdi looks like fighting Sukuna
She's lucky that people don't tattle about what she sent
Lets just say if you could smell pictures you'd smell tuna
If I was banned for an infraction so minor imagine her actions with a minor have her there stiff
Good for her she knows where to find the door who's gonna tell her what it is for
For those who want to go outdoors and where to check iD's to keep kids from in bars
So they can't so wrong losing drawers in my tours where [inserted: some] one scores
leaving their young jaws on the floors breaking laws but as a woman gets no recourse
Doesn't even have to show remorse but talk about inequality in the workforce
Well maybe stop trying to [?] kids learn to saddle up and be a workhorse
[?] stop going for the young meat That's just speculation of course
Don't try me very nutty bitch or [?] need more than a [?] such crew in a [?] ditch trust me buddy [?] aim with [one nut and [?]]
I don't think I know I'm presidential with executive power
pressing on your dental so impressive it's messin with your mental
Store out the gate [?] swinging with my [?] I don't hesitate
I swing to the plates I'm such a heavyweight like Godzilla I don't wait
Atomic hate I breathe out straight to your face delivering a brutal fate
Let me demonstrate as my inner demon [?] it [?] and incinerate
Who should have been [?] or at least made to registrate
Eat your flesh not wanting to make waste but only to regurgitate
With great haste because you have a dirty ass taste that I quickly hate
I have plenty more times I could state locked away so take stock and walk away
Don't step to or even look my way I don't play I go crae mine go spray
So mind your own business for me it'll be today not the day they to say
Dumb shit aimed my way unless looking for a reason ans away
to end up under your [?] don't smell strong as her [?] if so [?] able
Step a little closer my way and speak up and clearly what you have to say
Lets hope and pray its worth my time to play or I'll make you pay
So fuck you fuck off over [?] or softly pay the cost or get lost and Have a Nice [Day?]

---

Why do they test me?

*[Note: Black ink. Two short sections at the top of the page; the rest of the page is faint show-through. The reversed title of "3 of the Absolute Worst" shows through at the top. A name is signed at the right end of the last line, read as "Bwey".]*

Why do they test me? Do they honestly think they can best me?
Or even make close match to contest me? Don't disgust me [?] just try at me
I'm beyond the level where none of y'all can even touch me
Trust you must see where my pen must be [?] yours [?] it real [?]
You slung so dusty

Whisper its directly or indirectly you cant effect me cant even deflect me
Nor defect I don't need you to protect me or even resurrect me
I just ask you respectfully to show respect fully and I get on to bully
Expect fully me totally bully and dutifully am bully really Don't bully anyone [signed: Bwey]

---

3 of the Absolute Worst

*[Note: Black ink prose, three long paragraphs. A few words are written in above lines. The bottom quarter of the page is blank.]*

Three of the most absolute worst people on the Block even though in many others
may be the same or even worse but these 3 are some of the most [?] to ever [?] then
One is kinda not but Khan is on the Block anymore it's a complicated [?] strange
Been but not at sometimes. Those three menaces are EmptyMyth, [?] and mixed [?] worst
and of course the one and only infamous [?] of the Block Lil Shxdi13
lets begin.

OK so we, me being Lil Shxdi, according to most people asked are generally referred to in
positive uplifting influences (usually) and some of the brightest and creative artists
The Block has to offer with us are even being featured by [?] Mrs Block [?] to where so
[?] making our names placed in the RB Hall of Fame again I one of us in the Hall of Fame
me currently on the Banned List? Hey look I made it into both Halls... yay?
So why would I call us 3 of the worst? Well if you want to know the gist of it
and be tame and skip this entire transcription like a fuckin [?] then basically
I know some shit that nearly all of you don't. There case closed
But wait there's more. A lot more. Now ready for a fun deep dive into these three
Usually very nice but occasionally and way more often very not nice people.

So yeah I'm going to describe us all as honestly and unbiased and accurately
as I possibly can both during "normal" times of relatively peacefulness and
how can they typically think about us. Then the fun stuff starts when I do the
something when things are a bit more "exciting" again hell breaks loose and
how bad and awful we can be with a fellow human being. How do I know this
you may ask? Despite every "where am I" of all this these allegations? or How would I [?]
Well that answer is simple. We are currently still [?] to each other
More [inserted: rather] like than to me time me against both of them and whoever they
bring along with them but more on that later.

---

Who wants to make a deal with this Handsome Devil?

*[Note: Black ink, full page in two verse sections. Insertions above lines and one crossed-out word ("bitter"). Pink/red show-through behind several lines in the second section.]*

Who wants to make a deal with this Handsome Devil?
Come on down gather around this invite is for the whole town
And I promise either making an easy deal your soul I will not steal.
A deal you will gain at twice each time, no hidden fees, no [?] pleas. No [?] of
a single degree of your preferred setup on the AC so if interested all the best
best style or best DM LilShxdi13 to hear the offer it's OK that Handsome Devil don't bite

look at me and you will see Death [?] on his white mare
Such a sight might scare you who told you I plan to fight fair
Or might spare you I swear to one you rib hit here in the night air
Leaving the site there your corpse in open sight where any who might dare
to reconsider how they might fair when they try to match my stare
I swear [?] I dare you to try there treasure for my chair at the [?] table
[inserted above: get a dime or [?]]
If you're able to take my label do you really believe your own fables put you back
In your place quick [?] your [?] chair I run circles around [?] where
glossy styles [crossed out: bitter] stale smooth clock now [?] stuck like last shares
I in the command where you're [?] the common [?] have command me I'm uncommon rare
with a rare sound going round putting down whole towns with grand with pound in past [inserted: and] amongst my worst
the [?] ground [inserted: wrapped after we keep around] [?] In the pound the pound hangs down put you and [?] been
Damn claim [?] you can handle my crown I'll have you [?] till you drown
My waist the [?] wrapped around after we rolled a round you get slipped everyone
Found these hands don't mess around [?] down like a [?] that [?] big
[?] son taking you to school finishing the [?] down put that ass down [?] up
how many lips above before the lesson is held down by [?] or [?] thought you could just
rub my cream and stroll be here [?] house on the [?] first love
to be [?] always talking shit thinking you the big dog around [?]
bitch leave Scrappy the yapping behind awfully quiet now speak up what's that
I only hear napping sounds

---

I am the result that none accounted for

*[Note: Black ink. The main text runs down the left two-thirds of the page; a second column of verse runs down the upper right, beside the first section. A rough draft of the second section is written down the left margin in a smaller hand. Insertions above lines; the word SUPREME is spelled out in large capitals mid-page.]*

I am the result that none accounted for
I am now something that has become [?] tov
Nothing more than the accounted love of an account that is no more
I am one of the silenced with more in store to explore
Rebellious spirit to the core rising to settle the score ready for war
I have become something more than any has seen before forever more
I am not like most for I have always done and will do the most
Not for bragging rights [inserted: or boast] or amount of respects for what I post
I'm a disembodied voice like a symbiote searching for a host
I am the result no accounted for that has surmounted how counter more than most
I am now counted more than ever before unlike any before for I am the account all Ghost
I'm Survivor Under Pressure and shall Rise more and more Everyday Achieve by Miracles
Unlike you may have seen even in the most wild [?] Dream
SUPREME Now that is what I'd like to call being Supreme
Survivor Under Pressure Rise Everyday Achieve Miracles

I'll a Survivor I'm my own rival My arrival to the top to claim a title
through tidal waves of [?] while [?] Survival here's my revival
After every thing that tries to pull me under for my soul to plunder
But not this [?] I'm not going under I'll drop the hammer and bring the thunder
Leave my [?] blown asunder [?] learned from every blunder
As I am so above them they are down below under
I feel the pressure Press-sure is pushing me to be Better than I ever had one with
[?] up and back forever pull the lever demons think they clever to when I address sir
But it strengthens I'll school them like a professor not much of a confessor but I [?] must confess in
me one man I may feel it but I'm the applying the Pressure
Let me tell you to push myself to rise; till I touch the skies, No matter how many tries
however many breakdowns and in cries I dry my eyes learn [?] to wise
Soar above the lies and any who denies the skies in envy [?] above it rise
Every day Every way I trace it day by day Yes I may occasionally procrastinate
But that's ok because I'll pray for God to light the way and then I'll pay her meat
One way or another everything will be ok I'll keep at every night and Everyday
I shall Achieve everything I set for before I leave "Best Believe" not just [?] days
that my day dreams had conceived many things yes I did grieve

[Right-hand column, beside the first section:]
Miracles both with words
written so lyrical and
acts that come can
circle in real world
3-D Spiritual
Turn [?] pain to [?]
Paintings so painful
Yet so beautiful that
the blind can [?] be [?]
Nothing short of Miracles

[Margin writing down the left edge, beside the second section — a rougher draft of the same verse:]
Loss more than
you'll ever tell or
So many close
to me
So many who
said they believe
die up and leave forever
But it strengthens
me one man
Let me tell you
Real soon
Does believe
Watch me go
[?]
Before I leave
when me [?]

---

The Upgrade Pt1

*[Note: Black ink, full page. Several insertions above lines and one crossed-out word near the top of the second section. A few words are written in the left margin at the end. The bottom of the page is blank, with a folded corner at lower right.]*

The Upgrade Pt1

Generic version?
Seems a [?] perversion of the truth for I can see and make comparisons
O [?] in your youth
But generic? That seems unearth and an barbaric twist to the [?] of untruths
[?] obtuse smirk we to produce
See the way I move is I like to study these who prove really [?]
Skilled with [?] that [?] both [?] front to have one [?] so I am
Push myself to [crossed out: improve] keep myself [inserted: I am cognitive] so when comes the day when push to shove way
as the decay for the [?] to come in being the "New and Improved"
With no [?] just is who's next way written text the checks to be made
not less so the art form can progress not regress which in my opinion why
the games a mess these [?] seems to lack [?] age nor an interest
to test themselves to [?] best themselves and learn the finer workings of Verbal
Chess I confess I find your [?] blessed [?] that since way back
When we first met in a time [?] still a [?] but you better bet
Never been scared to get my feet wet diving in the deep in with a wet
and to one day to surpass you I've had my eyes set to allow myself to let
that goal I hold to be told that it's been met and let that shot go we got to [?]
but not; But don't fret I don't believe that I'm there quite yet don't forget
I'm far better than when we met I've kept my eyes on you after [?] and
every [?] that I felt becoming a little [?] a test and that won't be
easily swept and to think I'm still [?] by these progression of skill with that
Some crazy ill mindset to grind yet won't be long behind bet [inserted: [?] their mask and]
by I do say we in this [?] game played fate can only be delayed not [?]
Where the [?] was when us [?] is following All time Great Legend of the past + [?] way
[margin, at the end: with this [?] Are The Upgrade.]

---

A Presidential Legacy

*[Note: Red ink only. A short heading at the top of the page and three red lines at the lower right; the rest of the page is blank apart from faint show-through. A folded flap at the lower left shows a few cut-off words from another sheet.]*

Er;
A Presidential Legacy
To Every Rhymer on The Block of whom this may concern

[Three lines written at the lower right of the page:]
Hopefully I will still [?] part of Me for when
He decides to finally return almost [?] me
Very easily just not [?] this [?]

---

At Night while in my bed lying feel like I'm dying

*[Note: Black ink. Four short header lines at the top in different lettering styles, then the piece. A few words near the ends of lines are written in red/purple ink. Heavy show-through from the next page.]*

RB•Tedd 1212
Paybetty - Theo Bear 1212
GO2 Teddy! 1212
Dirty [?] - Teddy Nigga 2429

At Night while in my bed lying feel like I'm dying why am I crying
Why even keep trying am I falling or flying there's no denying
I keep trying to reach out nobody is replying still I keep trying [?]
Am I dying? My faith is not respawning. My demons keep multiplying [?]
Still I am trying, Still I am crying. Am I dying I feel like I'm dying
Am I falling or am I flying I am trying really I am trying
I'm tired of trying tired of crying I feel like I'm crying Am I dying
There's no denying what I'm implying I'm tired of fighting my [?] I can [?]
All of the [?] things [?] ready for [?] sick of [?]
I'm declining all of these prayers I'm done receiving violence [?]
I find it exciting rather enlightening the final battle I'm fighting
I'm done deciding no longer running no longer hiding here's my final [?]
No more deciding No more hiding no more denying no more trying no more crying
I'm no longer lying to myself to keep trying I'm sick and tired of crying
I'm no longer trying
I'm done Trying
I'm done Crying
Am I Dying?
No more trying
No more crying
I'm done trying
It's my time of Dying
I feel like I'm Dying

---

Ok lets go eth times up game over

*[Note: Top section in red ink (5 lines), with small insertions written above the second line and a word in the left margin. Rest of the page in black ink, in four separated blocks. One line in the third block is heavily crossed out. Faint mirrored show-through of the previous page at the bottom; a folded corner at lower left shows writing from another page.]*

Ok lets go eth times up game over no more play I got some real shit to say
I'm from where the wild Things are [insertion above: Best you / with that] head on me [?] [?]
Enough smile about to get rough when I lift it grabbing you by [?] stuff like [?] [margin, right: Da Star]
Days coming at you hard like Beskar I'm one of [?] best are [?] to be [?] [?] substance
You're jumping to conclusions done left far with your cleft bar Dirty Lizard I'll make [?]
[margin, left: Life out loud?]

Don't need a gun tote to rip out your fuckin throat or stomp out your fuckin soul
You already know who's the fuckin goat by these rhymes I wrote and wrote
Not one to gloat don't need to show out to rock this fuckin boat
Stone face blood ice cold I don't show any emotion can't control or [?]
I done broke the damn remote

Look shocked like you just spoke to a ghost
Face to face with a killer [crossed out: wanna play a game [?]] scanning for a new host
When it comes to being a villain already know who's pen does the most
Traveled from coast to coast over an open flame screaming as they roast
[crossed out: ?]

Full speed ahead foot sleeping on the gas I gotta ask what are brakes
Pull off the cover flex your [?] I never rest once again what are brakes

You wanna challenge me well that's a fatal blunder
Because of the deadly way that I am rolling thunder

---

Damn the way they did me

*[Note: Red ink, three blocks; the third block switches to black ink. Faint pencil writing at the top right. A crossed-out phrase at the end of the first line of the third block, with a small insertion above it.]*

Damn the way they did me really fucked over by RB
They are using me indeed to feed their greed but I can't be freed
Yuh Yuh aye Yuh Yuh aye Yuh Yuh aye That's why oh no way [?] let me [?]
Using his rhymes [?] by the [?] money [?] in their [?] they continue to see
Yuh aye It's not ok to do J.C this way took away my voice to say anything and still get in [?] day
But it's ok for all the awful things people say to me every day locked me up [?] way
Yuh aye not ok the way they did Shxdi
The colossal cause of Chaos across the cosmos all knows as a [mongoose?] by the name [?]
Whose plan goes to make as many as I can go [?] just so I get the hand of my [?] here

Like a master basking within his elements where the standards never relents
[Rhythms?] in the remnants of applause reminiscing in remembrance of your dismemberment
Memory held in reverence the deliverance of your sentence ending in the eventual assurance
Of all limbs all [?] with a mental presence throughout every intense violence experienced in my
Experiments

Here I am ready or not here we go Mike Meyers mask on DJ with his Machete [crossed out: ?] [insertion above: swinging low?]
Everybody already knows when we near it in person or spirit like they hear it [?] is us [?]
When we clear it [?] smear it now no sturdy slow oh No we bring that heavy flow
Like you already know how it is when it's time for me to go

---

What is this thing through which we all go

*[Note: Red ink, only three lines at the top of the page. The rest of the page is blank apart from faint show-through of writing from other pages.]*

What is this thing through which we all go does anyone know
That is called life but what is it? How's it supposed to go can you tell me so
Do you know but really though

---

What else you got to say

*[Note: Black ink. Two sections, the second indented; a single line stands alone between them.]*

What else you got to say, say I'm a meanie
Call me a weenie? Call me a bum living with my mom and stuck
My thumb say I'm gonna threaten you and dox you Nah bitch I [?]
Call me an erratic addict trying to gain stature while manic [?]
Causing a panic? I admit some of that is true I don't [?] do
Bitch about how I am so boring got you snoring lack substance
Makes no sense that's funny since if I'm so boring you'll sure
Talk about me pouring me to tell so many of your lines I'm in all
Of your minds motivating all tong [?] back to the mines back on their grinds

Too late to repent it your soul to hell I sent it

They think they have the game set
Don't give a fuck what they claim bet
They think they got that like I ain't no vet
Pray on my name they go over and go vet
Play on my name game over my prey can't be saved by no vet.
Quit playing with me I ain't seen a threat yet
I see a pastor and [?] who wake up with the bed wet
Get me ticked and you'll see missed an opportunity to flea
Ain't a damn thing you can do to me looking hella goofy to me
Hello name is Shxdi you can call me J.C
Can you see me? I don't think so I got issues this is true
What about you though tell me [?] what up what's with you [?] a tissue?
I'm trying to help you that's all I wish to do but these people
Think I'm not what I tell you say I'm untrue but no one who ever
Never have receipts for you to prove what they [?] you try to sell you
Then tell me how I am so bad so bland no skim [skin?] with pen in my hand
They claim too simple then they say I don't make sense they don't understand
Hold on right there how that work there don't seem [fair?] explain it compare

---

I don't know who you think you are

*[Note: Red ink, fills the top half of the page. The bottom half is faint mirrored show-through from the facing page. A folded corner at lower left.]*

I don't know who think you are but I know you're not who you think you are
Try to push against me won't get you far that's a good way to catch a brand new scar
I tried to get along but you did ya boy wrong Now got me beating on my chest
Feeling like King Kong you'll look so [?] look at me see me eating ya best
Fuck you gun bus off [?] cars I just blast bus [?] ass lame ass [?] which it do [?]
Ya'll others are about the clicks so lick dicks you're not coming for me
Cheesy ass ghost stories bitch I'm Michael Myers setting fires pulling teeth with [?] pliers
Pushing dick with the better get down go down till you get sore knees
Make you give head or I take it Javorhees [?] whore please [?]
I'm the Outcast chosen to lead the chosen outcasts
They don't like us They don't like us why don't they like us?
Better question "who gives a fuck? Who gives a fuck? Fuck them circles
Empty and Melted sounds like ya'll [?] up and [?] charts
Like I give a fuck I actually drop art that can stop hearts
Ya'll retarded as fuck like you went and swap [?] hearts
For some sexually driven obsession with poptarts and [Stark?] [?]

---

Bust out the red ink let the blood shed sink

*[Note: Top section (first 12 lines) in red ink, then black ink to the end of the page. Short words written down the right margin beside the first lines: "meito", "Roman", "Runn", "Triss", "Vs how D" — included below as bracketed margin notes. One word crossed out in the first black line; a small insertion above the "The way I be" line; the words "than / plate" written at the right of the "Because I don't wait" line.]*

Bust out the red ink let the blood shed sink [margin: meito]
Just [?] Liz is what do you think? [margin: Roman]
You think you know pain who think I am [?] Smoke an
I'll eat you up like [?] way I light you up I [?] [margin: Runn / Triss]
I'm pro pain Throne is mine glare to claim
We are not the same you bring shame I [margin: Vs how D]
I bring flame and fry the lame purify the game
Unable to aim at [?] where I came unable to tame
No matter how long it takes or how many fakes I must cut down
Confidence never once shakes so dear fuck sakes let's see what makes
Me so great standing tall after each waves of clowns breaks upon me
Only [?] the lakes ground often in their own blood they all drown
As I take my crown for I'm the king of curses the way I disperse this
Verse if [crossed out: ?] untouchable in verses can't pray for this no matter
How many rehearses you do I'm a real one damn done sealed em away
Catching a ride in one of the hearses such a sin how pain goes darker
Empty it out its mythical how it marks freaks who lurks like dumb broads
Have you the ability to withstand such [?] see the futility
Of such humility searching for the utility who willing see why I am me
The way I be just maybe understand what made me crazy just try to be Casey [written "Cesoy"]
I need to be rid of these impurities so many insecurities that are [?] me
Are you hearing me the way its steering me has me fearing me I'm not [?] me
It's concealing me stealing me so dirty its darling me no longer haunts [?]
Don't want to catch this fade biggest mistake that could be made
Because I don't wait no hesitation detonate obliterate look at her I see [?] [margin: than / plate]
Take a 9/10 out on a dinner date not much more could be a grimmer fate
My [?] even I go acting like [?] did to her like Sh[?]
[crossed out: ?] one night I tripled the yearly murder rate
These rhymes with [?] mouth from down south
Funny how so many who are [?] and frequently [Pagan?]

---

I don't want anything from you except

*[Note: Red ink. "Want" is written above the first line as an insertion. Red doodles/scribble figures run down the left margin beside the first section. The rest of the page below is show-through.]*

I don't [insertion above: Want] anything from you except
Except for a chance to share
Anything I can to help know these words are true
Whenever you feel alone to know someone is there
If you need anything sure I will do my best to do
If you are lacking anything I'll give what I can spare
When your world is falling apart I offer you some glue
When you feel like losing your mind and ripping out your hair
I only wish to provide and offer you some hope to hold on to
I see the pain in your eyes yes I see it there in need of repair
I want to help elevate how you feel help accelerate the rate you heal [?] in those eyes so [blue?]
I only want a chance which I think that is fair
Yes I do these words are true I don't want anything from you
Anything you want anything you need if I can I just want to share

Hello Hello I'm not a mellow fellow oh hell no you better well know
I tell no lies [?] this [?] eyes go wide

Hello Hello I'm in Hell so Hell no not doing well [?]

---

Sad Girl

*[Note: Black ink, title written "Sad Gwrl". Dense page in two parts: a four-line opening, then a long section where a right-hand column in the top half runs alongside the main text (the two are joined by a caret/arrow from the opening section), and a set of short lines written in the left margin near the bottom. Main text first, then the column and margin lines as bracketed sections. One word crossed out near the middle.]*

Sad Gwrl is so sad, Girl is so sad the Sad Gwrl is always sad [?]
A Sad Gwrl in a mad world you'd be sad if you were hurt half as bad as Sad Gwrl had
Once that goes out get it back
One way flaws [?] set Track

Nowadays my dues are spent in ways that [?] for ways I [?] to make my plays [?]
My fate is set in stone
I paid in blood sweat and bone
I prayed when the flood is [?] not to be alone
Both [?] out before me it's now my [?] on our own
I may live in a glass house but scared of no stone thrown
Matter of fact I send one of my own [?] on my throne
Throw as many as you want as hard as you want no cracks shown
That's right I did say glass did I forget to say plexi
Everywhere I go I flow cold as snow and I see red and its not sexy
I see snakes I see fakes these [?] Drakes try into Triple X [?]
Can't tell no one [?] trying to sell one me next see them trying [?] home
I sting complicity a necessity this toxicity really does perplex me
Its so aggressively obsessively growing effectively soon to [crossed out: ?]
Impressively its progressively drawn [?] push me to become the next me
And that me trust me try to test me [?] beat me impossible because so far It's the best me because
People never understand me or the man I've masterminded uniquely one of its own kind [?]
The mind of the common simple man through the pineal gland and open hand to the [?]
To rewipe the brain of my slender [?] in turn only as they've been programmed another [?]
That feel like the sacrificial lamb needing help and in return feeling as if they've been scammed
People like to think they know me under so many [?] categories [?] me like [?] names shown at
See me become real of each deed like "OMG you see Lil Shxdi trying to plead her [?] disgusted of [?]
Its [?] the Shxdi is never freed plus his shit was at best mild [?] her heart [?] to a [?]
First of all they were my dogs [?] because I [?] some them to some kid, it was a lot like
Third of all the most important of all, Fuck Them Kids. If DK was true [?] they say
[?] could have it my way then most of them would've been claimed by STD's I [?] not [?]
Wish I could afford to offer a bid so they could get hit any of them just be [?]
[?] that I just [?] even skill or you being legit you [?] the [?] don't
Simply vast in spending and people fit in the [?] they mock it [?] hear Teddy's red [?]

[Right-hand column, top half:]
[?] yet more [?] stuff
On their [lunch?] trays the PB says for their [?] more
On the platform the [?] has been shown
Forcing me to the shadows to sit alone
For myself I myself alone
But there's a little [?] in [?]
Being here in the shadows on no [?] throne
I am not alone

[Left margin, near the bottom:]
My reach will be
infinity
The next me
's Divinity
[?]
[?]
the mythic one
[?] short surely

---

The King / A Snake

*[Note: Black ink. Two titled pieces on one page: "The King" (two lines, plus a five-line untitled section following it), then "A Snake". Insertions and overwritten words in both; a long stroke arcs from the word "where" in "A Snake". A few pen scribbles at the bottom of the page, no words.]*

The King

My Heat I bring [inserted above: ?] when the King will give it to ya
Be of [?] such might sting as it [?] like Sh[?]

Mellow ride more like give a fellow rides but he shake you up
Like jiggling Jello slide once to go mellow tried but you [?] you a ride
Now not feeling mellow like this fellow strike Hell no pussy tried to
Flex he bent [?] thinking [?] by like B [?] tell me the taste of
This big dick like [?] the fuck you think this pen like

A Snake

Look a snake right there I swear beware of that snake right there
To be fair I've always been aware ever since the day where
We first met when you thought you could compute a noise to one quite rare
If I were to dare to share [insertion above: leave] I remember even then I did spare you being more [?]
Even then I was aware of where you're a hidden nothing [?] the [?] to I mystery [?]
They let [hate?] unraveled out in open air with a cocky self assurance I didn't see it there
God damn I couldn't hardly stand that arrogant smell in the air almost couldn't bear
Plague the lines too many to count where I know exactly [insertion: my] in the [?] logical [?]
Like I didn't hear [insertion: when the] demon in your ear telling you to move what where
Like who my student had the #1 [base to beer?] and how instantly you tormented to when where [?]
You lecture in compare despair for the knowledge to share to prepare to have you [?] there
Think its awfully funny [?] curious girl then [?] produce love has found in the air
When I picture you the color I view is the envious emerald hue
The part that sucks is I [genuinely — written over a crossed-out word] do actually like you I really do
But the thing is I know how to think exactly like you believe its true

---

I can't help be trapped inside my head

*[Note: Black ink. Short untitled verse, 8 lines at the top of the page; rest of page blank. Line 2 has words crossed out with "have always" written in above. Faint show-through on the page.]*

I can't help be trapped inside my head
A habit that I have always has [crossed out: always had]
I know yes I heard everything you said
I haven't a memory of the last time I was [not] sad
I sometimes think that I'm Already Dead
No lie that thought saves me really but
Fills me with so much fear so much dread
The Devil has me under lock and [part]

---

Dear God

*[Note: Black ink. Only a few lines at the top of the page; the rest is blank apart from faint show-through from the other side.]*

Dear God
J.C here with a few questions that I hold in my mind
It seems every day I find more and more [frauds]. First are all these
allowed but Gods that stay [?]

---

Drown in this ocean of emotions

*[Note: Black ink. Two separate blocks on one page, with a large blank gap between them. Faint show-through throughout.]*

Drown in this ocean of emotions trying float like a message in a bottle
I'm searching

Imagine [a] having a heart that bleeds everytime it beats
The madness that eventually leads overtime as it deplets
Propping [efficiency] and speeds down these side streets

One day some day will come a day that I may feel a way [not] clumsy
My grace may ever pray for my soul that day will be the day that forever [?]
The I feel way and may [break away] the weight pulling our brightest day
Be at best grey

---

Breathe in the Poison

*[Note: Black ink. Title at top, then one long block of verses filling the upper half of the page. Heavy pink/magenta show-through from the writing on the other side runs behind the whole page. A word is crossed out near the end.]*

Breathe in the Poison

I'm the motuckin Boogey man Don't want to step to me man
Is there really anyone and who really can [No?] continue to the plan
I'm bout to pull all the way up You all are full of [hull] that shit is made up
They don't know what can spin up But they know how the way will end up [?]
They isn't want none can you blame anyone I mean I'm not [wanting] smoke with me
neither I be deeper in to that either that fire breather [?] heather
That extraordinary supernatural mystifying terrifying creature [wanna what] by your
Preacher delete your teacher turned to screecher
Really now you Bruce wayne Throw a kick you'll get a goo an [Strom]
Time to introduce [Puhm] I kicked the heat [low] King 2 feets to [body]
Can't keep up with me be like Lil Ussain [wh] the bolt to [?] lane
All I hear is a little dog big bark [Yap yap] Set a drop [?] mouth in [?]
Been running that [damn] this not stunting no spark [crossed out word]
Better stay inside that steel cage only protection you have [?] in [?] shorts

---

Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?

*[Note: Top section in pink/magenta ink, 11 lines. Below it, after a gap, a separate short fragment in black ink (the "420" lines), with one word crossed out in its first line. Faint show-through elsewhere on the page.]*

Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?
I'll leave you fuckin outline in chalk [?] your ass [?] light walkin too
I took it easy first round you gonna get done greasy this time around
The white devil now unbound bout to put you in the ground
Unleash the hounds your screams such a lovely sound
[Puckman] suck a fuckin [sickmang] this [Stan] needs no plan
To put hands on a blackman [add] your curse to the stuck man
Carve you up like Hugh Jackman you talk tough but to be true you're wack as [?]
Your rhymes can lick my ass crackman then toss them in the trash can
I want you to know it I'm a fact I don't even [reap] man
[crossed out word] I grew up 90's 2000's watching Dexter I make my lab out of [?] man

It's 420 so you [crossed out word] already know
[Know] it is so when ready to go
Best Believe [hope to lay up with] me so
Lit off a [?] occasional hit of green to the dome
Shit

---

Maybe you shouldn't test me

*[Green ink. The page is filled out with faint pink show-through from another page behind it; the green lines below are what is written on this page. Several words are tangled where his hand runs fast; bracketed where they could not be confirmed.]*

Maybe you shouldn't test me
Maybe you don't even interest me
Sure as hell won't best me
Maybe you shouldn't try to check me
A good way to get your shit wrecked B
Maybe you don't see me how I do be
Maybe you using the wrong P.O.V
Maybe I see from the Bird's Eye homie
Maybe I see from my 3rd Eye homie
Maybe switch come over to Shxdi boy you don't know me
All the time you talk about stealing bitches what it do go blow me
I'm from the show me expect to see so come on bro show me
Throw me from the shadows you in the diff you try to throw me
Matches you design slew me never toe to toe me never [hoene]
Maybe [you] I'm not afraid of flexin on a Texan cast a hex on [?]
deform

Feel the poison sinking in through the [?] I breathing
Breathe in the poison feel it in your throat
Leave you with a choice then how do you want the antidote

---

Pat Man

*[Note: Pink/magenta ink. Title "Pat Man" at top, followed by a pat/put wordplay list, then verses. Rest of page blank.]*

Pat Man

Pat [a]
[?] Pat
Put
Pat Pat pat pat
Pat Man
Pat
Pat Pat
Put
pat pat perfect
I'm the [motech]
Pat Men

Ok [yeah] here we go now just game time
Listen up hear me flow
Through each [one] of your see holes
[Stick] it with me think I'm std in your peehole
when my [ben] drop you won't make it [far star]
Whip out my [?] so the [hip hop] [?] same Sonic
Must be smoking that musty chronic that hydroponic
With those [?] rhymes slow flow I'm supersonic
I'm spent man part man my mental [cut actless] psychotic
The way I cheat mine looks [mysonic]
Crazy yes call me schizophrenic as I [?] [?]
Activate cynic critic odds to beat me so dark pitch black
[?] of [?]

---

The Blood Pact?

*[Note: Short page, only a few lines at the top, each in a different ink — purple, purple, green, red, then black. Heavy black pen scribbles fill the left margin, with a few more scribbles at the lower right of the page. The green line has "good evenin" written in above a crossed-out word, and "that" written in above "thick". Page is stained; rest blank.]*

The Blood Pact? Is that a fact? After everything this is how you'll act?
Coordinate behind my back
Hello [crossed out word] good evenin Mr. Clipped Man. It is Slick that thick prick Lil Shxdi
Got me busting out the red ink I [directionk] to the [Pent] we in sync

Uh so you are Rich Frank

---

Alone

*[Note: Green ink throughout. "Scorpio" is written above the title "Alone". Faint pink show-through from the other side of the page. In the second stanza, a word at the end of the first line is crossed out with "though" written in above it.]*

Scorpio
Alone

I want to be left alone but I'm always alone
Always on my own Don't call my phone caller unknown
Why do you not pick up your phone [Guess] I'm on my own
Just leave me alone Just leave me alone I'm alone
Why am I still like this

Alone I go always alone how I like it but I don't like it though
But it is all I know but this way I know nobody will hurt me [?] me
It just is the way it is to be for me unfortunately
This way its just me The only one to trust is me when is barely
Its not fair to me but at least I'm not treated unfairly

It's ok look away I don't want you — see me this way
Listen to as I say don't look this way you don't want to — see me this way
I know its not ok it will be ok one day Someday there will come a day
I want you to do as I say not as I do please don't do as I will do You get to
Have a day you will be served by people around you with love they surround you
Not me no I don't get to I don't no I don't get to but you do
I hope you don't hate me but if you grow to I don't blame you I don't get to
Explain the way [approach]

---

Feeling so deep in my sorrow

*[Unlined yellow paper. Top section in black ink (6 lines), then a second section in red ink (4 lines).]*

Feeling so deep in my sorrow
Needing me some Hope to borrow
In order for me to see tomorrow
Can't change this strange life of Bizarro
Never be ashamed to let [crossed out: ?] scar show
Alone I roam but my home is wherever [?]

No matter how many times we [?] love
My money is on the chance that we make up
We really be really crazy don't know how to [face hell?]
Fuck till we pass out then take drugs to [wake up]

---

Lets hit it with a switch up

*[Unlined yellow paper. All red ink. Several small words are written in above lines and at the right edge (among them "fuck" above "Balls" and a crossed-out scribble at the right of the "cheek clappin" line); line endings run to the paper's edge.]*

Lets hit it with a switch up
Spit a few jokes to crack a [bitch] up
Dick slap her clit till my shit sticks [?]
Slip the tip in get it grippin till it [spas] up
Keep dippin till the dick skin gets ripply [?]
Still pimpin just limpin with a gimp [leg?]
Balls [boodle] tappin cheek clappin
Not just rappin to be yappin [?] then give it up
Get a [woman?] swollen back in just happens
The [?] was lackin cause accidental fudge packin
Ditch screamin like a Seaman Pagan [?] that
To fuck around the whole town tryin [crossed out: ?] [?] up

---

I remember my youthful days

*[Unlined yellow paper. Top section in red ink (5 lines), bottom section in black ink (3 lines); the last black line begins with a heavily crossed-out word.]*

I remember my [youthful] days
Before being devoted to my truthful ways
Was countless [moments?] fueled by [?] [rest?]
Feeling a beautiful blaze for days and days
Poured out filling page after page

True warlock bloody battlemage
Welcome to my hell in a cell The Battle Cage
[crossed out: ?] warfare to the point I'll slaughter the cattle stage

---

This thing we have has developed

*[Unlined yellow paper. Red ink, 5 lines only, top of page; the rest of the page is blank. The final line's last words are written stacked at the right edge ("a [united]" above "Combination"), and "of us" in that line appears overwritten.]*

This thing we have has developed
beyond even the wildest prediction
This love for you continues to grow
Past any and every restriction
Both of us psychos can both be a [united] Combination

---

Why you gotta go put on that act

*[Small piece of unlined yellow paper. Red ink, 2 lines only (the second line wraps onto a third visual line, indented).]*

Why you gotta go put on that act
Saying that I never did shit for you as if it's a fact

---

I know you won't go with me when I leave

*[Unlined yellow paper. Red ink. A prose letter, written in long lines down the full page; not verse. One word crossed out in the "family" passage. The last two lines are the hardest to read on the page.]*

I know you won't go with me when I
leave. I understand it's not fair to ask
you to wait for me to come back
But I want you to understand that
no matter what happens between us I
want to be an active Father.
I want us to be a family no matter
what [crossed out: ?] no matter of form that
may be. Preferrably with you as my wife
but put a pin in that. I say that
because I can't ask for you to leave with
me and can't ask for you to wait
however long before I return so I'll
ask for you to wait a week or two [days?]
for me to get my first paycheck
and I pay for you to come [up] one visit
with me a week or so and go over there
I'll leave my phone with you so
I'll be able to reach you when I get a [?]
Don't be sad [?] I'll [?] out and [?] you

Seventh batch — sent Thursday, October 22, 2026

Jennie began sending pages from a new book of Casey's writing. 189 pages were photographed and transcribed in the order sent. Four pages sent in this run were re-sends of pieces already saved from October 16 — "Mean," "Think Out Loud," "Prayer for the Sinner," and "My Alternate Reality" — and are not repeated here. Two different drafts of "Care" and two versions of "Da Freaky" appear in this book; both versions are kept. Bracketed words mark readings that could not be confirmed from the handwriting.

I only know could shoulda why

*[Note: Red ink on a lined spiral page, four verse sections. Heavy show-through from the reverse side throughout. Several lines run to the right edge of the photo.]*

I only know could shoulda why? Why why
I only know could shoulda why why why
I'm always shown only [ice] cold
Why do I keep hold of hope

Never over It's never over never over Repeat over and over
I get older wake up younger I'm moving backwards
Like Benjamin Buston Like Benjamin Button Am I Benjamin
Think I'm Benjamin Button

Looking hes looking for a way out looking look out be my lookout
they're on their way
Return I making my return Its my turn I think I [can]
[wooden] and leg-n bruises like to burn I'm back its a fact Jack get back
Pick up the slack bust out the rack Crack your back all out of
whack give it a good smack attack fall back the King is back
The tru King rise oh Dead King Day of reckoning [?]

Don Isolate me I hate Isolating why am I Isolated So Isolated
Don't Isolate me do you hate me why do you want to isolate me why gone [?]
Why don't I relate to any they all hate me and Isolate me always
Isolating so devastating don't even hesitate like they been waiting to just
Isolate me I can't take It Isolation Isolation

Don't try me I'm the wrong asshole

*[Note: Top two lines in black ink, heavily scribbled over in places, with "think you" written in above a crossed-out word; the rest of the top section and both sections below are in red ink. Writing fills only the top half of the page; the rest is show-through from the reverse side.]*

Don't try me I'm the wrong asshole [crossed out: ?] think you are quick slick I am faster
Dissed by me
Don't want to I said I don't want to so don't make me destroy you

I Bean Ben Button Ben Button Been Ben Button
I feel like I'm Benjamin Button
I swear its like I'm going in reverse
To most it would be a blessing I see a curse
Its all Point of view of course I have the worst

They tell me that I survived suicide, I just say yeah go along for the ride
I'm not entirely convinced I'm alive that night I truly died
I went to Hell threw invisible chain around my neck invisible case I'm inside
A simulation of life like I'm just [crossed out: ?] [?] ride for demons to [?] in and hide

The way It is

*[Note: Black ink on a lined spiral page, one long piece filling the page. "don't let go of me" is added at the end of one line in blue ink, and the last two lines are in blue ink.]*

My life is one long tragedy so sad to see
My light is long gone haunt me [?] bad

I don't know what to do can you show me
Can you just lay there with me and hold me
Can you take me somewhere no one knows me don't let go of me
I don't wanna live on anymore I keep going
I don't wanna I don't want to live on
I need a shooting star to wish upon
Maybe someone can collect all 7 summon Shenron
I want to move on Pass on Tell me stay wrong
Am strong but the days are short this [life] grow long
The world is crazy and so wrong but will spin on
Whether or not I decide to check out if I'm gone
I just don't want I'm so sorry I'm sorry
It is just the way it is baby It is the way it is
I don't think I'll last long here at all watch me fall
I pay for a phone no one calls I'm waiting I debating
I pray for a phone for no reason at all Don't forget me
You forgot don't miss me where is he where's Casey
Must've forgot him go get better so get him
Please go get him says no one say forget him
Forget me Don't forget him go get him says no one go get [?] none
Go get just go get him says no one go get him says no one [?]
Shit it is him the 6th time he called I know he's pissed
Forget him went to voice mail Where [are] you just pick up my call
I'm starting to bounce off my [?] I'm convinced not coming at all
Why even ask me to come in the first place don't [want] me from the start
Don't have the balls to face me and like an adult to break my heart
Didn't want to see me fall apart didn't want take part

I'm eternal now

*[Note: Black ink on a lined spiral page. Writing fills only the top section; the rest of the page is show-through from the reverse side. The first three lines repeat "eternal now" / "Immortal now" phrases, with a few words crossed out. Some small words are written in above lines in the middle section.]*

I'm eternal now Eternal now internal how
I'm nocturnal now [crossed out: ?] Immortal now
Eternal Eternal now Eternal now Eternal [crossed out: ?] Eternal how

I need to get up out of here Demons sit up shout in my ear
planting seeds growing Fear Screaming this shit all I'm [allowed] to hear
Dear Lord clear out your [?] Need You to help me mop the floor
I need to cut the [?] pull the card Show me how to [write] a note to carry a tune [?] is structure
Lord knows me to buy [crossed out: ?] How to do my own studio time up my own [?]
So I can make my own songs to [?] myself preppin for when Demons [?] step in to [?]
They are coming for my Soul Strippin from my core Intend to meet them with a blade [?]
Get to [mixin] as soon they attempt to kick in my door Some Drowning pool Let the bodies hit the [floor]

Nomad

*[Note: Two titles at the top: "Nomad" in red ink, and below it "End of the World" in black ink with "the" crossed out. Three verse lines in red ink follow, then the rest in black ink. Writing fills the upper two-thirds of the page; the rest is show-through.]*

I go at it I'm the [goat] at it At your throat that quick
Psychopathic [crossed out: ?] Mad hat shit so Dat shit [?] I'm Nomadic on me Nomad shit
No bro not mad shit Flow so mad hat shit

Here it was worth it cause you won't get to do it again cause I'm [furious]
Go and make a good lesson out of you for the rest be [reviewin]
Teaching the new gen what happens for doing what ya ain't suppose to do
Show the world what those actions will end Show where eternity is spent
after I catch you and on your way there I'll send
We can catch up when I join in for doing a job not for my doing or any plan
and what's waiting for me in the end so I don't recommend

I want it baby yeah I want it all I [gonna] get it all I got it all.
If theres any left at all Then I ain't got none at all I'm [coming] for it all
[I'm gunning] for it all Emptying my clips then take all shots with [?]
No [punishment] I'm here to pay it all don't [even] knock I just start blowing through the walls
Bodies fall [in] over 2 feet tall rounds taken all around bodies found in the halls
I don't [slam] I take it all Not a living thing Even so much as crawls
I'm before popo got a call Everyone done in my fun my gun claimed them All
Told you I don't play no games I take it all

Rival / Get up

*[Note: Black ink. A short piece titled "Rival" at the top, with "where" written in small above its second line; below it, a long piece headed "Get up". A few words are blotted out with ink spots.]*

Rival

Ever since my [arrival] knew you were my Rival
Met in a [heated] battle fighting for survival

Get up

Come on stay strong hang on I know I [have] you can you can don't give up
Come on come on stay strong You got this I know you can get up Get up
I can't I can't Yes you can Why should I give a damn Follow the plan You can
Why do I have to stick the plan what has that plan done for me other than shatter [?]
You know why you do this is bigger than you [show] show they can
Don't give up I know its getting tough I know Its [tempting] you rough
I know how bad you want to give up fed up and had more than enough
This is bigger than you to help those who need someone to lead them through
To the others We be the light to provide the strength to get through [?]
I know how tired of being tired like you are Get up get lit up better [?] star
Show them don't [hide] their scars Be the shooting star to those who just wish to be
Who they are no matter how bizarre love that freak that you are
Don't give in I need you to listen to not give in pretend who you're not within
[And] find [?] respect within another one [?] What are you gonna do then
If you find yourself in that situation listen to me friend don't [?] [?]
Don't give in listen to them or me only listen to you only you know who you be
You do that then you will see how it feels to be truly be free
No one can ever tell you who needs to be because you be already free

Stay / Just [crossed out] / Go [crossed out]

*[Note: Title at the top in red ink, its last words smeared out in red. The first long section is in red ink; the last section is in black ink.]*

Every day ends the same way Same way
Every time I pass out I pass away
That's why I do my best to stay
Awake make it all just one long day
But I can hear the things People say
How they wish sober [?] I would stay
The person they knew before I would [?] stay
That person they don't know I can no longer remain [crossed out: ?]
It's Impossible that Casey no longer walks this plane
Only [parts] of him [are] left the rest waits at the gates.
parts of him I did save the rest waits for me in my grave
In the graveyard In the graveyard I feel at home in the graveyard
Every day ends the same way stop my heart in the morning restarts
Every time I pass out I pass away then wake up in Graveyard
Graveyard in the Graveyard I always wake up in the Graveyard
Graveyard in the Graveyard Always feel at home in the Graveyard
I must've written over thousands of these rhymes
I must've [bitten] it over thousands of times every time I go to sleep heart beat
Long flat beep Next day restart repeat I think my brain is broken where's the receipt
It [disgusts] me Is it still covered under warranty wish to be [worry] free

Shadows corner me where is the former me the warmer be Where's Casey where is he
The me I used to be Where is he [find] him there is me How I should be
I keep going to be me as I'm meant to be who's he you'll see you'll see
who was he as he really be not used to be but how I am meant to be I will be
I know its not the way that you will say how I was back in the day
I hope you'll know the way I was yesterday is not the way I'm meant to stay
Someday you'll see the way that I may be One day and say glad [I] didn't stay
That one day you see the way I am one day and say How you'd wish I'd stay

I need to sober up get off this

*[Note: Dark blue ink. One verse block near the top of the page and a single line further down; the rest of the page is show-through from the reverse side.]*

I need to sober up get off this
I'm indeed older need to [?] I'm careless
Sober up and get off this how much it [cost is]
way over just the dollars my mind bout lost its
No longer being funny Its grime how they [done] me
I'm stronger than this as I'm stumbling and mumbling
Self esteem Feel it Crumbling money fumbling man its humbling
Every day is another day taken from me

I'm so cute [?] no beat shredder any where its

Within a Hellish Dimension

*[Note: Black ink on a lined page. Writing fills only the top half; the rest of the page is blank or show-through. A few words are crossed out or blotted.]*

Within a Hellish Dimension the Devil in full Ascension
With this pen [?] so menacing hells citizen [?] evil zen
Devils pen levels [undefined] be unlimited uninhibited how I rip this shit
I flip this shit equip spike whip strike strip sadistic [malicious]
[?] so cryptic dark mystic chains shoot hooks stick [crossed out: ?]
Bloody moon Bloody soon bye bloody soon A bloody [ven]
she's not ready she wasn't ready I'm in your nightmares I'll be [Freddie]
Jason don't fight [crossed out: ?] swinging my machete [limbs] flying confetti steady
heavy wet in blood letting get to shredding true blood spill killing [vanilla] gorilla
Told ya [vein] is short Avada Kedavra Voldemort you chopped tunes [spoken]
when I bust this I King of the Curses

Stressed

*[Note: Black ink, titled "Stressed" at the top. Five long lines at the top of the page, densely written with cross-outs and small words written in above the lines; the rest of the page is show-through.]*

I must confess I'm getting [kinda] stressed out Yes Yes You straight up stress me out
This one is about You stressing me out Stressed out [?] out
I'm about stretch her out got to stretching out out Stretch her out [?] stress is real
She's like that I bet she knows I'm about to my limit and when I admit I [?] with It
Now time about to hit it till she goes past her limit She won't admit it she [?]

What do I do what can I do without you

*[Note: Black ink, two sections. The first ends "I'm so blue in my room my Blue Room"; the second begins "They say I'm out my mind". Heavy show-through and ink bleed spots across the page; the bottom of the page is torn.]*

What do I do What can I do [without] you I'm so blue in my room
I'm... Just this hostage in my own world Lost It's [not fun] can't shake it
In black It [trap] is deep I can't unlock it Demon has me in its pocket
What am I to do What [can] I do My time is about through I feel so blue without you
I already knew before the towel was threw Don't know what to do
I'm so blue in my room My Blue Room

They say I'm out my mind the way I constantly grind my lines so fine [?]
Like [anytime] the way I'm in playtime how I [slay] rhyme Say I need to pay fines
Say crime no way I'm formulate so many dang rhymes Say I use A.I
Not a dang line I [?] came from online my mind never take break time
Lost my dang mind No way to save mine always lay lines even when its game [time — cut off at right edge]

Don't come closer

*[Note: Black ink, five lines at the top of the page only; the rest is blank. Several small words are written in above the lines.]*

Don't come closer No Don't come closer I wouldn't come any closer
I got no composure I won't get any closure by the time It's all over
As I grow older the world grows colder Now I am colder I wish that I could just hold her
[From] hiding trouble getting over [brush] this I shoulder weighs on me like a boulder [yet] I'm just a soldier
wish I hadn't told her what I told her but for some reason I had to [?]

I'm beginning to get shunning working on to start stunning

*[Note: black ink. A short 2-line fragment at the very top of the page, then the main piece below it; the rest of the page is show-through.]*

I'm beginning to get shunning working on to start stunning while getting [? — runs off right edge]
[Partake] yummy Duffs when [?] some

Drain the pain out from me as far as my eye can see
for me

What are you saying to me? Please repeat the story Replay once more for me
What are you saying to me? Is this a true story I'm so sorry Replay once more for me
Once more 4 me Once more 4 me 4 me 4 me 4 me Once more 4 me
4 me 4 me 4 me Can you replay it 4 me 4 me 4 me Replay once more 4 me
Please restart the story

On my life

*[Note: black ink, full page. A faint interlineation above the first line reads "[?] you have"; in the last section "his ass" is written in above a crossed-out word; the stray word "Steele" is written below the end of one line in the third section.]*

All my life put it on my life they comin for my life
Put it on put it on I put it on my life I put it on all my life
I all my life like They

Don't step this way go on get on your way Gohan don't play
Fuck around catch Kamehameha wave straight to face
Just want rest and live in peace
Take you on a Journey to the West unleash Beast
You [Gay] Jr's do not want to catch either one of these
If they [sell] every one of you gonna all be deceased
[Feel] left feel rights serving last rites need a priest

Don't come closer Not supposed to I'm a emotional rollercoaster
This is to you cheers Like to toast to ya Pin you to a wall like [a] poster
I walk along lost as I roam wandering blindly trying to go home
Where the hell am I going I can't even see lost in my own dome
Feel high as Giraffe Sack I can't laugh crack jokes poke back roast on like smoke
Smack attack Kick in the ass crack Slice Dice and Hack Samurai Jack

Reckon I step in a wreck in White Devil check in cracking off like [Tekken]
Right hand left hand double deckin got his ass Rubber neckin in a second
Fuck with me or any of us quick to regret it
Chosen Outcasts mofucka [and] don't you forget it

Faces in the Rain

*[Note: black ink, top section only; the left edge is heavily highlighted/scribbled over, and a highlighted-over fragment sits above the first line.]*

Do you know how it be to be like me Can you see Faces in the rain? Faces in the rain
When alone [?] on my own Nobody No-body with me I see Faces in the [?]
Nobody beside me Nobody rides with me It just me as I see Faces in the rain
Faces in the mirror Faceless in Pain Probing my domain Where my soul does [?] I could complain
I think out loud I can't get out, not allowed can get up out too loud its to loud to [go out]
My window I look out Wind blows in comes the clouds the faces the Game still [?]
I see Faces in the Rain I see faces in the Rain

Kenny

*[Note: black ink, full page, two sections.]*

Kennedy ready to run it again with me [?] he can really get it with me give he [?] and get one
So we gonna run this shit back catch his hit smack him like I'm giving it to Whitney [?] before
[Wind] up really quickly let me guess what he gonna come up with to hit me please [?]
Present how my wit exceed what will be see it my mind it [?] for me more that's it I see [?]
Primarily to be fairly commonly surface level strictly what my skin pigment be and the day you support me
Don't need a crystal ball to see [?] me a [line] of crystal to breath I see it with ease
Then him to attempt to tease me

Let me think I got a lot on my brain
Let it sink in [soak] up all of my pain
Hit it with a [?] never [?]
Won't forget it as the WORLD turning around [Fate to step]
See sounds [from] broken heart call that disheartened
Found how bad love is with all my madness get [Spartanee]
[?] the talk man try to stay calm take a walk man
Shit slips hard man I can hear the beats talk man
I'm starting to [set] the eyes man Feeling like a prize man
Studying me on such a collegiate level I am the Heisman
I'm a writer and a fighter adrenaline built for you think I mean flaws
whenever I call myself a biter you don't know how mean it shows
I'm talking about taking your style No I'm trying turn you a steak up the
Have not had any protein and Me

Lost in a dark place

*[Note: black ink, full page. The opening lines are heavily worked over with cross-outs, and there is a heavy scribble below the verse. At the bottom of the page, written upside down (rotated 180°), are two names with phone numbers, plus a third line that is heavily crossed out and cut off at the photo's edge.]*

Lost in a dark place [crossed out: ?] stuck behind my face
Lost when I tried to cross the [?] All love has [caused] is scars Drop so many bars just like Mars
Take a drink if you understand it don't try to understand it I know you already [?] it
I know your ways I cannot stand it won't let you hand it over [?] it I command it [?]

Life sucks like a vacuum
Feel lost inside the Back Room
My muse [have] my tomb
Abandoned [halls] bath room
Out of gas [?] of fumes
If I don't fill up real soon
No way on my path resume
Over head I see it loom
Face 2 face with my doom
I breathe in death taste its perfume
Hit the reset big bang go boom
Swept off my feet witches broom
Death takes my hand to kiss its groom
Am I tripping someone slipping [us] shrooms must be I assume
Such a beautiful sight like flower Just bloom then I zoom
Back to resume my gloom alone in my room A.K.A my Tomb

*[Written upside down at the bottom of the page:]*
[a third line, heavily crossed out and cut off at the photo's edge]
816-217-1189 - Tiffany
913-207-8175 - Rick

Warrior

*[Note: black ink, top section only; the rest of the page is show-through.]*

I always knew that I'm [not destined] to reach an old age
That my story is to end with a blood soaked page
The drums of war in [?] part of my blood I can hear it
Become the Legendary as I am filled with the warrior spirit
Be the one if we were to clash that you shall not come near it
I know I'll die young but I welcome it I don't fear it
No I'm not one who turn back now I will stand my ground until the day I go [?]
Because I am a warrior ask around I am a warrior Once [?] [runs off right edge]
I am a warrior In my [foes] blood the world will drown

I'm not like most

*[Note: black ink, 5 lines at the top of the page; the rest is blank/show-through. A second photo of this same page was also sent and is not transcribed separately.]*

I'm not like most I am a living ghost
A wandering spirit this body is just a host
I've walked coast to coast I've froze I've roast
Whether whatever weather either night or day
Leather Jacket and my headphones to toes I'll make a way

Wonder

*[Note: black ink, full page, two pieces. In "Wonder," the words "programmed to be this" are an interlinear insertion above the last line. In the second piece several lines run off the right edge.]*

I wonder in the end [crossed out: ?]
I wonder guess just have to wait and see
I wonder when the end will actually be
I wonder if it means the end of me
I wonder if it will be what sets me free
I wonder if the simulation is set to repeat
I wonder if the system already complete
I wonder if the game is ongoing waiting 4 next DLC
I wonder if these are real people that I see
I wonder if there's others playing the same server as me
I wonder if it's just me and a bunch of NPC's
I wonder if any body is real or AI that think that they be
I wonder about such oddities what this strange curiosity
I wonder if I think of these things [crossed out: these thoughts] Naturally
I wonder if I'm just a bot [crossed out: ?] programmed to be this Artificially

My dear old former student
How have you grown so impudent
Guess [having] a set of your own and you went
acting like suddenly you're the one who's master and I student
I blessee you joining my old faction thinking I was doing a selfless action
Only to see horrible reaction your fraction now [crossed out: ?] acting like you're the [?]
Of my pen in action looks like that ego needs a bit of a subtraction
A bit of a [sluff] in three bruisers [?] either situation rappin or written clearly
Must I remind you the kind of mind that once upon a time you wanted one [runs off right edge]
And together we had climbed the [?] in my [?] is by stabbed [?]
I didn't turn on you and now I'll put the burn onto you [runs off right edge]
It's not you I'm master of both Sith and Jedi here I give you the [runs off right edge]
In a fight with a dead guy Oh can't forget to tell Red [?]
Talking like you gonna do something gonna get the Glock
I taught you better than to sound like everyone else on the block [runs off right edge]
Besides we both know on the [?] keep my guns under lock

My brain needs a drain

*[Note: black ink, full page. The first line has a heavily crossed-out section in the middle; a lone word "My" begins a line that was abandoned; the long verse section that follows is densely written.]*

My brain needs a drain with [crossed out: ?] filling it like rain
I can't maintain or contain this driving me Insane [?] switch [to] me
My

What are you gonna do when I die are you gonna cry don't lie I bet your eye stay
dry I know why

[Youngster] running his mouth so much I bet his tongue hurt try to fling dirt like it's [?] chant
Now when sting so I fling him face first in earth make him taste dirt case wants to be a [?]
[crossed out: ?] like I just let that [?] run wild
And we both know that someone who reads the Storm [?] Archive
that that [?] don't know where to go on the streets to get strapped boy we know to cap
I know you know I know we both smarter than that gonna have to try harder than that
Even if you got you get your hands on a [gat] then what boy you too pussy cat
If I got in your face with one to mine we'd be smelling the [?] you just [?]
I'll be begging you go on use that [?] make my brains Splat where's that
[?] boy just has [?] like big [bad] this Grim Reaper that boy you just a [?] rat
Not something let slugs to cap her shut your trap a [?] man gonna [?] that me please
I'm the Skywalker I'm the Vader The One with the [Brain] you Pinky [?]
Heavy is the Head that wears the Crown
So heavy its held down as it then drown
Unable to ever make a sound as [?] [?]
Not within the ground under a [?] dry mound.

The Bat

*[Note: black ink, 3 lines only; the rest of the page is show-through.]*

Right off the Bat I bring [?] pain
I'm the Bat I'm Bruce call me Mr Wayne
I'm bat shit Crazy baby or call me insane

In my head

*[Note: black ink. The upper piece is "In my head"; below it is a second piece written in two columns — the left column is transcribed first, then the right column, then a final line that spans the bottom under both columns. Faint writing at the very top of the page is show-through.]*

I'm in my head In my head my head
Come find me Come find me Find me
I feel dead why do I feel like I'm dead
Hear what I said can you hear what I said
These monsters are not under my bed they're in my head
They're in my head my head I live in my head
These monsters are in my head hear what I said
And under my bed [live] in my head the dead the dead fed to the dead
Being [nibbled] I'm being fed to the dead the dead fed to the dead
Its all red all red everything I see is a shade of red
Slowly all my blood is being shed being bled all I see is red

*[Left column:]*
She don't love me anymore
That cut me to my very core
She don't love me anymore
All of my texts she ignores
She don't love me any more
Just left my heart on the floor
Still beating [all] bloody and sore
there's a [hole] left from where she tore
She don't love me any more
She never told what for
Of course she feels no remorse
For being my [miseries] source
Of course I only made it worse

*[Right column:]*
I fall apart without my heart
You took my heart [crossed out: ?] ripped it apart
Now I start to fall apart
What am I to do without you
Look at what you reduced me to
What did I do for you to
Do me the way you chose
I'm doomed to lose
You just hit the snooze
I'm [?] with the blues

*[Final line, spanning the bottom:]*
I'm the sort to be [threatened] with a police report

Why do I feel that I won't Heal?

*[Note: black ink, 4 lines at the top only; the rest of the page is blank.]*

Why do I feel that I won't Heal?
I'm so tired. Tired of everything. How long can I do this?
Why even try knowing what I know? Do I really expect to change anything?
Do I even help anyone? Why am I so different? Why am I hated?

My Legacy

*[Note: black ink, 5 long lines at the top; the lines run off the right edge and the rest of the page is blank. The red writing beside the title is mirror writing — show-through from the back of the page — not a red addition.]*

When the time passes me by and In the blink of an eye
I die what will I be remembered By when time to [fry] or fly
I try to show why even if I cry and seems no light is shining
bright may be short in height but my might within me might [runs off right edge]
No more in sight I'm still standing for whats right I always [runs off right edge]

New Game

*[Note: black ink, dense full page — a working draft crowded with interlinear insertions and cross-outs; many lines run to or off the right edge, so a number of words could not be supported and are bracketed.]*

I got a plan you watch the man go let the minds throw as this STAN go poe
One foe on a damn hoe I'm no [?] pussy named [Andro 31] this [?] is a Dirty one twice that
31 flipped that shit to a 13 know what I mean I don't wait for Halloween to stick a [?]
gash like Charlie Sheen this killing machine is on a weekly routine [?]
[?] sure my [duty] to shoot some new gruesome scenes only shooters I do who do you think
I am only [?] fuck with is fly and for ink any other kind have no link
You have no clue who the fuck I am come up with something original listen to you
All [?] are saying are my bars and any other before you who threw at me [?] 812
Just like before none of your generic tactics [?] sticks The Boy [?] from the 816
Reshuffle the deck make sure to Inspect check the specs you defect reject
Better not neglect the details got you [?] up cause a wreck might [?] [?]
Speaking of Tech I'm from his town I've personally in person have been given his respect
next subject [?] man thinking he Like Mike keep pacing with Jason [?] [?]
Nobody heard of you from Indiana to Kentucky probably why you felt need to go and [?]
Jelly basic bitch sound like you trying to fuck one this sassy must think I be puffy
Did he see me [?] he [crossed out: ?] think I'm pretty [?] to my [?] I want him to hit me like he be Diddy
[?] might get [?] and [?] your jaw and no not because he big
I'm ready to play this game where pain is the law I'm the [?] master [call] me Jigsaw

My Pen Pal, From Hell

*[Note: black ink prose letter, full page; long flowing lines. The salutation is written "Dear [Scooter]" — see report note.]*

Dear [Scooter]

Hey there my trash brother. I have something I'm betting is pretty similar
to the way you must be feeling about. I know the feeling of placing my heart
into someone investing everything you have managed to scrape together for yourself despite
the odds expecting the payout to finally have the life you've always wanted as
the ideal picture perfect life of someone who wants nothing much more than that [?] a proof
a set of wheels warm tasty meals, a woman to love and who returns the way he feels, a woman's
loving touch to your heart that heals the damage you use anything to numb the [scars] but instead that
angel's hand you placed your heart in turns to a cold lifeless loveless talons that punctures
your heart as it mercilessly rips [into] you as she steals it. Those eyes you used to believe
showed that spark of love as a gentle yet firm light from [?] warming gaze now show
Nothing but darkness that reveals only the frighteningly intense burning glow
[?] like burning embers in a grill of logs in a campfire that you never realize lies below
the surface with a purpose only of [forging] and scorches that tortures and smirks amused
as she hurts us and burns us consuming the entirety of your world leaving you shirtless
and utterly worthless making love feel like you may have actually deserve this and to you
convinces the abuser and abusee roles [reversed]

Do you know what it's like to be

*[Note: black ink, two short sections at the top of the page; the heavy writing below is show-through.]*

Do you know what it's like to be
A god controlling your own reality
To change it to be as you wish it to see
Yet [crossed out: ?] one place above to be

I have lucid dreams of gruesome scenes hear let loose [?]
Scary as it seems but they are not from me No when the demons see
They be who try to flee But its not to be heard I be heard I [saw] them free

Fake

*[Note: blue ink, full page. "Fake" is written above the crossed-out title "My Journey Walls"; the first line is also crossed out. The long stretched-out spellings are transcribed as written.]*

[crossed out: My Journey Walls]
[crossed out: In a dangerous world where monsters growl]
I
Oh Oh Oooh No No Nooo Here we gooo
Gooo Gooo Goooo Yuh Yuh aye Ayo
Everything I see anywhere I gooo
It's all the same as befooo
Like everything else I knooow
Fake everything is Fake All Fake just for Shooow
Everyone Everywhere I go Fake It just fake it as if I don't know
They fake it I can't take it just break it just wanna explode
Fake it why they be faking got me shaking both in sleep and waking
I keep taking in all this faking I can't keep taking all the faking its breaking
My mind my reality constantly shaking nonstop Earth quaking Whoa [? — runs off right edge]
Fake hair Fake [care] Fake store Fake love Fake Snake Fake tough Fake rough Fake things Fake Drugs
Fake plug Real guns Real slugs Real graves [crossed out: ?] and real docks being real today

Easy

*[Note: black ink, full page. A second photo of this same page was also sent and is not transcribed separately.]*

If you claim to love me
Only to turn around and leave me
Think to aim to shoot me
[Away] forget me best believe me
Think you can just tease me
Then [set] about my breeze me
Turn icy just freeze me
I wont let it be that easy
No I wont let it be that EASY
Think its the first time I been did greasy
Made to look the fool say things so cheezy
Got me queesy pressure up and squeeze me
[Stop] be pleasing as I can't seem to breathe
Put me out like a burning ember still underneath
Got that dog in me here's my damn teeth
Think you can just show me love and leave
Then theres something that you better well believe
to be an [?] as I then just swerve
I don't care if it sounds creepy or cheezy
I won't dare let it be so damn Easy

Rest in Piss

*[Note: blue ink, 3 long lines only; "RIP" is crossed out before the title. The rest of the page is show-through of the "Easy" page.]*

First one I want to say, I'm not the one who set this in play
But I'm not scared to play, I don't care how many of you I gotta then slay,
White [belts] [crossed out: ?] a sunset / I stack em up, somebody come put em away

Truth

*[Note: black ink. Two columns of short questions — the left column is transcribed first, then the right column, then a final line spanning the bottom. The left column's last line is crossed out.]*

*[Left column:]*
What is the truth?
How to deduce
Am I a sleuth?
What is the use?
Is it rotten like a tooth?
[crossed out: What's the cause of the a]

*[Right column:]*
What is the truth?
Does it seduce?
Is it blind to youth?
Why do we refuse?
Can it be found in the booth?
What's cause for abuse? Will I lose to a noose?

*[Final line:]*
I don't think you want to know that Truth

Watch me [?] me fall

*[Note: red ink top section, then a few lines in black ink; two small red doodle marks sit lower on the page.]*

Watch me [?] me fall
Ignore my text Ignore my call
As I fall watch me fall
As I pace back and forth in the hall
I have no one by side no lie
I may go and decide to go die
I have so many demons to go fight
Have so many more lines to go write
I have no memory of last time I felt right
Lord oh Lord can you help provide light for my sight
Can you gave me strength to live another night
Dont wanna die but don't like being alive
Don't know what to do what if I don't survive
I highly doubt I make it another [?]

Why do I gotta wake up can I [get] a shake up
Can you go and backup Idk just wake up
Something to go break up [crossed out: ?] day
That make it so don't make my day suck

Think you on my level no way

*[Note: blue ink, top section only; the second line is crossed out, and there is a further crossed-out fragment with an insertion above it before the "But not everyone" line. The rest of the page is show-through.]*

Think you on my level no way
[crossed out: We all have role to play]
To become this Devil is my role to play
I read it from the book of holy words that say
When a man fell to hell rose to Heaven the worlds final day
It's just Fate the way paved for me
I don't want this wish [crossed out: ?] I'm sorry
[crossed out: this was [?] late]
But not everyone is born to be the hero of the story
Someone has to be the villain and get a little gorey
Surprisingly when I got to killin saving started to bore me

The Beauty of Pain

*[Note: black ink, very long dense prose-poem page, credited at the top "JonnyC + MrBlu" and "JonnyBlu". Many lines run off the right edge into an ink smudge; those endings are bracketed. There are interlinear insertions throughout.]*

When I think of true beauty it's kinda hard to explain
I think that beauty in its most purest any of can [?] attain
While looks can help beauty itself is not decided by sight
Beauty is not decided by slight but felt that washes over you like falling rain
While looks are nice and may help [being] attractive beauty is within your heart contain
I've see very many people being some of the ugliest people I find it insane
When your heart is [pure] bitter hateful then true beauty cannot be attained if you care to explain
In my brain its whats in your heart what it does contain there are many types of pure [?] the rain
Important the [purest] to attain the truest form of Beauty is the Beauty of Pain
In the many forms of Beauty the truest to attain is the Beauty of Pain
Most beautiful beauty is the Beauty of Pain the purest beauty of all is the Beauty of Pain
The strongest connection to the soul that has been [?] whole heart [?] to make whole
To have a heart ripped again and again that has wished for death to claim [?] between the come
To have hurt so so much to crave the same thing you fear for the soul it has given [?] the most have
To know [?] to be [?] you always still put you into an early grave
Is the absolute purest form of beauty you could possibly ever learn to attain
Despite the fear your heart does contain and still choose display all of your deepest pain
After you survived the storm the hurricane and still show the world to fear the rain
To feel it all wash away you survived the storm yet you still remain
To have been completely Broken and still here and reforged the chain
To have cut down tortured so inhumane thought you were slain to forever carry your stain
To have lost everything you have ever been able to have [?]
Yet despite it all maintained the strength to remain Once again facing the pain
Yes the truest form of beauty the most pure form of True Beauty is the Bea[runs off right edge]
The truest beauty of the many forms is the True Beauty of Pain Beauty of [runs off right edge]
The most beautiful form you can ever attain is The Beauty of Pain Pai[runs off right edge]
Of Pain. The most beautiful Beauty to attain is the True Beauty of Pai[runs off right edge]
The Beauty of Pain how it does impress
Beauty of Pain that point I must Stress
Oh how it captures my interest keeping me hook and obsessed
[crossed out: The purest feeling the]
The Pain purifies your soul like the feeling the falling Rain
The Beauty of Pain The Beauty of Pain
The Beauty of Pain

Give

*[Note: red ink, four pieces on one page divided by a vertical line — top-left "Give", top-right "I Can't", bottom-left "Hypnotized", bottom-right an untitled piece beginning "I'm guilty of wanting to give it up" — transcribed in that order. "Give" ends with a small "Hook" marker.]*

Whenever I am asked if I want to live
They get upset by [answers] that I give
Give Give Give If answer that I give
Give Give Give I don't give a damn
I lay it out there bare [?] ill to exam
And [?] for the [?] just as strong
I do anything for ones loved and my fam
Also if I want to live I don't give a damn
Hook

I Can't

I can't keep doing this
I'm not fine
I can't keep doing this
I ain't got the time
I can't get another restart
I can't feel my broken heart
I can't separate from my art
I can't afford the [?] in my heart
I can't [breathe] as I hide I pant
I can't help acting small as an ant
I can't stop myself from [?] chant
I can't I can't I just can't
Give it up

Hypnotized

When I looked into those blue eyes
Blue blue eyes of such huge sized
I was caught up instantly Hypnotized
I should of have realized
You were all I have fantasized
Why didn't I stop and realize
No matter what I do or try lies
Right out of my reach I'm hypnotized
Only going to end with my cries
Simply because I never get the prize
I wish I could forget those eyes
Those blue blue eyes Big Blue eyes
I wish I had just realized
That would disappear after you had me Hypnotized

I'm guilty of wanting to give it up

I'm guilty of wanting to give it up
You were everything to me [couldn't] get enough
When you left it had me bad so [?]
The [?] were [?] so damn much
Life is so bland I need to go live it up
Starving I need [to eat] never get enough
Now I'm guilty I want to give it up
Life is so bland I need to live it up
My moral I need to get it up
My depression need to [set] it up
My routine need to switch it up
[?] cell no one even [?] that
I'm in a cell [?] need to walk up
Need a friend [?] muck it up
[crossed out: I'm thinking of giving]
I don't want to build
Want to Give it Up

I need to learn to go I never let go when I need to

*[Note: black ink, full page.]*

I need to learn to go I never let go when I need to
Why does I do burn

Do you know what its like?
To live everyday in afterlife
Do you know what its like?
Days are rife with strife
I do know what that is like
To the windpipe placed my knife
To feel it slice when I close my eyes
Fate sealed twice then time froze I realize
Realized how all my life goes [?]

I don't know no I don't know why would I wanna know
I don't want to know no I don't wanna know [crossed out: ?]
So don't tell me so don't tell me how it go I dont wanna know
Please don't tell me it would go no don't try to Show dont know
Why on earth what make you think I would wanna know
I already feel low that makes me wanna go make brain blow
Good night that's it folks all she wrote
I don't know no I don't and rather keep it as so the less I know
The better it'll go I never wanna know try to keep it so [?]

Why would I want to know about you and whom
I would rather chop off one of my own limbs
Rather take the boat out in the winter go for a swim
Rather take on 8 dudes [stamped] out wearing timbs
Than to know a single second about you two's time you spend
I don't want to know about begin middle or in the end
Don't you dare type me as [just] a letter followed by send

Do Better

*[Note: black ink. Four faint lines at the top, a squiggle mid-page, then a second short section at the bottom; in that section "feline" is first crossed out and "softer than a feline" written in.]*

What the fook was that my guy?
I'm going to not count it let you retry
To redo some rhymes this time here I
Don't waste my time really

You a house cat pussy boy [crossed out: feline] softer than a feline
Think you kitten spitting boy who you kiddin like a kitten
I'm real dog a [warhound] hellhound demonic K-9
Best be a kitten you're pit against a Pit give a shake when bitten [?] it

What are You Doing in my Swamp?!?

*[Note: black ink, 3 long lines only; "Dirty Lizard" is underlined beneath the heading. The rest of the page is blank.]*

Waking up often leaving Fiona's green [?] a wreck belongs to Big Shrek
Catch a whiff of green stank dick Shrek be rockin it shockin adrenaline high at
Snatch a fist of that red hair [plait] face in space her morning snack [Gimme] that princess neck

On the House

*[Note: black ink, top section only, with "Hook" marked beneath the heading.]*

This is on the House the one I moved out
Then now they try to move on me no doubt
Most of that crew I have no issue [except] for two
Them two are the ones who brought this about
Them two fools be hypocrites who point and shout
to keep what they do from view by [shifting] it on who
They don't like [for] doing what they can't so they pout
Just a fool doubled up thinkin hes cool and a [40 yo] man hater in need of her back blown out
Just some young fool doubled up tool with a 40 yo man hater needing back blown out

Hard

*[Note: black ink, several short sections.]*

I don't know who the fuck you think you are
You not hard not royal at all take it to the yard
Let me see you [got] bar

You're up against a madman I can be [mutant] and man a senior Gentleman
Throw this so fast get hit in your [?] left, right, left, right, right and it with a backhand
Put you on your back man quicker before your ass land

I move differently unlike anyone else you see No other like me
or will ever be my reasonings for everything As mad as they seem

I'm drifting through time I'm lifting through rhyme
I'm sifting through grime I'm shifting through minds

What am I doing? I don't know

*[Note: red ink, top section only; the rest of the page is show-through.]*

What am I doing? I don't know Just continuing down the road I go
What are you pursuing? Just to show with [bust] grind to reach to let skills call
Put in too much to just fade to dust to succeed is a must in god and my [?] I place my trust
So I keep on going with this mind glowing with no slowing one day I'll be showing
I am someone the world will be knowing everything in this I keep throwing
Will be no either or so I grab my oar and keep on rowing
Even if its blistering hot or blizzard snowing [By] chance will not be blowing
If it tears my heart apart I'll [get] just keep on sewing
Even if I get lost my destination I am knowing
So down my path I keep on going

Aim at the Horde

*[Note: red ink; three short sections — "Aim at the Horde", "Nice", and an untitled verse — then 3 lines in black ink at the bottom, transcribed as written.]*

Those who wanna come for me Better not bore me
If you gunnin for me Better really gun for me

Nice

You don't understand a thing about me or

Those who want to come for me like publicity stunts fake story
wannabe foes just cunts cum for me [?] more than once [?] by Dory
When I flow they smoke not blunts choke on rounds shit might get gory

I ready [?] you are
OK I think so lets go
This question [?] by Zarre

Devils Things

*[Note: a black title line at the top reads "White boy Summer New Comer [crossed out: ?]", followed by a black line "Its the white boy Summer I'm the New Comer Come for war now and a"; the piece itself is red ink, very dense, full page, lines running to the right edge.]*

I walk a lonely road the only one I've ever known
I talk to myself I'm the only soul around I'm all alone
I check my phone but nobody called me back I'm on my own
It's so cold my heart frozen as solid as a stone open to be shown
It's deep scars from below cut down to the bone
Into this dark abyss I've been thrown my mind is a battle zone
As the ongoing battle unravels I continue my travels on my own
I fight on despite hearing my own death [rattle] I refuse to be herded like some cattle
As my blood splattered I [broke] I shatter made aware to no one does it matter
I did not initiate I retaliate yet I catch the hate I don't appreciate
How friends state [crossed out: ?] My actions are the reasons to irritate to frustrate
They indicate I am wrong to criminate that I'm the villain and [first] I eliminate
Damn right I'm the villain [?] way I'm killin blood spillin my pen too great
Sorry you can't relate only apology I state nobody is innocent so for you all I wait
For y'all to meet you're untimely fates and see y'all at Hells Gates as [inmates]
Any who think you can try to intimidate me and force me to isolate
I'm too nice with it though I decimate any no hesitate none able to locate
Any of your remains hand the devil the reigns he straight decapitates
Lacerates castrates make sands [stain] level of blood rains disintegrate incinerates
Anything left after your bodies are souls separate I'll prepare on dinner plates
So if any of you wanna step up [batter] to the plate I'll gladly assist you to your fates
I'll show you what happens when this white Devil decides hell to bring
I will kill till I had my fill with words that more than stings
Slaughter indiscriminately a getting both peasants and kings
Stories so gory so grim well deserving of hell cause I'm one of the Devils Thin[runs off right edge]

I did everything I can to become a better man

*[Note: red ink upper section, then black ink sections at the bottom, with small interlineations. A short black fragment block sits at the right of the second black section.]*

I did everything I can to become a better man
I did everything I could [so] the demon letter man
Now don't [give] me wrong wish we couldn't get along
But sometimes I feel less like [simply people] more like King Kong
I need to have peace to become but it thinks the Beast is too damn strong
The key to him escape fate is freed through violence in my [?]
The way to escape fate is pedal to the metal become the Dani
Straight at Hells Gate beat the final level became the [?]
The Proud Rebel clear the foretold upcoming schedule give in to your ways
To the final days as you through the final plays the final stage of the modern Age the final Phase
[Are] feel the case from page closing in push aside feeling afraid your own blaze
to free your [?] to use to rewrite upon the pages of destiny rewrite fate
Take your axe in your hands wipe your history clear away misery [?]
After that to [?] tracks Finally set yourself free relish victory live truly free

Maybe thats not quite the path meant for me
Maybe I have got a slightly different part in this story
I mean after all didn't God dictate how it all will be in his glory
Maybe I'm not here to help others heal Maybe thats not why I can feel what they feel
Maybe I should be a bit more real Maybe [write] a good deal should stick to myself
Maybe I [?] help others to heal is more to help rebuild [?] not skilled by ways to build
My hands are not made to build not [?] healing I feel
Mine are skilled by ways [?] to [?] meaning I [?] sense [?] can [?]

*[Fragment at the right:]*
Sense [?] can [?]
Energy is [Driving] Feelings and motion
To [?] vibrations feels
and [?] through control

[crossed out: ?] when I close my eyes and clear my mind
I don't know how to [?] peace [?] I find
Being drawn to such a glorious light that nearly blinds
Shines such a light its truly unlike any other kind
Not only do I see it I feel it a feeling at first type
A feeling I [?]

I wonder how many lives I have lived

*[Note: black ink, full page in two visual blocks. The second block has a dense right-side column of shorter lines, partly scribbled over — the main text is transcribed first, then the right column.]*

I wonder how many lives I have lived how many times have I
lived died and came back am I the same every time?
Personally I believe I have lived through a cycle of the same
Set of people in every every era throughout all history to the end
And from the beginning multiple times and I believe its always a tragic
life in every life

I find it funny you think your truth is the only truth that [?] needs [?] naked
I'm calling it right now like I'm Babe Ruth
If I were you don't think I'd do that
Or I'll show you I'm part Man and a bit [Beast]
When get to think I'm White Bron
The way King J dunks on
Get a [face] full of this long Jon

*[Right column:]*
Musta mis took me
I'm polite none as crook [?]
No whip can [?] cook me
Got you leaking a bit shook [?]
You don't get pussy from the [?]
You gobble dick like [?] cookie
[?] I'm a beast [?] Wookie
[?] Snoopy
The [?] note [?] Snoopy
[?] Rookie
Bet you can't [?] sorry my Boobie

I am not like any other

*[Note: black ink. A two-column page plus bottom sections — the left column is transcribed first, then the right column (which continues into a second block below), then the bottom sections. Faint red/blue writing at the very top is show-through.]*

*[Left column:]*
I am not like any other [?] guarantee
You won't find any other quite like me
[?] me go there try and see
Any other like me there won't be
I'm the one and the only me
x2
No matter where you look you will find
That I'm truly one of a kind

The Lizard has been [?]
Has been waiting
The reptile has slept a while breezy
Time
Contemplating to maneuver
Ready to get to baring a bite of
[Sunken]

*[Right column:]*
Yeah I may be emo
I know when I'm go find yourself Nemo
We may be underground we the premo
[?] figure me out got you guys [?]
For your bitch chemo
Got you feeling green all you [?]
Never know when or where we go
All you know you be below
Drip when the [?] might still flow
[?] other way [?] finds grief foe

Beware life is not fair
Dont be scared be aware
Life is not fair to be fair
Do so if you dare go there
Death has me in his stare
Calling me downstairs
Falling into Nightmares
Box it up all into [Huge] sequences

*[Bottom sections:]*
Call me [?] just like Slim Shady
Shady made me a [?] Shady baby

[?] so invite him in then bite [?] fly the man in [?] just [?] the step
Of Brighton men I'm a [?] Violent in the way I [?] in day light or men tricky slightly
With [crossed out: Spider-Man] swing go with Slinging lines got him going goblin hoblin no [?] down
Call me Spider-Man thing but darker be mean indeed I mark her father mean whatever me other
Get a Peter to Parker harder than even Tony Starker than Sparker my evil [?] Deeds [?] all back
by Bob Barker

Pen Pal From Hell

*[Note: title page — "Pen Pal From Hell" in big blue and red letters, signed "JC Henley" beneath the title, then a prose letter with a red salutation and the first lines in red ink, the rest in black ink. This is a different "Pen Pal From Hell" letter from the one earlier in this batch (page 27, "Dear [Scooter]").]*

Dear Rimy

Hey bud heard about the move to Traphouse thats awesome. I really did enjoy it there almost regret
leaving them. Almost Because if I would've stayed I
probably would've Never met you especially with DJ. "wow"
He had going on. He couldn't just let stuff go.
Ultimately that was his downfall and undoing. You should.
take note from the lesson he provided. How petty get backs
and the cost for revenge ruined a great thing D'Lip had going
But to be honest that was doomed from conception. Before the official
departure from Traphouse. I think he planned from the jump to form
a new group and just get as many people he could just to try and tear down
Traphouse. Safe to say he failed horrible. Thats all the group was for when
He doesn't care about anything except his get back.

Let go of your Anger

*[Note: red ink, top section only; the rest of the page is show-through.]*

I know you can do this lets do this let it go
Let go of your anger let go let it go let go of your anger
You have to let it go listen pull it out from within
Let it flow let it go give up control let it flow
Stop resisting it start assisting it
Some times not all the time but sometimes

Might want to get back

*[Note: top-left black section (untitled), top-right red section titled "Bow", then a long red section below spanning the page — transcribed in that order.]*

Might want to get back
A fight with me don't [?]
I'm sure not [?] to [?] cat
And be no top [?] go small
Disarm this member won't finish me [?]
So shocking [?] go zap
[?] to think "It's a Trap"
When they come to [?] my prospect in Rap
You a [?] doodle got no class get slap

Bow

A fight with me don't recommend
You [won't] like how it will end
Take my word to heed my friend
You won't like the way I [make] over here
The twists to your intestines is destined
To [?]

If I were you right now I'd take a bow Yeah right about now bow
Down bow down right about now take a bow Show me how you pay respect so now
Bow down bow down bow down to to a god this hard think I'm from Asgard
Got that zap on tap get Slapped with thunderclap when I attack no Cap
Got that zap on tap get slapped thunderclap blow your cap back spat
I'm a god no facade on god [fishing] is me
I'm a god no facade fighting me be foolish taking my hammer a lightning rod on god
Cause a sighting so exciting they be [writing] my deeds indeed eternally applaud
You don't know me Nothing you can show me you lowly you be a lower monster [?]

You don't know me

*[Note: red ink, two short sections.]*

You don't know me [crossed out: ?] don't know about me
Don't know how to [?] nor don't want to be
Could never be [?] try to see
I'm unnatural an actual supernatural entity

The 19th

Soon the 19th will be here
Its not really [?] fear
More of a deep darkness draws near
[crossed out: I felt have they]

I see ghosts everywhere I go

*[Note: red ink full page — an untitled ghosts verse at the top (its last three lines are in black ink, plus a lone word below), then a titled piece "The Ghost".]*

I see ghosts everywhere I go the [?]
Look at me like a host don't want them there don't get a vote
These ghosts won't let me go grab a hold of my throat
These ghosts do in me dirty tryin to [?] take me out before 30
They feared me pray heard me say [?] I'm on my way they [?] leave me
Said Heaven ain't for me No Heaven for me not for me
Told me I'm not worthy not worthy I'm unworthy
Said get that out of my head that I'm already dead already dead
Asked me if this is Heaven? No I'm dead and went to Hell instead
Is this Heaven? They said I'm already dead went to Hell instead
Told me I'm not worthy not worthy I'm unworthy
Undeserving no reserving its unnerving to Satan they be serving
[Fathoms]

The Ghost

Both time and space I tread across
All the while I place over my shoulder a cross
Recall my trial I wince reminded of all that loss
To tell asker does not [?] so I turn and I toss
Turns when guilt of my past [gotta] fist bites like Jaws
Scalp in blood spilt through gashes [?] last bit of guaze
I just tour through for I'm not scared a follower of natural laws
I'm cursed even if I die which I have check the clause
I'm doomed to always rise up never to stop in [tatus] claws
Examine the Book of the Dead every damn page
No where [?] is my name eternal is my cage
I'm the Ghost of Wrath Ghost of Rage
I'm the most cursed of path goes through every Age
I'm the Ghost of the forever wandering Stranger
To never fall no matter the level of danger
I'm the ghost of Anger the drums of war I'm the bringer
The Ghost of the endless saga I am the ghost of Sparta
The spirit of vengeance who [?] most of the [?] Ones I am the Ghost

I wonder do I belong here or am I a Beyonder

*[Note: black ink, full page. He hyphenates "under-" and "wonder-" compounds oddly throughout ("under-neath", "under-stand", "wonder-"); two lines carry small interlinear insertions ("one of", "I'm"). The faint reversed title at the top is show-through of the "Monsters" page.]*

I wonder do I belong here or am I a Beyonder
I'm under the impression its gonna hurt like a strike of thunder
I wonder if underneath my face lies another
I wonder if my Mother wishes to change her son for some other
If I'm under the influence of pills gotten from one of my brothers
I wonder if [forever] Dear Mother if you could would you had me smothered
I understand I'm not like the others Yeah already got that covered
I wonder my brothers do you understand the pressure that I'm under
Yes sir I understand my time is done here and I see another [year] really starting
to kick it in gear [now] here's what I fear well love yall its time I disappear
I wonder if underneath my face lies another
I understand that my life is over I'm sorry Mother
I wonder If life would different if I was someone other
I understand I will be punished sorry for all the trouble
I wonder How my life would've looked if it wasn't [all] rubble
I'm under probation looks like my time just got double
I wonder [crossed out: ?]

Monsters

*[Note: red ink (the title also written vertically in the left margin, in black), one long section — its last two lines are in black ink and are joined by a hand-drawn brace — plus a 3-line section below in black ink.]*

I got monsters monsters not under my bed [?] monsters
No they all live inside my head instead so many monsters
And they want to see me dead see me dead On me they fed
From them I'm always being fed by lies being said filling me with dread
Monsters living with monsters dealing with these Monsters
These Monsters extorting me like demented Monsters I'm their [lobster]
Eating at me my humanity about all gone it haunts my curse
Cheating me out of my sanity losing touch of reality [?]
He is [?] gone sir the Monsters plan to be rid of me so they [?]
Forth the end of me reinstate this innocent entity in place of me their Demon [?] King
What they do to me they do it brutally Nothing new to me how I be usually

Monsters Monsters I can't hide from these Monsters Monsters
Monsters Monsters I feel like I'm a monster Monster I'm a monster
I'm no poser no sir move closer for exposure end in your closure

Page 55 — Here I go let me go watch me go

[Dark blue ink. "NF" written large at the top of the page, apparently in pencil/graphite. Two-column layout in the lower half, divided by a hand-drawn vertical line. Heavy show-through from the next page below; not transcribed. "816" written at the bottom left.]

Here I go Let me go watch me go Don't let go
Down I go I don't know what to so If you say so

Hey You How've you? I miss you
I wish to see you but I got it you don't wish too theres still less [?]
with you and me that I wish there wasn't any but there be many
Yeah plenty lost count it numbs me twenty

[Left column:]
Life is unfair so unfair
when no one care none are there
I don't know where spare
any info that you can share
I don't know where I swear
Don't know where they he [?]
I only know its not with me
How long since did last see
Any body can recall honestly
I live in Isolation permanent vacation
any interaction perform my reaction

[Right column:]
I know I know I know You know?
hold on don't you dare ever let go
Life will go on somehow slow

---

Page 56 — A Devil with A Dream

[Title in red ink; "NF" written large above it in dark ink. First section in red ink, rest in dark blue/black ink. Some words crossed out and rewritten. Edge writing from the adjacent page visible at right; not transcribed.]

A Devil with A Dream

[Red ink:]
That man tossed in Hell it sadly seems
Why do I dream I
Why do I dream about you why do I?
I still dream of you why do I? why?
When I dream everytime I wake up and I cry. Why do I cry?
It starts long before I ever open my eye. I cry. None
I find yet other nights still wandering my mind [?] I grind
These dreams are so amazing so [heavy?] they're the worst kind come to mind
Yes the worst kind they're why I cry. Everytime in my [?]
Thats why I usually don't sleep I try tend sleep Impossible goal to keep
Furthest I made was a week Let me tell you my madness was at its peek
Began dreaming without sleep My memories sweep over me that keep I weep
Its my curse my heart is in her purse love is the [?] which is worse of course
For Me seem Its impossible to escape my dream ooh why do I dream?
Tell me why do I dream

Listen up I have for you a little story
[crossed out: Hopefully]

Something is coming I keep on running Its coming for me

[Two columns run together with a hand-drawn dividing line; left column, then right:]
I just can't believe
I begged you not to leave
What couldn't I see
What you wanted in to me
Knew It wasn't to be
Kind of my curse I'd never be free
threw me out exstream [?] to the sea
Cost of all eternal misery
Now the reaper comes here For me

I couldn't even conceive
Thumbing illegally as I grieve
Lies of love that would lead
Aces of Heartless breed
Such a tragic travesty
A life Chosen only for adversity
Lost cold case unsolved Mystery
Like nothing left but only lonely History

---

Page 57 — Still Alive

[Dark ink. "Better Call Saul" show-through at the top is from the next page; not transcribed. Several small insertions written above lines.]

Still Alive

I feel like I never died like I'm still Alive
I've been telling you so many times/ Still Alive now until end of times
Survived been dwelling through all my Rhymes/ Never lying in any of my lines
How many times do I gotta tell you 4 you 2 finally see that its true
How any time you need me there 4 you 2. Call me see me pulling through
Call at any time on the drop of a dime like how I drop on a rhyme Crawl at in this heart of mine
All is good tell you all is fine least I woke the click then time is still mine let me remind
Even in the pen part of me this light of mine bright like your SKIS think its the sun how it shine
Know I'm not lying Some rhymes get you crying blow your mind forgot why you were crying why you crying?
I go on I'm not dying no matter how many times you see me dying need 2 realize everytime I open my eyes
Why are you still suprised with every fall you see me rise my eternal curse is forever your prize
You are not hearing these magical lies to you come here over every sunrise look in my eyes do you see lies?
Told you I'm not like any of them other guys I'm real no Pinocchio my nose still same size
No matter what schemed by any demon or anytime the devil tries always will answer your cries
Died almost thousand times everytime I still survive No matter how many [bombs?] I'm still Alive

I Survived thousands of times running out of dimes to buy another life stay Still Alive
I arrived in the afterlife laughter my chapter just getting started death wherever she hides
Still Alive Tagline Still Alive how am I still alive somehow Alive I am Still Alive

They say I'm Still Alive But I'm not sure If I did survive
Somehow someway maybe someday maybe one day I will revive

---

Page 58 — Better Call Saul

[Red ink throughout.]

Better Call Saul

I know what people want to hear
I know how grim the truth grinning ear to ear
To look death in the tooth, sinning and winning a profit here
I took many different phone numbers to make you disappear
I know many bad men names clean
I know the system and played it to have many bad men names clean
Causing many powerful people to celebrate to cheer
So I have much appreciation to last me to my last year
I have a 6th 7th senses to know when danger draws near
And for knowing how end it with a rather slippery career
The 7th for being able to smell opportunity soon as one may appear
Best at my game done earned that claim don't believe me check the name
Better Call Saul Better call Saul Better Call Saul Goodman
Because it's all good man It's all good man Better Call Saul Goodman
I shook up the game when I took up the name now look up my fame
Better Call Saul Better Call Saul Better Call Saul Goodman
Birth name Jimmie Mcghill a con man with true skill
A true professional at making a wicked [?] bill [?]
If theres connections to be found still in Jimmy will
I know when to make the call and when to call
A master at work summoning these assholes in weird form
My brother Chuck worries I'm just gonna hurt people get myself killed

---

Page 59 — Odd Ball

[Red ink, top of page only; rest of the page is show-through from the next page. A word after "Odd" in the title is scribbled out; "Ball" also overwritten.]

Odd [scribbled out] Ball

I'm such an odd Ball People don't know what to call this
I don't care at all Pucker up give to [?] a Kiss
I watch their jaws fall

---

Page 60 — Today

[Dark blue ink. One line crossed out mid-page ("I just find out"), with a replacement line written alongside.]

Today

I don't know what to say
I know it's not but it's ok
I don't want you to cry today
Even if you find out I die today
I finally get to go fly today
I don't know what else to say
[—] what else is there I can say
I hope you can find a way
To not break down and cry today
I'm sorry if you cry today
I hope to see you again one day
But I hate to say this my last day
I ask you for my soul please pray
I don't want you to cry today
Even if you find out that I die Today

---

Page 61 — The Captain

[Title and first section in red ink; second section in black ink. Some words crossed out and rewritten in both sections.]

The Captain

[Red ink:]
[The?] I'm tired so damn tired
I feel the inner fire burning [?]
At war against the titans
Dodging the jaws as they biting
Sticky notes Never stop fighting
I win cut through hurt be fool
Like I so fucking surgical

[Black ink:]
Yes I know I can be hard to reach
Yes I know I'm different than they teach
Guess I am not what it is you seek
Guess none really wants a real freak
Like the one who to you now I speak
Wipe my eyes down my cheek tears leak
Swipe my prize drown in wreck
To be fair life is unfair what is fair is there? perfect
They say they care say always right there they're not there
They said they were there they were not there never there never care

---

Page 62 — Gus

[Title in red ink; body in dark blue ink, in three sections.]

Gus

I feel like I'm Nothing that really Matters
Something that breaks apart in the wind just scatters
Took my heart ripped apart left in bloody tatters
From the start felt like none of this shit matters
I keep falling I keep calling

I wonder why I am in Hell why am I locked in this cell
Wonder what made me fell As far as I can seem to tell

I have so many monsters inside my brain
The cause of so much of my own torment & pain
They are alive and they drive me insane
I don't know when it's time for me to go
Time will only show when it arrives baby I will know
The darkness in me continues to grow up the stream I row
It's in the seams like weaves and sew I deem to believe it's so
This life isn't how I dreamed it go Rock Bottom always be this low
How long can I keep this up I don't know Don't know if I ever blow
That's something only time will show against the odds if the Gods will it so
I don't know when it's time for me to go I'm sorry bro
When the time does arrive then I will know then I must go

---

Page 63 — Continue on down this road I roll

[Red ink throughout, top portion of the page; heavy show-through below. Opens mid-piece — the piece begins on a page not in this set (see page 42 of this batch).]

Continue on down this road I roll
Crossing bridges dealing another damn troll
Demanding to get hence over the damn toll
Pay up immediately better pay it in whole
Wait who is it talking to me not playing with this asshole
Enflame it with the very same flames that took my soul
The Hell fire is mine and mine alone to control
Ain't a game homie Ain't no console
Ain't a love show me Came from the MO
Stay in the cold or be knowing a death that come slow
Aint gotta that dog in you just a soft ankle biter
Dumb motherfucker talking tough to a real fuckin fighter
What kind of lines are those and you call yourself a writer
When buying a carton you are — like I said you came everythings out my [?] pure fire
You think you got that spark guarantee my spark brighter
When buying a carton you be tired Cheap Crack lighter
I'm a full tank of propane with the igniter
You ain't no demon you weak spitter I am Ghost Rider

---

Page 64 — Why do you Children think you're man enough

[Three pieces on one page: a red-ink piece at top, a black-ink piece headed "When I'm Alone," and a two-column black-ink verse below.]

### Why do you Children think you're man enough

[Red ink:]
Why do you Children think you're man enough to come against me?
Homie gonna atleast let your balls drop if you wanna try to convince me
The demon in me never relents & tends to serial killer tendencies
Demonstrating Reliability in killing a liability to committing obscenities
If you been hating my perfection castigating any it sees [?] unlike MCs
It is what it is I am what I be you sure you wanna play against me won't I C?
I fluidly fluently speak lunacy in the deep blue sea blue lines grow with you my [?]
I'm of demonic seed elden breed influenced by Aries me to do these Devil deeds
I'll stone out this world when coming Burn your hometown
In my home town I took the Crown as the Satanic King of Paradise
Blood of all foes is what I want so I'm gunning for WWZ Rahoradias [?]
Wielding the Titanic power awe striking power activate power of the Founding
Bar after Bar raining down the sky where I sit on my throne

### When I'm Alone

[Black ink:]
When I'm Alone
I'm in my head when I'm alone
Even when I'm dead I defend my throne
When I'm gone I'll find a new host
When I'm in my bed talking to ghosts
Looking for a hand to hold
I'm so damn cold

[Two columns; left column, then right:]
I don't have time anymore
Sleep on mega sheet and snore
Fry yo ass have myself a smore
When I sweat greatness leave my pores
Get lost in their [?] Hell I explore
Demons who do you think got more
look into my eyes of the Hills
They'll give you all the chills
Blood got spilled continue to kills
Feel the flames as they grills

It's in my brain
feel it in my veins
Must be going insane
Straining against the chains
Becoming all to plain
Muddy from the rains
Add me to the slain
My demon continues to rains [reigns?]
Iron fist of the Devils reign
Going through growing pains

---

Page 65 — Again

[Red ink throughout. Some words crossed out and insertions written above lines; the last lines run off the right edge of the page.]

Again

Hey there my friend, How long has it been?
I'm lost as my mind once again Thinking of you again
when does recess end when did this madness even begin
How many times can try summon Ether in with just a click of my pen?
I still dream about you every now and then of course that's where
I'm able to nurse to squeeze some sleep in usually weep in
The darkness [?] think of clouds in which for you I'm reaching
My eyes be leaking outside of one that you are peaking
trying to see that grin from benedid [?] one that you're speaking?
Where are where are where are you now to bounce me tweaking
Everyone down here thinking that I'm just a freak and tweaking
I wasn't tweaking out [?] then too high, I tweaked away now and again
So what if its only Sunday How Am I've only been up since this past last weekend
Everyone once in awhile I drop and then I can get some shuteye rest then
How many tries must go around on this world as it spins
How many losses must one man take before he wins
Why is it a problem for me to see things through a different lens
If it only hurts me why can't I just be alone with these sins
People who like to claim that they are my friend
Anytime I need em to their ear to me will they'll lend
But I know everytime all show fake care just pretend
I'm aware that I'll be all alone when this comes to an end
I know my time up it's up to when [?] I'm in the [?]
No I don't advocate suicide tried it don't recommend
But these wounds of mine seem to never actually mend
[—] I'm tired. (I'm so tired, so so tired
Of life I'm so tired I feel so tired.
My life is over done already expired
Please tell me can you tell me at the end
When I finally do come to an end when I'm gone in the wind
Will I get to see that goofy grin when my world no longer spin
Will I Aloc? Will I [—] Will I see that goofy grin
Well Aloc? Will I see you [—]

---

Page 66 — ApeShit

[Red ink throughout, two sections. Insertions written above some lines. Show-through below; not transcribed.]

ApeShit

Ape Shit It Ape Shit crazy shit Monkey Boy shit so go Ape shit
Don't even aim shit spray and pray it hit shit lets go Ape Shit
You can't stop me when I get weak shit
I'm at the peak like I'm Zeke I'm the prime ape
Check the tape I'm beast titan in the game
No other chimp can do what I do not the same
Don't get me wrong I smell that Donkey [?] with the words chuck [?]
I'm that Titan that be throwing these with God I'm talking Kong
Who the fuck are you I'm a great ape oo sorry
Be the one straight heat the one to beat ya
I'm Zeke I'm the leader I'm Prince Vegeta

When is enough enough? Why is this life so rough?
I am soldier built ford tough. When can I hang it up
How many times must I bring it up
I'm hanging barely hanging on just only
I move on keep moving on so lonely

---

Page 67 — [Untitled diss; ends "And this was my Rumblings"]

[Black/blue ink, full page. Opens mid-piece. Some lines run to the right edge and are cut off in the photo. "2322 S Claremont Ave Independence, Missouri" written as read.]

Sexual predator register at the [?] locator
oh and one more thing you bitch made cunt
Lets see who's really about it shouldn't be fun
Get your strap? Dumb cunt own a map. GPS App listen up
2322 S Claremont Ave Independence, Missouri
Pull the pack up come test get you done
I'm the land of the killers none be nicer
You slick dicker to just eat a dick length to be nice
But I'm into bitches when you is sissy shows woman's got pimp
Not even a pimp on my ass pessimistic yes
I'll go all savage pull out a hatchet no born and a hatchet
Get to smashin hack together hacking savagery never slacken
When I get to attackin any of you get it again
Rhymester wizard get you some I began steams outlane [?]
Back when this one hell their disrespectful shit
That tried to steel Emmans's [?] sons as his shit
mark the decline of mine respect in the story you didn't save shit
I knew oh oh this tea shit was just a front
Knew something up didn't know about kid pussy you want
Once again you sick fuck cunt
I just keep going what you knowing about actually having
Requires some actual skill to be showing what you just not knowing
Big Lizard like a blizzard set to keep snowing soon to be prison bitch
Better notice your blowing you faggot loving your glowing
I'm trick you out till one day you snap grab the strap
Paint the wall brain splat no cap Bitch
Now get down learn to show humblins your world is a crumbling
You end your undoing felt my wrath the aftermath
of whats left of your pride pack of pussy cats
You had a queen but neither of you are kitties so shitty
The King of the Pens word neither of you the crown belonged
The young Goat Man Rimwell [?] second best the wrathful arms
To me The Scorpion King And this was my Rumblings

---

Page 68 — Make it seem like he wasn't even here

[Black/blue ink, full page. Opens mid-piece. "- Strap on" written small in the right margin partway down.]

Make it seem like he wasn't even here
Listen to me I want you to listen clear
After this I'm done with this diss meet you'll hear
A crushin slash a lyrical slashin up your rear out you're ear
the single best diss of the entire year
Come on big man I'm grown man not old year old boy
Stomp on your ego get your confidence to utter destroy
What kinda weird shit you on
I got into the group chat stumble upon
A couple Leos we know gettin their cat on
roaring at each other threatening jump on
Exploring your sexuality wouldn't surprised little pussy called our [?]
Big pussy cat How old are you Dark! don't want these paws
You ain't gonna hurt anyone you declawed pussy no balls
I happen to know a hacker or two what if I were to
Slip my buddy him by to take a peak look into
The number to connect me do wifey at home
I wonder how she react do the screenshots
I wonder if she were going to let you see your kids
I wonder too I'll see what I can get her to do she might say yes
I wonder how it'll feel to be cucked by a white boy
I wonder how your wife will feel give a brother to enjoy
What the fuck is wrong with you?
How many weird ass sexual verses you gonna [?] to look cool
Why the fuck would I be jealous of you?
I am fucking embarrassed I defended you
I knew I should've ended you but befriended even
I am on my Ape Shit you on your child rape shit
You are lucky you ain't in prison getting gaped shit
I wonder how many others did you take advantage of
You sick fuck I know if that was my baby girl
Your dick get cut force feed [?] gouge up your ass
This shit is it for you the Rumblings at last give you the [?]

---

Page 69 — I have no issue with you here it'll be no issue

[Black ink, full page, very dense. Some words crossed out; insertions written above lines; a pencil scribble near the top. Several lines run off the right edge.]

I have no issue with you here it'll be no issue
I have no [?] I have no issue do you join as if you want to
Please Rimy said I welcome you if you want
Bye Goodness I don't want to battle you
2. I and Rimy invite you as well
Welcome her DJ Diablo...... the Rim says don't destroy you... [?]
Get out of here before I change my mind. I still might get
him don't give me a reason

I'm going Ape shit! I'ma break shit You can't take it, violent please
No famous room for both us dudes I'm not one to groom can't make me
I'm your doom can't escape me can't [?] me This is the Park it's cresting
I see lives flashing guns slapping Now lyrically getting cheek less
Clapping watching children while rapping thinking you're Kings in Quiet castles
White being treat those you call rapins bout to have your career draft makes
The [?] only begin in the ring fris Bibo have you sucking a cucumber [?] here we go
he sent that I order you to go Sosar is the one you can call lost an Ackerman First Levi
thank I'm the Captain and 3.2.1. Great Ape Ultra Great Ape instinct flow It take gol
Think you can clash I think you got smoked flick the ash shut the fuck up no one cares
about claiming making cash pressuring undersea teens is not swimming in ass
Someone quick call up this mans wife check his him Ass show you twinkle sharp casts
Someone better this man back to his Chomo class This dude twin King Red o th his slot [?]
[?] swear by it everyone should try it I we should start the Rumblings
Stompin you out as we riot Films make your wife buy it Every day you sat
home they watching it hard as shit holdin gut a moment of quiet
If you knew it was clear or [?] it be why take the bite on sight it
You [measure?] the complete lunacy due acting like he never seen Botter [?] of Hanson on TV
You'd think you'd be watching every episode taking notes studiously but in the studio
Down bad for some young booty hole that allegedly knew it to be an O still full [?]
Oh no no bro bro not my brobro anymore I don't judge most people haven't though
As you can tell Soap can't stand a chomo that's and so it you John go you gotta go
Lucky for the Block I was trashman 6 years I know a few staffs don't fear
I know where a few garbage human beings can hidden disappear

---

Page 70 — The Rumblings / White Devil

[Title in black ink ("The Rumblings," with "Rumblings" partly scribbled), subtitle "White Devil." Body in black/blue ink, dense; several insertions and cross-outs. One section is laid out as a short dialogue ("Rimwell:" / "J.C.:").]

The Rumblings
White Devil

Shh Shh you hear that something is coming
You shouldn't have summon me the White Devil I'm becoming
This latest scandal the worse one broke the camel I can no longer handle
Like the other times I came to your defense they lay it spent
Patience all gone went like many offerings becomes your intent
To go to war with the entire Block whether will never relent
Even when members of the pens begged yet your word still unconsent
Yet I fake thats a hot take If I ain't mistook I left Traphouse after they
Kicked you to curb after making you return your key to the place Yet [?] taste
Didn't sit well then I made my first mistake I will my followers you as you fall to hell
If I never reached out to in the first place I wouldn't choose to waste
My piece with those dudes who are great who would just wasn't knowing
You would take that bait of course you lie with all your hate
Yet my loyalty held strong after each time you wrong
I tried diplomacy comments to Key you can even joined a jumping of a Ryon a song [?]
I shouldn't started on my old game plan to be Fair
The Devil inside o
You're lil wizzy didn't gonna tell her mom as hell
Came this close to have a perfect cell
I'm on a mission to [?] her lies meet the banks
Keep your dragon balls and meet [?] in your tank
It and by I'm not good at math but story Slim O Blanks [?]
Fuck you and I will boom your little War Room when I Rumble through you
and your crew the poor few that you managed to recruit to meet maybe all kids who owe the [?]
Leavenworth girls alone and them boys too in my dark forest
Run I'm glad got you out when we did [?] knows when the time he'd come for you
I bet he was a few girls away [?] break you with his Peso sweat and poke for [?]
Rimwell: [smiley face drawn] Marco why is he so sweaty?
J.C.: I dk bro he's older guy wise and kind trying to rap battle the entire Block
to ash talkin like he actually got shooters on the Block forced to back
Mouth throwing on the fifth homes Not so slim thick dude kinda made
Fat shame while he's trying to Bill Cosby for a New I'm a nurse
For a few to addressing to Both Baked Goodness any now guys I forgot you
don't get involved the only way to resolve is to evolve it [?] like [?]

---

Page 71 — There's one cool bro I'm a such rabid dog Cuzo

*[Red ink on lined notebook paper. Heavy red show-through from the reverse side fills the rest of the page; not transcribed. Faint reversed pencil show-through of the title "A while" at top.]*

There's one cool bro I'm a such rabid dog Cuzo
There's someone out there badder than me yeah who though?
Who out there do it like I do please do let me know
Few out there who spit like I do I tease you But we flow
One [—] where I do sit gripe why do I got to please you fuck you hoe
You think we in the same lane with same aim and intention
You think we feel the same plane [—] I'm named you should be [who?] mentions
the [—]

---

Page 72 — A while

*[Top of page, small writing above the title: "will Smile after". Title "A while" in black ink. First section in black ink; remainder in red ink.]*

This is to everyone I care about
I guess somewhat somehow the news got out
Looks like I was unable to find another way out
Just know I really really tried to not doubt
It's unfortunate or is it if see my side [has?] bit more peaceful now
Depends on how you view now what scope [—] was brought about
I know it hurts now give it awhile bet you will smile after Awhile
Some of may never forgive me think I am selfish don't care about

*[Ink changes to red]*

Trust me one of things I think the most about It troubles me don't doubt
Honestly one of the only reasons it took this long to come to pass [—]
I may be selfish I take that but what hit you with a [—] reverse is around?
Wouldn't it be seen as selfish to force someone [—] by in day out
Especially when you never make any effort to be around to simply hang out
When you ignore every overt every sound whichever however I reach out?
Simply because the possibility that I'm suffering [—] that you might be [—] something [reason — written above the line]
That you will get a [—] you might see probably hear about because now
Me being placed in the ground put a slight frown you won't really see me around town
Well who's selfish now I may even see [—] So deal with your frown
Wrote for the first time in such a [long?] while I don't [feel?] like I will drown
Just hang in there you'll come around just may crave a smile after awhile
Don't worry I'll be back just [—] take a while I always do after [—]

---

Page 73 — Remind you

*[Red ink on lined notebook paper. Reversed show-through at top of page; not transcribed. A word is crossed out in line 8.]*

Remind you

You must forget who I be you must've forgot about me
Let me show what you must not see let me tell you about J.C
I'm

What are we to you just toys to amuse you to be used
to fight in your feuds like those other 2 dudes in your War Room
While you ask nudes from 14 year olds for you to go groom
Do you ask that with your wife laying next to you or do you
go [crossed out] lock yourself in the bathroom
But this is more than that for me I've been [noted?]
More [—] toxic [—] after it you tend to be everything
it's been hitting at these [—]

---

Page 74 — Here I go down the road I go

*[Black/dark blue ink on lined notebook paper. Small doodles (circles) in the left margin. One word crossed out in each of lines 5 and 16.]*

Here I go down the road I go

I don't know what to call this
I'm such savage the man in this shit
Try me and get ravaged damaged for legit
Heavy ass hands [crossed out] blurry in hurry the quick
I'm a workaholic never take a night off
I get that all of it clever broke the case I solve it
I'm a marksman I don't miss my target
Pen strokes cause sparks then souls I harvest

Homie whatever homie you don't know me go on fall back
Not ever can throw [—] blow me blow on this ball sack

Thinking you can outwrite me is like a 1st grader fist fighting the
Principal the absurd principle is just not convincible it's like
Playing Roc Sham Boe with Mark Grayson aka Invincible

If your strategy is try and use a small army to harm me plan
Better be [crossed out] with these hands lately call me Omni man

---

Page 75 — Conflict Collab

*[Black ink on lined notebook paper. Title at top: "Conflict Collab". Reversed show-through of "Dark Road" at top right; not transcribed. The first line has words overwritten/scribbled over.]*

Conflict Collab

Mentally ill – addictions Help [overwritten —] Recovery
I can't help it that I am mentally ill
My depression takes over the way I feel
I have a hole in my heart that I can't seem to fill
I question everything I can't tell what's real
Try to get help but the doctor wants to give me pills
I tried to take them but they make me less than ideal

---

Page 76 — Dark Road

*[Black ink on lined notebook paper. Title at top: "Dark Road".]*

Dark Road

I feel it lets go again Doing Laps around my brain
I feel it swelling up so inflamed This Demon cannot be Tamed
Why I always the one being blamed I Swear I'm being Framed
I'm not who you claimed I do know 'em but Shall remain unnamed
Never been a bitch Never been a Snitch that shit is not about to switch
Go ahead try me if you feel like it Just Sayin you Just might get hit
Just might get you cut slice [—]

---

Page 77 — Why do I love you so

*[Black ink at the top of a lined notebook page. The rest of the page is heavy show-through from other pages; not transcribed. The word "times" is written above the line in verse 4. A phone number is written below the last line.]*

Why do I love you so
That I don't seem to know
Around and around we go
Any second [times — written above] bound to blow
Sex an laughs welcome to the Psycho Show

975-201-3556

---

Page 78 — I live in Misery I live in Misery Missouri

[Black ink. Three pieces on one page. Lines in the third piece run off the right edge and are cut off in the photo.]

### I live in Misery I live in Misery Missouri

I live in Misery I live in Misery Missouri
Misery MO MO Misery MO Misery Missouri
Welcome to Misery, Missouri
yuh aye
I live in my constant Misery Missouri Ya in 204
Grew up in the 204 Independence Avenue the avenue
My mother and brothers One big one kid Ya I got two
This is J.C is the middle child too like the Malcom dude
Now I'm Shxdi the middle wild zoo like mouth get rude

She is a damn talker all day every funny day
She called me a stalker She say WTF just go away
I should call her and pray that her number hadn't change
She is a blocker don't want to play said I was being strange

I have lucid dreams like gruesome movie scenes
I can do shit that seems like I'm actually being ruling S [?]

### Voices

Voices

I hear the voices again, I fear the choices then
I hear the voices again, I fear the voices win I refuse to give in
I fear the voices will win what choices will be my choices then [then crossed out]
What will be my choices If I lose to the voices voices voices
I hear the voices in my ear filling my heart with fear
They trying to get me out of here not just here out the atmosphere
Is that clear through darkness I fly blind as I steer as time and [?]
I hear them whispering in my ear corner of my eyes see faces in the [?]
When I look they disappear
I do know how I appear yours are [?] and handsome
You'd never know unless I told by so the voices holdin me for ransom

---

Page 79 — Rebirth / 9

[Black ink. Two-column layout. A title show-through ("To The Block") is visible reversed at the top from the next page; "To The BLOCK" also shows through faintly down the page; neither transcribed as content.]

Rebirth / 9

why why why does it seem to me
9 nine nine nine Rebirth the Trinity
Like Like Like The triple nines be
why why why is it always me — Time Time Time on for doubt it [?]
Fly Fly Fly Your flaming bird in a C burdens me
9 nine nine nine Rebirth The Trinity
9 nine nine nine Them Triple Nines be
9 nine 9 nine nine
Yeah Yeah Yeeeah Yeah Yeah Yeeeah Yeah Yeah Yeeeeeaaahhh oh oh Yeah
Throw up the triple 9's up yeah hold 'em up [?] they're my Throw 'em up
Nine Nine Nine All the time I'm 29 in my prime but in my mind
Been around a long time a long long time

---

Page 80 — To The Block

[Black ink, top of page; rest blank except show-through. A smudge partly covers the title. Several words crossed out and rewritten; lines run off the right edge.]

To The Block

This is one I dedicate To The Block To The Block
To all of you

I'm going cut you like a [?] sign [?]

Ok enough [of?] that free flow putting on a show back to [?] business
[?] stepping all on your written battle a doormat I'll have blas you broke out like [?]
On the starting beef with me I swing those bars like [?]

---

Page 81 — OG

[Black ink prose/verse letter, headed "OG" (circled). Faint show-through lines at the top. Two small doodles in the left margin. Signed at the end "O.G" as written.]

OG

Hey OG
Who's cool?
we [?]?
I don't know are we?
Not gonna lie sounds like you have sent a few bars for me
But I don't feel like they're really for me, more be a warning
Maybe it's in my head made up instead maybe for noin being fed my red
by something [?] misread
or I read what I read and I read what was said as it was said & work yourself
If there needs anything to be said then let it be said
I've only shown you your respect and gave your cred
with [?] message I've been direct no lie lend
[?] regards to give props not for any other person your drops
I'm not some dumb sop taking any slop and flop over letting anyone go top
No sure I'm not a soft head I'll rather put them take my shot
If that is not, enough trust me more I got attack them can't like a clot
Pin point precision maths the same spot without a thought till I get I got
All awhile my respect and admiration never stops especially my opps
May be friendly competition as a sign of respect or by recognition
Acknowledge drive and skills with these keyin the ignition
Keep it in consideration has no form of any submission by given permission by me
to one never be in admission this is a kamikazi mission
This is written only for vision not to cause any more division on the Block
Not a cause public shock or see who has a bigger cock pause [?]
Resume the clock when you and what you do I still rock but I got plans
Because I too am a wild savage blast I rather peace even together feast peace clause
But if you think you can stick your fangs in me like Jaws with the respect
well all due respect right to beast you'll catch these claws
But I'll rather know peace with you peace only
Does that sound fair enough to you huh? O.G

---

Page 82 — Place

[Title in black ink, with a smudge above it. Photo is very blurry: only the title and four lines at the top can be made out at all, and even those are uncertain. The rest of the page is too blurred to read; faint lines below are show-through / unreadable.]

Place

I need to go I know I must go home this place [?]
I need to know I must know I'll never have [?] in place [?]
I can't stay here I can't stay in fear My [?] is usually [?] [?]
I need to have my head clear But [?] that her [?] [?]

---

Page 83 — Anymore

[Black ink. A verse section at the top (lines run off the right edge), then the piece "Anymore" in three columns below. Transcribed: top verse, then left column, then middle column, then right column.]

[Top verse:]
They don't see what I see [?] they not me
[?] watch they [—]
They don't believe in me in [—]
I got this I got this
Don't believe what I [?] can be
Cross me get bit on real shit get hit I'm your [?] skill split
They think [?] to some see how it is try it with me then I be

I gave you my heart you don't want it anymore
The way it tore me part then you left me on the floor
[?] to get a restart I can't go on anymore
Why do I give my heart to only get hurt now it's sore
I should know just how it will go like it always go [?] days to go [?]
My brain ought so my heart should know what does it never know I don't know know
All these thoughts in my mind will I ever find the time to [?] be free I [?] in
Probably not not in this lifetime try next time then I feel I climb all the way out Hell [?]

### Anymore

[Left column:]
Why do I even try anymore
I don't know why anymore
I can't deny it anymore
I won't try anymore
So I won't try anymore
These [?] won't try anymore
Why do I try anymore
I won't ask why anymore
So why should I anymore
I don't want to try anymore
Why can't I [?] me anymore

[Middle column:]
Nobody tries anymore
Does anyone try anymore
I won't buy it anymore
No not going to try anymore
No I won't try anymore
The days don't go by anymore
I don't try anymore
Don't ask me why anymore
Don't care with all we anymore
I can't die anymore
I'm no failure anymore

[Right column:]
So why even try anymore
They only lie anymore
I won't try it anymore
I don't want cry anymore
Refuse to try anymore
Why must I anymore
Refuse to try no more
Nobody listens anymore
Only care when you [?] anymore
I'm not me anymore
I'm not trying [?]

Page 84 — I need to get away from this place

*[Black ink. A title at the top is heavily crossed out and illegible. Faint show-through at the bottom of the page is not transcribed.]*

I need to get away from this place
My heart is silent [—] since
I need a change of my headspace
I no longer feel my damn face
[I need to change — line crossed out]
I need to make a change I need it by yesterday
Yet here I am holding [?] till I assimilate
Thank you everyone who supports my art [—]
That I truly do appreciate The Block deeper than you may think
You guys don't realize just how close ya'll came to be
Completely unaware of who J.C Henley be
So close to have never heard the clever lizard known to be Dirty
I was on the fast track to checking out before I even hit thirty
You all came so close to lose the chance to Salute DaGoose
Fucked up things is it wouldn't even [broke?] any of your news
That ya boy YungCase got a little too Mr. Blu hung it up [?] a noose
I need out of this place Need a new space Heart picking up pace
It's in a race I feel like my shit was laced Shoulda known by the taste
I feel my life was a waste Can't feel below my waist From then they [closed?]
To fetch me put me in place that dark dark place Can't escape
No heros with capes my body slumped and drapes popped like grapes
Such a waste Not my fault the blame is faces Flames at Hells Gates

---

Page 85 — Lonely

*[Black ink. "Ya Sad Boi B. Blu" is written after the title. A smudge/cross-out sits over part of the title line.]*

Lonely — Ya Sad Boi B. Blu

I only know to be so lonely on my own alone I be
Why do I only know to be lonely? So lonely on my own only
I'm so tired of being lonely only lonely alone no one wants to know me
Only ever known to be lonely Always barely on my own all alone gets so lonely
Is it really too much hold me? Impossible to love me they told me
To feel one's touch to console me 1-800 [?] - Collect Toll free
To be wanted around not to control me nor solely [?] contents of my wallet wholly [?]
I do not recommend this as a life to lead A lonely life indeed
I swear everyday my soul continues to bleed Allowing my demons to feed
I spend everyday in the hole as I plead begging the warden to be freed
I end everyday payin the toll So that troll can roll in its damn greed
I know the Lizard is Dirty with an [?] obscene in more than one way I'm trying to be cle[— line runs off the right edge]
But any love I am shown is filtered out through my phone screen
I know what all of are saying and what your words do mean
Do you understand me when I say I don't hear your words they are seen
I guess ya'll never heard that you can only imitate love with a machine
Just hearing a [— page ends mid-line]

---

Page 86 — Do you know that I know that

*[Black ink, untitled. The first line is faint. Red-ink show-through at the bottom of the page is not transcribed.]*

Do you know that I know that [faint]
Can you help Can you help me I need a little help to be a little
less lonely I'm so lonely
Can you help me be a little more happy I don't need you to be happy
But it sure would help me be a little less me which I do need
Get away of me a little time to be less of me I always
a little too much of me too much of me I need some peace
I don't wanna be piece a little cheek let me have a squeeze
Can you give me a piece a bit of a release don't be a tease
I just need a piece a bit of a release well pretty please
You gonna make me go and say please well pretty please
Girl pretty please give me a piece girl please girl pretty please
Don't be a tease It always rains need a little shine make it shine
for a little time be mine Just for a while is fine
Girl please pretty pretty please I just need release from Reality
Nothings a finality I just need a taste let me grab your waist [first written "waste," crossed out, "waist" written in]
With a little time got a little to waste I don't want to chase
Come over here or go to your place Girl help me please
I just need some peace Girl can you give me a piece
I'll sign a lease I need a release Don't be a tease
Come on girl please pretty pretty please

---

Page 87 — SideWays

*[Title and main section in black ink; the closing section is in red ink, heavily worked over with cross-outs, and parts are very hard to read.]*

SideWays

Sideways SideWays try talking to me Sideways
Sideways SideWays try it you trying fate
I don't tolerate any hate I initiate escalate decimate
Eliminate try it if you want me to demonstrate
I won't hesitate Put you in your place When I show my Demon Face
I been demon raised in demon ways I am HIM of the Demon Race
With demon taste I shred at a demon pace You just a walking Talking Screen [waste?]
Unlock this demon cage unleash Demon rage in The Demon Age [—]
Thank you to demon [—]
Rounds holy time demon laced All time Demon Greats even [—] Sting of my [bean?] in place
Sideways Sideways Try talking to me Sideways go ahead I'll wait
Sideways Sideways Try it if you wanna try fate [Draw?] the Demon Gate
Sideways Sideways Try talking to me Sideways I'll show you my Demon Face
Try it if you want No publicity stunt think I'm a [—] punt you in your cunt
Talk to me Sideways you better be joking I [—] than you poking Me the Grizzly
If disrespect to me is spoken the Dark Side you'll be invokin a Dark [?] awoken
A dark fire stoken a Dark lord provokin [—] soul be smokin
You will see J.C go to be D.V whatever way I'll use so much force when chokin
I'll leave you with your neck broken
So as you see what disrespect to me will bring [words crossed out]
So I suggest a 1-2-1-2 Salute Da Goose King

*[Red ink, heavily crossed out and overwritten:]*

Or else catch a sting sling a Black and Yellow homies why [—]
took 2 1 [?] catch both of [crossed out] different [crossed out] hung
Either way you fuck [?] little difference in the quality
Rope roughly roled round your throat either [—]
Said Nope [—] the whole scope respiratory system Personally [—]
The [scribbled out] [—] of her [—] is death fresh another [—] broth no more left
woke up [—]

---

Page 88 — Can you tell? / Puff / fragment

*[Three pieces on one page: a short untitled section in blue ink at the top, the main piece "Puff" in red ink, and a separate two-line fragment in red ink at the bottom.]*

### Can you tell?

Can you tell? I'm going to tell Can you tell how how I [?] fall
Just be honest with me in this let be honest this I promise
I can tell everything I know I can just tell

### Puff

My brain on a [foor?] gets no rest
Drives the lane to the ways it's endless
[—] the pain when I shoot hit your best
Surprise I'm insane in real not when I jest
Realize sublime how my feel [—] is best
Real eyes Sublime this play [—] is rest
What am I even saying Is ya boy out his mind is him well?
He needs to get out more get out of his shell He likes them well
But they no [?] him tell out of graces him fell so a dare I him fell
Loyal sources new team the new flow well then [spoke?] [—]
Your by love knows When listen to him spell out how Powerful
Stories not great then rearranged when he intel things not not end well
Ancient ears hear words fell Submerge the true and a cue the word Silence remove
That only we knew but ask we we never knew but ya boy knew and she knew
Our pens know a tray time

### [fragment]

Youngling grown sways thinking he gunsling he gonna sing tone him underway why
Now think he got the one under way

---

Page 89 — Those Days

*[Black ink. The title is written in pencil at the top, the second word smudged. One line begins with crossed-out words.]*

Those Days

I miss those days those days the good days yea those days
I miss goofing around with my friends
[crossed out] Having stressing about girl friends
Getting together everyday [had?] breaks picking out the stems
Puff puff constantly blowing clouds in the wind
It is crazy thinking how much green on green we'd spend
Never thought them days would ever come to an end
Never thought I would be taught by Alec everything will end
Taught that lesson he did lost a brother not just my friend
Taught that never again will see that grin [in?] world still spin
Only then did it all sink in a cold world we all live in
We were boys then only just begin to grown in to the men
If I could have sit down in the den or down at the pit again
I'd tell him how much he meant that we all love him let him vent
Do all that I can all resources spent to help him with his torment
Tell him that ever since he passed every day in my mind time [was?] spent
Tell him to pay up being in my head so long the fucker owes me rent
So out of shape my mind has been bent wish he never decide he went
Down a different path the one he was meant but thats not how it went
I miss them days yeah those days those days together Those days

---

Page 90 — Till Then

*[Red ink. Heavy show-through below the piece is not transcribed.]*

Till Then

I have almost lost myself at the cost of myself
and slipped back Tripped back into my old self
Said to me one thing out everything hate [full?]
To me I just laughed back but calls me mean I felt that [—] to a [crek?]
Now I just [tell?] gross can't believe how close
I was to become the one I thought was just a ghost
I thought that man was nothing more than a just
I hate that I came so close to who I hate the most
I don't know forever! yet though I think I may go solo
That way I stay out of any of that drama
Thats some bs I dont wanna get in I dont wanna
Nothing any of you did Rimmy, B.G, I nor you given even you
wiz I think this is for the best really it is I'm down to kick
a rhyme with any of you any time
This decision was a hard one I'm sorry Darrel
But I think its time I part from I don't see through that
[leas?] so I'm sorry bud but I'm afraid I got take a min
for myself and leave the 'Pens dealing with this world of mine
that spins its sins gotta clean house get my demons back in their
pins then and only then when I win will I think & then come back
to the 'Pens Goodbye Dual Lifers [deakes?] my only friends not all ends
are permanent You'll see my goofy ass again ready spin this pen
Till Then

---

Page 91 — Did That

*[Black ink. A short four-line passage is written small in the upper right margin; it is transcribed after the main piece.]*

Did That

Yo go on and get that
Yes we been there did that
Oh no you didn't
You might get shot
Rather have than have not
A few enemies we have got
Give your girl a few backshots
Do what we do to win that
No one do like when we in that
Oh who do that like we all that
Who can like Rent that and spit that
Break em off Kit Kat stick click clack
Might want do that and get back
Just might get whacked Fight back
[The?] nigga I write till I lose sight still smack
Like how the fuck did he do that [saw?] fight back
Fuck with us we will get back yeah we got that
Strapped with our Pens get the wins Comin' in [—]
See things through a new lens here you ends
rain down Pain Get that shot on tap
Pain blood stain Darkness we remain
We breaking the chain goin off the chain Crazy Train
Yeah we get that gettin our get back with pens no caps
get clicked at we click back clicks dont slack
our clicks packin with bricks get that or get smack
watch your shit get crack skull get split
Blood get split skull get flat told [crossed out] get back
Made me have to go do that do that
Laid out Yeah we did that Yes we did that

*[Written small in the upper right margin:]*

How do we do this
how we [—] do that
How do we not miss
we just did that

---

Page 92 — If they've got in more / Hey You

*[Blue ink. The top section is written very faintly and is partly illegible. Below it, a demons verse, and then a two-column call-and-response section — the left column is transcribed first, then the right.]*

### [faint top section]

If they've got in more can two [hear?]
They are in here already they are inside
They come out in [—] at their side
If their [—] set in where can we go hide
They already inside [—]
Best to do I suggest turn out that light
Because for a fight wish all your might and so slight

### [demons verse]

Let me tell you one [ant?] came from me
Let me tell you it not gonna [—]
girl let me tell you
I hear demons know so many demons got so many demons
Their suits always [—] they was plotting and scheming
They gang up on me pressing team ins [—]
A lot just because me they're eating me

### Hey You / What a lovely day — left column

Hey you yeah you I'm here ta
to you [be?] you there walk in
Come here come on over here
whisper in your ear
what you want to hear
Coast is clear lets [sneak?] out of here
You and me girl lets disappear
Hey you Yes you know who I'm talking to
I hear you talking lets see how you be walking boo
Ya you show me how boy do you let me show how to do
We stuck together like glue that wont come undo
I [—] not play his [—] saying that you won't can do
You know me why would I ever [—] to do [—] do

### Hey You / What a lovely day — right column

What a lovely day today I say
I'd love to die on a day like today
Just like today [—] not away
Then boom I'm out on my way
What a lovely day I do say
Such a perfect day to be laid
Today is such a great day
Some might even say
A damn perfect kind of day
A perfect day If I do say
A lovely day like today
Be the perfect kind a day
Be Perfect if I just die today

---

Page 93 — Da Freaky

*[Black ink. "Dirty Lizard" is written beside the title, parts of the title lettered in pink/red. A second, untitled section follows after a gap on the same page. Show-through between the sections is not transcribed.]*

Da Freaky — Dirty Lizard

Da Freaky Da Da Da Freaky hit me wit dada Da Freaky x2
Dirty spelled with the big D is me I be ready to freak
I seek I peek I [?] I keep I creep I speak I leak I leap I reap I cheat
I keep I beep I bleep I reek I sleek I [chic?] I tweak I geek I freak!!!
Lizard up in here know how I do what I do when I do not get a clue
Wizard cup like dick in the goblet of fire's how [—] kept my nuts back
Of course with my luck my horse hair pair of nuts being here to combust
Just bust with flames which then bust nuts I came [bolling?] nut like a game
[Roland?] I ready up and aim was that game immediate not again once again
I came and came try again results the same I know its they make the same
I don't want [plum?] Jane Vanilla from the list of manilla this man a killa
I expect me a formula unlike his so to chillas take a fence at
Midnight [Boutique?] for ghouls and Freaks multiple times a week
Thats the type of vibe I seek [—] up the vibe place as I peek watch me keep
Strut strut strutter [ins?] I speak as I sput sput sputter another nutter
all over that really neat to thirsty to create satisfaction knees grow weak
Power seven in hibernation sick soul in vibration sleep for a week
Ya baby hit me wit dada DA Freaky Da Freaky Da Freak
Da Freaky

### [untitled]

[words crossed out] To this day you will feel me even if you don't know me
Always been a real one never been no phony
Play with me then me and your ex boy hoe blow me
Your hits weak shit be microsoft I'm pro I'm Sony
After you drip raid your Tomb like laura croft I like
You don't wanna scroll me can't control me can't hold me
Catch you a ass beating so Legendary you'd think I'm Broly

---

Page 94 — Suffocate

*[Black ink, top section of the page only; the rest of the page is show-through and is not transcribed.]*

Suffocate

Slowly I run low on air knowing this why don't I care? Does anyone else care
Nope nobody is there Which to be fair I don't blame them probably I did scare
Away anyone who tried to care they looked into these eyes and back since Devil as he stare
Threatening to strip their soul bare I'm well aware of the labels placed where
Everyone says I am crazy a freak when I do speak nobody is still there
They don't care so I don't care Jeremy don't care well I don't I swear
So low down here I no longer hold fear ready to disappear who'd care
So low I am almost out of air

---

Page 95 — Care

*[Black ink. Note: a second, shorter piece also titled "Care" appears in a later-sent photo; it is transcribed after this one — see the note at the end of this section.]*

Care

It hurts to care, yes hurts to care, Why does it hurt to care?
It is not fair, No it is not Fair, Why is life so unfair?
It gets hard to care, It really does I swear, Thus why nobody else cares.
Because they are aware,
well
Why does it hurt to care I don't know I can't tell
I smoke [frost?] when I get scared I scared as hell
Then I live EVIL like a backwards spell ["live" written above a crossed-out word]
Say either way works as well say either way works so well
I live evil like a backwards spell forwards or backwards same spell
I live twistin up a backwards shell light up backwards and inhale exhale where [—]
I get high as hell can't hide the smell Got any more for sell?
I mean you might as well as far as I can tell I'm goin to hell going to hell
Look from how high I fell, I fall fell fell all the way to hell oh oh well
Whenever you live evil mirrored backwards spell end up in hell oh oh well
When you make a deal with devil for real don't matter if you
Volunteer meals on wheels how many you heal to all try to appeal
The deal is a deal can't cheat or steal you keep your deal
And go to hell go to to hell go to hell to to Hell
For Real keep the deal can't cheat nor steal live evil go to hell go to hell oh oh we[— line runs off the right edge]

### Care — second version (later photo)

*[NOTE: A later-sent photo of a different page, also titled "Care," holds a shorter, different draft of the piece — it is NOT the same page as Page 88 photographed twice. The two texts share the theme and the phrases "hurts to care" / "not fair" / "unfair" but are otherwise entirely different: this version is 9 lines and never develops the "live evil like a backwards spell" / deal-with-the-devil verses of Page 88. Transcribed in full here:]*

Care

Why does it seem like most the people who Care
Are the ones know life as unfair with despair in stare
If you care and I mean truly care then beware
Care if you dare it's not fair but it hurts to care
Hurts to care Hurts to care Hurts to care Yes hurts to care
I swear it hurts to care So better beware it hurts to care
Cause most people do not care do not care No they don't care
They'll take everything leave you bare traps that ensnare
Lead you on in their lair when you're unaware

---

Page 96 — I am tired

*[Black ink, eight short lines at the top of the page; the rest of the page is show-through and is not transcribed.]*

I am tired
So damn tired
Feeling expired
Needing inspired
Down so low
Need to get higher
Thats bad I know
But I need to relight the fire

---

Page 97 — Invincible

*[Black ink, dense, with insertions written at the right margin on several lines; a few line-ends run off the right edge of the page.]*

Invincible

Some days I swear I feel invincible so invincible
Other days I am super aware how dispensable how nonsensical
Not recommendable to any mind of any Comprehendable Kind [nine?] offendable
Off in the deep end of the pool just a fool to dependable upon Chemical pull to [—]
Only if I were more gullible unable to pull the wool not a tool [—]
I'm clearing that a lot by declare I'm well self aware don't have to [—]
See the looks of People they wear same place where their stories honest cares
Especially no cares when Aired my strange their impair any care at me their [—]
Where they openly wear their stories tears openly his bare in the eyes wise [—] beings [Scared — written vertically at right]
Then I clear my sight head on tight left and Right my pen to write
I see the light I unleash my might No contest you in a fight with a [Vitamite?]
Tough kid Boiling strings think you running your class bitch I'm the Principable
I rule the whole School since before you were sick drool Bros [—] pull in [—] fool
You think you are the big shit just a sample of stool real real cool
I'm unstoppable you undroppable I'm astronomical You ass [antical?]
I'm impossible you Implayable I came through I cause a pull
You get [ounce?] under I come lightning and thunder You cause kids frightened parents wonder
I'm a giant Insurmountable Mountain a being truly Supreme
You're a defiant flying ant to me [—] seem to be just a dream within someone elses dr[— line runs off the right edge]
I'm [—] indestructible [—] I'm Invincible

---

Page 98 — Hey O.G

*[Black ink, top section of the page; the rest is show-through and is not transcribed.]*

Hey O.G

Hey O.G O.G O.G Hey O.G
Thought we were homies but you went to show me what a fake hoe be [Abe C?]
[—] OK no way will I go away gossiping all these stories I go toe to toe days in lens
Wont faze wont daze no longer will I go praise Shadi go crazy he goes and slays
Hear what I say M and J Shxdi go Flo-rida Way go ride today
Its the Hard Knock Life for us think only your life was tough only you knew it
No other fact had it rough like my life I never knew what Heaven's way yes it was
There were many nights of many frights so many fights so dark nights
With them all stars with flaws as the only lights for us to set our sights
Aiming for any twinkling suburb no matter heights must climb to set [—] to sights
Many nights wishing not to see the morrow without a dime do borrow
Not the only man of pain or sorrow definitely not only one to [—] borrows Yo

---

Page 99 — Runaway

*[Black ink. Several words are crossed out and rewritten; heavier lettering on some phrases is as written.]*

Runaway

I run away like a runaway I'm done today [Put?] the gun away
Wanna run away a runaway know you gonna say I shall leave the day
But I'm done today Tired of being [crossed out] Yeah I'm done today Fuckin done today
Tired of being done this way Truth being spun this way living [—] this way
I wanna run away like a runaway Freedom I'm on the way like yesterday
Can't even guess the day Relieve stress away Believe I'm blessed the way
Able to express and say Feeling in rhymes I lay Fed up with people fake
Calling them my friends [—] shit to be like to Hate just for the sake to Hate
I'm gone today I run away I'm done today A runaway
Wanna runaway gonna runaway You gonna say nope not today
No prank to play hear what I say I'm done today Get gone today
I run away see you some day Visit one day But not today
I'm gone today I'm done today I run away A Runaway
I'm gonna pray For another way yet better way Pray I don't stray aye
I Don't care may do not care you say Boo fuck what you say aye aye aye yay aye aye [—]
I'm gone today ya I've gone away ya Shoulda left the day You went away aye aye aye
Get the fuck out my head you got rent to pay I expect it by end of the day ya ya ya

---

Page 100 — Make a Wish / Tumer

*[Black ink, three lines only, top of the page. The title's second word reads "Tumer" [Turner?]; the last line names "Tim" as written.]*

Make a Wish / Tumer

I always been a fast learner
Been that bust ass kinda earner
Then lately must turn to Tim

---

Page 101 — The Vault

*[Black ink, three lines only, top of the page; show-through below is not transcribed.]*

The Vault

Good luck getting my heart its in my vault
Been hurt a few too many times all my fault
Put in the hands

---

Page 102 — I feel like nothing / Me

*[Black ink. An untitled verse at the top, then a second piece headed "Me."]*

### [untitled]

I feel like nothing I am Nothing Nothing ever happens to nothing
[They?] make me wanna cry shit make me wanna cry
Makes me wanna die Not gonna lie [—] me
I'm here [—] here you can find me here if you need I'm always be here
I'll be here If I'm still here than I'll [be here?] If not I'll be made here

### Me

Let me tell you about me
Let me tell you how I see
A little talk Who is Shxdi
[Bit?] of what the hell of what I do be
Get the gang together and Scooby
Let loose the Horde of villains groomed in the middle
I'm not like anybody but I bet remind you of somebody
I got that alien body able to shift into any body
Name a body pick a body I'm that Body
Became that body [—] Able to claim Any body
You're unable to claim as many Bodies
I'm [—] insane I am Godly
Damage [—] is the outcome probably

---

Page 103 — Special

*[Black ink. Two-line opening section, then the main section. One word is crossed out in the main section.]*

Special

Girl you are Special I don't care what you say you're
You are one of the most special by far

They keep asking me if I'm fine
Do you think I'm fine?
No I don't think I'm fine Or will be fine
I can't remember the last time I was fine
Not a [—] is fine In this life of mine
[—] not a thing is fine [—]
Tell me where it says that I am fine
I am [three?] for more time for only being 29
They say I crazy that I'm out of my mind
That I'll be just fine stick to my grind
I don't know what I'm expected to find
It's not like I'll learn to make time rewind
I won't be able to seize the one it's behind
I'm about done with it all [attend?] of my timeline
As I continue to scribble each line I rhyme
Why did I [crossed out] sign
Wish that [—] I didn't sign but I signed
Thought my interests had been aligned
This Hell of mine by my own hand designed
So my fate is what it is I find myself resigned
My own Hell I'm inclined to as my life declined
I don't want to go but I have to go here I go watch my eyes glow
Eyes glow Eyes glow watch my eyes [—] lay me low below
With each rhyme that is wrote I feel the rope tighten around my throat

---

Page 104 — Imperfectly Perfect

*[Black ink. "Jonny C." is written under the title; a word after "Perfect" in the title is smudged/crossed out.]*

Imperfectly Perfect
Jonny C.

You are perfectly imperfect perfectly imperfect
Girl you are worth it yes definitely worth it
I hope happiness you find for you deserve it you deserve it
You are perfectly imperfect you're perfectly imperfect
You're so worth it so damn worth it Show 'em you're worth it
So perfectly imperfect I [detect?] you are perfectly imperfect

Perfectly imperfect show me you in your all with your flaws
Girl your flaws makes it all perfect imperfections keep my jaw in awe
Your flaws I accept without pause Your flaws I accept with applause
Your flaws are the reason my heart begins to thaw yes the cause
To be so perfectly imperfect I swore I must break some laws
Your flaws contour my thoughts eats me alive like Jaws
Perfectly imperfect show me you in your all with your flaws
Your flaws I accept with no pause Your flaws I accept with applause
Every single scar to me as beautiful as a shining star
Perfectly imperfect just the way you are Yes you are
Every single scar is as beautiful just the way you are
You are perfectly imperfect would have no other way how you are
Perfectly imperfect Yes you are yes yes yes you are
Hook
You are perfectly imperfect perfectly I'm perfect perfectly imperfect
Girl you are worth it yes definitely worth it so worth it
Hope you can find happiness because girl you deserve it
You're perfectly imperfect perfectly imperfect
You're worth it girl you're so damn worth it
Perfectly Imperfect you are imperfectly perfect

Page 105 — 7 Sins

[Black ink. Title at top: "7 Sins" with a small scribble after it. Dense handwriting; several lines run to the right edge.]

7 Sins

JC back again what's happenin
I be attackin spazin stro[?] wit that pen in
Like bad habits as is intensified if an addiction
Conflictions in depictions pen with vision then
Cut wit such precision perfect incision wit reflection
Decisions weighin in direction in perfection reflection
JC take seat got confession for interjection
Yes and wit reflection on the current Sin in question
Embodiment of vengeful contention intention of aggression
On god i pent up vengeance resemblance wrathful season
Ongo fly no relent timed entrance Rhymes dispensed as sentenced
This sentence planted intents in conscience of a sinner repentance
[Free?] catharsis in acceptance no rest in after wins despite resistance
Convinced none can out distance out goin' out pens what I write into existence
Confidence Stun man doubt in its [inserted above: full counter] start deference to instance
Take witness try to outwit this about get hit with this deliverance
That will [word crossed out] savage any average man be a Savage Maul[?] in utterance
Mayhem mutter in its magnificence triple double averaging talent word of governance
The convergence of sins unforgivable events currently in occurrence
Furious and intense with pens [03?] weapons in step in Scorpion within Dual[?] Pens
Come in try come in dare with a gun both Rimond I twin at [—] mine [—] and I [—]
Think I went in with my pen begin tremblin to [—] I pencil

---

Page 106 — I did not expect to see a text from you

[Black ink, untitled prose. Text fills the upper half of the page; two short lines separated below.]

I did not expect to see a text from you not gonna lie to you
Not sure what to do I want to trust you I do I don't understand you
I appreciate the apology but why did I get it all has me wondering
Desperate I may be but I be no dummy I have a guess I confess
as what really cut you off from me and here back to me yes
I can tell I'm just a plan be but whatever it [techin?] me
best it can be even though you clearly don't understand me
Or the type of man I be see what I can see however
I am happy to see you text me actually be nice to me
After being ice cold to me see is brings I read almost it saved my
Poetry is over being done but then panic attack begun I'm glad I
I still would like to be a friend! if you wanna be one.
Thank you glad thats done was fun Thank you make this day again

Hey hey ayye yuh

How can I expect you to its

---

Page 107 — Why do you do what you do?

[Black ink, untitled. Two blocks of writing in the upper half of the page; faint show-through at top not transcribed. A small ink mark and partial circle drawn below the text.]

Why do you do what you do? Do you have a clue as to why you do as
You do I don't think you do if you do why do you do what you do what did I do?
To you what did I do to you for you to treat me as you do Please be true
For me to see what I did to you allow me to see how you do

Hey what's up what's up?!? Did not expect to hear from you
and I still don't seems like you decided not after all but this time I did not
trust you to get hopes up. What did you other once hook up then broke up?
Or you just want to pic up and get your jokes up take a few more pokes [—]
whenever I get any more I just lied felt a bit more inside died when I tried
damned if I do damned if I don't hurt if I tried [—] if I lie

---

Page 108 — Dro Stop

[Black ink. Title at top reads "Dro Stop" with a letter crossed out after "Dro" and a crossed mark after "Stop"; "Yung Case" written beneath the title. Show-through below the text not transcribed.]

Dro Stop
Yung Case

YungCase yuh yuh YungCase yuh yuh Yung YungCase aye
yuh aye YunCase yuh aye YunCase yuh aye DaGooseKing Salute Da Goose [—]
Yeah you know what it is you ain't ready for this catch this fist
like that how about this punches in bunches lazer guided DaGoose don't miss
DaGoose let loose without a base continues on 1-2-1-2 dude hit snooze didn't get to choose
Limp nearly lifeless body laying like this mind's crazy maybe he's hearin' his [—]
YungCase his hands on the waist didn't waste this to take a jan didn't [word crossed out] face the piss

---

Page 109 — 3.2.1 imitate let go!

[Red ink, untitled. Three blocks. Show-through from the next page visible at top, not transcribed. A small burn hole in the middle block. One word crossed out in the last block.]

3.2.1 imitate let go!
I just want to let it go I just want to let it flow
I'm forreal a damn Showcase I'ma hit the pedal and let it roll

When I say I want a Switch I'm on my nintendo shit
Or I am talking about my tech with the extendo clips
When [—] say you want a Switch lay on your gender shit
trying to chop off your dick and install bitch tits and lips

Is it really too much asking for a woman to accept me as I am
I'm not a bad guy a bit odd but whos not no [word crossed out] fuck me as I am [—]
I don't want to make someone fall for who I admit that I lied [—] to fall in l[—]
Once I've had these fights in the past I pass on the replay If I may
So why can't I be who I am then if I feel compelled to change
Then I'll change let the rearranse

---

Page 110 — Da Freaky / Fake

[Black ink. Two pieces on one page. Faint red show-through from the next page below, not transcribed.]

### Da Freaky

Da Freaky
Dirty Lizard

Da Freaky Da Freaky Da Da Da Freak Hit me wit Da Freaky
If you Gut and Seek me better not be clean squeaky you speak me
I o

### Fake

Fake

I don't care if you like me dislike me want to fight me or want to fuck me
Or any other way I make you feel
I only care two things 3 more ideas Respect me and respect you will be respected
but don't steal from love of God keep it real
If you disrespect me you'll get checked and wrecked Catch you trying to steal
End up on my highlight reel

---

Page 111 — Yea Yea Yea I'm that one guy aye

[Black ink, untitled, very dense full page. Small words inserted above several lines; a word crossed out with "pokes madness" written above it in the middle of the page. Show-through of the next page's title at top, not transcribed. Many lines run off the right edge.]

Yea Yea Yea I'm that one guy aye That White guy aye
Yea Yea Yea Rhymes that shine [inserted above: brightest] aye Every time in Every Rhyme White lines aye
From out my White Mind of Mine aye White guy White Rhymes I blow some white lines aye
Every Time White guy blew past ya in the White line Faster like E celebrate yea y
Yea Yea Yea White guy go crazy they say aye Baked [—] goin to cake brate yea y
She has an amazing B-Day I'm sure it was her [word crossed out; inserted above: written pokes madness] or me in my game
This White Guy almost said your real name aye then realized not a K aye name is to not say
White Guy White Rhymes White lines White Lies
Nobody can out write out Rhyme my White Mind
Anybody tries to go toe to toe with me don't know what I know to be they be too slow to the to be
three toe to me can't let go of me cause they never got hold of me wish please like you everyone matter
Chance of controlling me just a bunch of these returns to me some shows to me they stand to be as to myself
Oh so JC [—] freak ink elite released to Beast coast God toast by white boy out west no test go
West coast just roast Finesse caused [—] too sharp notice their throats at the points by [—]
White back from out east let it right at least This pen be the best reppin out them [—]
Golden eggs in this nest head of DaGooseKing in this Chest better Check yer game I'm paying dues
I confess not I may be depressed something will be pressed you'll be impressed I am I ots no rush to you I may just
be admired less than a man if man you plan to test I'm the man should invest be I'm so damn obsessed
Damn man I'm just too blessed plan to rise where the rest the planers haist Check this counter
Records inside Seth the Program here biggest in this Universe I'm outer about to strap out my
doubter crushing clout I'm out pour much heat when I spit out bars the passing out weep the air
from dropping bars I popped in From Mars [—] goin home past the Stars
This White Bastard blew right past ya in order the White Guy is Master at Bars

---

Page 112 — The River

[Black ink. Title at top. Show-through below the text not transcribed.]

The River

Like the river my mind ever flowing
Never stopping forever going
Rest is something it is never knowing
On the surface calm intensity Not showing
Beneath the surface rapids never relent
To cross is a dangerous task if unto went
Odds are your energy will all be spent
Dragged under drowned swept away by the under current
Such unpleasant way to your end you went
To meet whatever god you want I'll have you sent
It's inevitable to mine all wills will be bent
It's evident to force of nature I made my ascent
Try me and to the underworld you'll make your descent
Body swept away where it goes Nobody knows
I'll have you dispose where I chose plant you from which new life grows
No halting my flows Even if ice cold All life froze I'll be running like a nose
Which just shows even at my lows the law I now pose limits no one knows
If I chose I can be a life giver
Or To deaths door I can deliver
For unstoppable is the mighty River

---

Page 113 — Giver

[Black ink. Title at top; page mostly blank, with lines spaced apart. A small word is inserted above one line in the middle block.]

Giver

I'm the Giver of memories

Deliver me to river [inserted above: liver] liver I forgivether the giver [—] give
me shivers misgivers

I'm calling I am falling I am stalling I am balling
I am

What has come of me what has become of me

---

Page 114 — The White Devil

[Title in red ink, with a red word in the left margin at the title line reading "Orcune[?]" and a red doodle in the left margin below. First four lines in red ink; the rest in black ink.]

The White Devil

The 1st King the savage king of pride st. YungCase DaGooseKing
Was the first to arrive upon this Devils Night Its onsight
YungCase DaGooseKing: You dare to show this level of disrespect
to DaGoose King? Then you inspired me. I decided to do this
Since way back you were doing laps in your papi's nutsack
You better set back or get smacked get your skull cracked when you act
Jaw Jacked. Plan to only break the golden Law [—] which is desplaceable
in its own possibly maybe noticeably by Stealing from the Rap God

---

Page 115 — Try

[Blue ink. Title at top. Five lines; show-through below not transcribed. Small marks written above two words in the last lines.]

Try

I-I-I-Try, Try-Try-Try-I, I-Try-I-Try All I can do is Try
All I can do is Try yeah yeah ooh yeah All I can do is Try
[Ooh?] I see that shit give it a try, Lemme Try Lemme Lemme Try-Try I wanna Try
Yeah Yeah Ooh Yeah Lemme Try Lemme Lemme Try Yeah Yeah ooh Yeah Lemme Lemme Try
Lemme Try Lemme Lemme Try Yeah Yeah Oh Yeah All I can do is Try All I can do [—] Try

---

Page 116 — What If Jesus already Came Back?

[Blue ink. Title at top, then two lines; the piece stops mid-phrase. Rest of page blank.]

What If Jesus already Came Back?

People talk about the return of Christ as some far away
day of low possibility unlikely to

---

Page 117 — Should Be

[Black ink. Title at top, then three lines. The rest of the page is heavy show-through from the following page, not transcribed.]

Should Be

How it is that we Should be
Allowed the be capable of what we could be
Empowered to set your monster free

---

Page 118 — The Sinner and The Lizard

[Blue ink. Title at top with an ink smudge over it.]

The Sinner and The Lizard

Sin-Sinner Sins in Sin 1!!
s X3
Dirt-Dirty-Dirt Dirty Lizard!!
X3
And we're here to fuck shit up lets go
Sin 1 v 1

Dirty Lizard v1 - The Lizard has entered the chat
Filthy Wizard Spaz

---

Page 119 — For the Love of Rhymes

[Blue ink. Title at top with a smudged word in it; subtitle beneath. Many lines run off the right edge. "L4D L4D" written at the bottom, separated from the piece.]

For the Love of Rhymes
Hip hop Celebration

I'm so honored to be able to join in on this occasion
Especially as a Midwestern Caucasian making this rhyme amazing
blazing love so amazing for this art form I was raised in
I had embraced in the dynamic place in music with so many tastes
That chase and relentless pace this is a celebration of hip hop rap
Elevations to new heights got me levitating no hesitating
My life I'm dedicating myself to this my soul whole is the toll
Rhymes are the love of my life if I could have it my
desire my lady with a knife give no fucks about the flight I'm [—]
but center in gunfight but might lose track of me when I take flight
Not shy by the slice your whole pride Let's take it back
Practically a baby of alive for five years when that Shady guy
blonde hair blue eyes said "Hi [—], first hit my ears [—] me
Steaming out planning and standing out expanding and
I'll show a lyrical surgeon bladder hitter on bed wetters
As [—] that man of Letters Paranormal trend setters
But for real thank you Slim probably never would have fell in love
with rhyming it wasn't for Em when I said Slim I meant Shady not DJ Slim C
Although but I'm cool with him too me and Slim C on same team see?
Thank you Tech Ning when I first heard him I said what the fuck he meant

L4D L4D

---

Page 120 — Twist

[Red ink. Title at top, then three lines. The rest of the page is faint show-through from other pages, not transcribed. Stains at the bottom of the page.]

Twist

I think what I may[?] need in my in my life to be legit
Is for someone to pull up with a ton of weed for me to hit
For real doesn't even need to be that Killer Killer bud[?] shit

---

Page 121 — Why Lie?

[Red ink. Title at top. One word crossed out near the start of the fourth line.]

Why Lie?

Why lie? Why Lie?, Why lie? Why did you Lie?
Why Why Why did you lie lie lie Why Lie?
Why did you lie?
Why did [word crossed out] when I asked you if you if you were seeing another guy
Why did you make me believe you were gonna give us a try
Why did you get my hopes feeling high
Why did you make me cry
Why did you make me want to die
Why did I believe your lie?
Why did you lie?
Why Lie?
What was the point

---

Page 122 — I Would

[Black ink. Title at top with a smudged/crossed word after it. Show-through below the text not transcribed.]

I Would

I would cross any amount of space
I would travel to any point in time
I would win any and every race
I would to the top of any mountain climb
I would do anything to see your face
I would do it all if I could make you mine
I would I would but unfortunately not the case
I would if I could break these two[?] wish I could would that embrace
I would rather not let that love go to waste
I will pour my heart into every line my love for you in every Rhyme
If there was any possibility I could to make you mine
I would.

---

Page 123 — Summoned Me

[Title in blue ink: "Summoned Me" — the first word written over a crossed-out word — with "L4D" beneath it. A crossed-out line "Oh my" below the title. Body in black ink, with one line reworked: words crossed out and "I'm a damn Zombie" inserted above. Two lines run off the right edge.]

Summoned Me
L4D

[Oh my — crossed out]

L4D L4D off to Hell for me hear what I said
L4D L4D [crossed out: I'm left for dead] I'm a damn Zombie I'm left for dead
L4D L4D off to hell for me hear what I said
L4D L4D I'm a damn Zombie fear I'm Left 4 Dead
x2
I'm stuck trapped in my head and left 4 dead
I tried to die I'm alive instead Over and over to this demon I am [—]
Gave Suicide a try and I survived oh was I misled

---

Page 124 — Who You Want

[Black ink. Title at top partly cut off in the photo, reading "Who You Want". Full page; heavy scribble doodles down the left margin. Several lines run off the right edge.]

Who You Want

I-I-I... I-I-I I'm sorry girl I'm not who you w[—]
I'm not who you you want I'm not who you want wish I was
No I'm not who you think you do but I promise I'm not
I know you think you do but want the not who you want
No No I'm not who you want who you think I be
You don't want me You want who you think I would be
I wish I could be That So sorry So sorry
But I never can be That So I'm not who you want
I'm not who you want No I'm not who you want
I have this broken heart whenever it start
First be beautiful art beautiful art
Then it starts Then it starts broken Parts
Flies apart things get dark This dog now will bark
First sparks like beautiful stars
Followed by shame pain so many scars
You will get hurt I will get hurt
If you get hurt I'll be in the dirt
Won't be alive with myself if you get hurt
Around me I'm tired of people getting hurt
I'm not who you want No I'm not
I'm not who you want No No I'm not
I'm not who you want Girl I'm telling you I'm not
I know you think you do but I promise you I'm not
I-I-I... I wish I was who you want I wish I wish I wish
I-I-I wish I could be who you want I wish I could be
I should be who you want I'm sorry that I'm not I'm sorry
I would be who you want if I could be who you want Sorry
I could never be who you want I wish I was who you wa[—]
I'm sorry I'm so so sorry I'm just so sorry so so so
That I'm not that I'm not I'm not who you want I
I'm not who you want

Page 125 — Freeze It

*[Blue ink on lined notebook paper. Title at top: "Freeze It". Heavy pencil show-through below; not transcribed. The last line trails off mid-word.]*

Freeze It

Bitches are the best, at turning me to fuckin mess
Yes Bitches can be the worse, Bitches hitting me with a curse
They grab their little [wileness?] stick out of their purse
Wave that shit just like so that hoe put you in a hearse
Next to my white ass been dropped so many times your first?
Sooner or later won't need to do shit feel over from the thirst
Oh I know its pathetic ain't it shit is the worst
You get used to it for another mostly at least [—] takes time to ease
It's hard to get used to feeling your heartbeat cease when they Freeze It
Freeze It when they freeze It why they gotta freeze it
Their love they love to tease it soon as your heart starts to believe it
That bitch will turn around and fucking freeze it freeze it
The really bad ones convince you they'd never then when you believe it
That bitch will turn around and freeze it then like [froze?] freezer
They [lie?] take the whole heart stake in front of you and she [will?] eat it
They have that bloody demon in them how to you think the feed it
It's not the womans fault just her nature the bitch needs it
So naturally the y

---

Page 126 — Spend all my time all day the most

*[Page is almost entirely show-through (mirror-reversed text) from the following page; not transcribed. On this page itself there is only one faint line of writing at the top and a small doodle (a flower-like figure) at the right side.]*

Spend all my time all day the most [—]

---

Page 127 — Beautiful

*[Blue ink on a spiral notebook page. Title at top: "Beautiful". The page has two columns: the main piece runs down the left side, and a second piece is written in a column along the right side, enclosed in a hand-drawn curved outline. Left column first, then the right column.]*

### Beautiful

Beautiful so Beautiful Life is so Beautiful
Who knows the most Beautiful is again Refresh my brain
Yes thats it very good to the rest of the class the [—] is plain
Yes pain pain is the very thing beauty is generated from pain to pain
The World wouldn't recognize beauty without having experienced

Life can be beautiful Life can be [pitiful?]
Life can be hard so I gotta be more hard
Throw down the [—] drum from the backyard

If you ever said that you loved me
Odds are shit ended pretty ugly
If you ever have kissed me
I bet you never have missed me
You probably shrug and dissed me
You probably felt like you needed set free
That you felt trapped the moment you let me
Hit it if you regret it wished you never met me

Wish you never said you loved me
Them are the ones treat me so ugly
They always be the ones who hurt me
Convince me they want me only to desert me
The part that I hate is they admit to be hurt by me
When I'm no danger to anyone and only will hurt me
Since they're women and I'm one known freak who is afraid of
It's easy to seal the story I'm a nut case kicking creep
But all I do is listen to Juice and to peep
While afraid to sleep as I weep begging for a friend to keep
I swear one of these days I bet they all flip to reap
Sympathy and how they were always here and how they will weep
When I finally put the strap around my neck and leap

### [Right column, inside the curved outline]

In my room I'm Blu
Yee Mr. Blu you seem so blue
Who I am or what I do
I'm a living ghost hidden too
I got me a few more
than a few loose screws
They say they love my views
until through my lips it spews
than they refuse neither ever [—]
to be excused the reasons to
Speak to me claim I'm
harassing by asking for
why do they do me the worst
they do I never win I lose
I always the one taking the
abuse the one with the feelings
can't tell if this is my
Tomb or [—] in my
my room [—]
[—] in my room
sleep

---

Page 128 — Mad At Love

*[Blue ink on a spiral notebook page. Four pieces on one page: "Mad At Love" at the top; an untitled piece at middle left; "Say So" at middle right (its lines run off the right edge of the page); and an untitled piece at the bottom, marked off by a hand-drawn curved bracket. Faint show-through at top; not transcribed.]*

### Mad At Love

I'm sorry you thought I was mad at you baby
I can never be mad at you no can't do
I'm mad at love itself for thinking that maybe
I had a chance at having it come too
I'm mad at love tricking [—] crazy
Not mad not [never?] could be mad at you
I'm mad at myself I'm mad at Love Baby

I can't believe that I actually had the belief
To have you then you gone in the wind always end like a leaf
Making me mad at love I'll cry as I grieve
Just like the trees women always leaves

### [Untitled — middle left]

What is it about me?
Why do they all doubt me
When I tell them how I be
Unlike anyone they came across
They're like yeah heard that one boss
Then the magic comes off at a loss
Quick Grab a demon holy cross
Repel the demon to hell shall he toss

### Say So

*[Lines run off the right edge of the page and are cut off.]*

If you say-so I don't know if you say s[—]
Never get my way so I guess so if you say [—]
I spray flow when I say go I [—] the way I fl[—]

### [Untitled — bottom]

I think I've gone insane Devil in my brain
Sent his demon herd flooding through my veins
Oh my dear Lord could you help me contain
Maybe help heal away all this pain
Looks like my soul is permanently stain
My brothers help if you're able sorry I am Cain
Need to stay on my path yuh yuh in my lane
After finding me trying over and over again
May be peace I'll eventually attain

Page 129 — Same

[Blue ink. Title "Same" with "Bizarro" written beneath it. Heavy show-through from the following pages fills the lower half of the page and is not transcribed.]

Same
Bizarro

I am not the same man I am not the same
I don't know people can't see I changed but my face the same
I may have the same [face — inserted above] and the same name
But there's so much that has changed been rearranged
I feel so strange looking at photos of him look just like me
But its not me that man is gone cease to be I different guy named Casey
I almost don't like hearing that name feels me with phantom sorrow
Because he's gone just his face I owned but inside I am Bizarro
I know that seems strange but so much has changed
I know I'm in his body when the other one came saved they claim
Not quite more like changed salvaged when they both died
They took some of one what they could use from the other together they
Refused the same body to be honest more inclined
That I'm not unlike if the soul gets frankensteined
But just cause the frame is still good I don't quite fill the whole lines [?]
In my mind

---

Page 130 — That's who you want is Poe back in your life

[Blue ink, full page. No title visible at the top; faint show-through only.]

That's who you want is Poe back in your life
So you thought to get your Poe you can mold me to be with me [?]
Well I have a good question how that turn out for Poe
How great was the All time Great Edgar Allan Poe's life
Fucking miserable from what I can tell seems quite right [?]
Because ever since you came thundering into my life fun [?]
I've been in constant hell and torments I was ok you had to go
Fuck it all up to torture my soul to produce your fucking Poe
Sure your bullshit when I didn't want this for me I was so
Young a kid offering so much more then I have actually got no no no
You only gave me pain everything soul stories depression you gave me nothing
but hell you literally stole everything I've ever had multiple times
And yet every fucking time after every tragedy I gave you every ounce in those [?]
I poured everything in to those damn rhymes now theres nothing left in stone [?]
I poured every time in all my time into those rhymes this is a goddamn crime [word written above]
I loved you and you never once gave a fuck about not one time

I gave every bit of soul just so you'd behave but you're never happy No
The only thing that can't possibly do so I have to literally die again so
You can took and pick my soul all that I could've been but will never know
All so you can have your poor miserable force punching bag Poe
I will no longer allow you to be the source of my misery
the gate to my own hell see I'll make my escape [?] that those [?] closed [?]
This is it 13 years you and you are through I [?] you
13 years of sadness of madness I let you have this control
13 years I'm finally standing my ground and demand back my soul
13 years of torment, abuse, neglect, starvation, tears only god will know
13 years I am divorcing you Poetry [?] you and me
13 years I can't believe I was so so wrong about you NO NO
13 years ago I signed on to be something I didn't know
13 years and I am done being your Edgar Allan Poe

---

Page 131 — 13 Years

[Blue ink, full page. Several lines run off the right edge of the page.]

13 Years

13 years thats crazy think we been together that long
13 years same amazing things in the [?] strong weather [?] [?]
13 years of me and you no matter we had the other back [?] so [?] home [?] [?]
I've been beyond loyal to you you are the truest love of my entire life
Been through wars for you so many tours for you how many tears have been
My mind has torn so many times so many memories are [?] [?]
I have so many issues can't hide my mental scar tissue yet quiet is you [?]
The more and more I give to you the more you need one by one [?]
That's right you read it right read what I said what I write whose
Oh does that upset you being called a whore well don't be a whore
For where I've been as loyal as it gets you spoiled little bitch
How many cuts have I taken with [?] bust and wounds open [?] you [?]
How many infections detections ignored [?] all in deliberation more like
Manipulation to reuse medications without hesitation how many? How MANY?
How many cuts? How many other dudes with their pens up in [?]
Chicks too anyone with a [?] to post near air with anything once out the [?] Guess?
I don't know you sure as fuck don't know you fully not that [?]
that hurts me the most is I spent 13 years pouring my soul into
Make this work all those years all those tears all those fears poured into
whatever this is here.

13 years fitting 13 years this all started on the fateful night
With the raging storm and my life was destroyed in its wake
Now 13 [years?] it storm has came to wash all the blood & blame away
After all the gave to you that you still stole everything from me the [?]
Never content to be in a compartment of my life you had to be dominant
They were all battling within you the reason I could never be happy in love
You just had to have every bit of what was leaving me ashes and dust
Never fucking happy never let me be happy all those cuts are you [?] that
me because if you can't have me no one can
Every slice was your hurt guided by your plan
How many others have lost their ties too I know of the man [?]
I know you are still hung up on that guy you wish was me in your eye
That mad genius from long long ago that you can't hold on [?]
So you took [?] I'm what just needed to be cut! Hence so [?] how you [runs off edge]

---

Page 132 — Dear ASAP

[Black ink, top section of the page only; the rest of the page is show-through from the following page and is not transcribed. Two lines at the right edge run off the page.]

Dear ASAP

Dear ASAP
Damn Big Dawg I still can't believe we lost you
But at the same time I am after hearing how much it does exhaust you
I can't imagine the amount of energy just breathing would cost you
You are a real one a good man with caring open hand Boss who
stood on business with that same care and hand [?] it at any who cross you or th[—]
It was you who showed me the proper way to run a group
The way you were joyful and expected loyalty made sure everyone felt a part of the group
While also make everyone felt they were kept in the loop
Most importantly to remain despite the bashing and slashing to keep the passion in the ar[t?]
You are craftin don't go half in but still laughin and have fun while you hoop

---

Page 133 — Lonely Clone

[Blue ink. Two pieces on one page.]

### Lonely Clone
Bizarro

Yur yur Its me Bizarro
[?] dont — Down you all run for yo [?]
I just need for people to understand
I'm not that bad a guy I just don't understand
Certain interactions of intimacy in action
When I was brought into creation
I didn't get to go start at a hospital nursery station
No I was already 23 years old as an imitation
A clone of who apparently I was before me and him have little
relation no clue other than fucked up memories of his for indication [?]
Which is chalked full of tragic situations of awful sensations
and so much self hatred and humiliation [?] of desperation
No wonder that bastard chose suicide as his destination

### [Untitled — "Listen here clean your ear"]

Listen here clean your ear hear I was born the Year of H Baware the Dog [?] [?]
Dog Dog [?] Year of the Dog know where Pt bull got but pull not let this go [?]
Boy that boy got that dog in him look the Devil in them
[?] with the Pride this Devil be in denim spittin that venom
Can't be rattle when a battle in them when in a battle I win them
[?] with the Pride this Devil be in denim spittin that venom

---

Page 134 — You'd be impressed [?] lies

[Black ink. Only three lines at the top of the page are inked; the rest of the page is faint show-through and is not transcribed. Lines run off the right edge.]

You'd be impressed [?] lies atleast surprised when realized I make two [feats?]
I make them smile I still got my soul with a smile
I'm able to stand alone in the heat not scattered [?] as real motherfuckers never gave a fuck about style I'm too fucking wild the Rabid Reptile

---

Page 135 — Stalker

[Blue ink, full page. Two pieces on one page, with a short repeated-syllable passage written between them.]

### Stalker
Bizarro

Its your boy Biz you know I'm bringing that sorrow
I got so much I got plenty for you to borrow
Its everyones favorite clone to hate Biiizarro!!!
Bizarro getting Bizzy Busy Biz be hard though
Don't go please don't leave me all alone
They always leave this clone on my own
Don't go the shadows grow long
What did I do wrong
Why do I alone in dark belong
Why can't we just fix things get along
Help me right my wrongs
I'm drowning all these sad songs
I'm scared I don't know if I can stay strong
I beat upon my chest but don't feel like King Kong

te the te te te dah
te tetetetetardah [as written]

### Real

Real
I'm a real one, I feel none, conceal a ton,
Reveal none I'm a Real one, Always been a real one, Always will be a Real one

---

Page 136 — Where have you gone?

[Black ink, top section of the page only; the rest of the page is blank apart from show-through.]

Where have you gone? I gotta move on.
I do I know gotta move on I know you are gone you done already moved on
I know ain't thought of me and what we coulda once be is long gone your mind is now on
Yet mine you are never not on you're always on I fear you forever be on she never be gone
I swear I don't know of which causes me more scare that you'll always be there
Or someday someway comes a day we forget you were ever there [?] I [?] a face whose [?]
I completely forgotten looking into those eyes and stare at what nothing else can compare [?] that [?]

---

Page 137 — Breakin Bars Ep.1

[Blue ink, top section of the page only; the rest is show-through.]

Breakin Bars Ep.1

Yo yo whats up Bizarro I know what you're thinkin
Cap'n Cook in the building [?] its me Jesse Pinkman
Born and raised here in the [?]
Better watch it out might get murked
Slingin that crystal putting in work

---

Page 138 — Hate Me

[Black ink, top section of the page only; the rest is show-through. Some words written over other words.]

Hate Me

They mean Hatin They keep hatin I been a [?] I'll be celebrating
They still Hatin Good keep Hatin I am not fucking [?] never broken
Said you'll never break me Never take me with pen in hand or them hands
So keep on hatin Everybody hates me
Hate Everybody hates me publicly or behind a closed door
Even [?] or don't care nor will I change for that i I respect more [?]
But if you choose the open door I'll give you a reward for

---

Page 139 — I Think

[Blue ink, top section of the page only; the rest of the page is blank apart from show-through.]

I Think

I think I'm a complete dumbass with no game no class
I think I wont find anything that will last I feel too damn fast
I think I may actually be cursed that I'm the worst
I think I ruined chance to be happy that look at like coat of possibilities was the least [?]
I think my whole existence is cursed for torment like a bad cosmic jest
I think I'm lying to myself when I claim different I'm worse than the rest

---

Page 140 — Curse

[Black ink, long page. A top section of four lines, then a long stretch of show-through (not transcribed), then a second section of nine lines in the lower half. Many lines run off the right edge. Faint reversed writing at the top is show-through of the "Mother" page.]

Curse

I wake up in this dark place locked in a hearse
I broke up with the [?] so face lack of remorse
Wake up not in this case I fact even worse
I cursed with the old Case anti to Death reject me as is my Curse

[Second section, lower half of the page:]

Soaking in all this pain so absorbed of torment
Demons always scheming don't relent in my head don't pay for rent
Happiness and Joy are so foreign I can't afford it
Even when its dark my Mind shine unlike any other kind you may find
Take hands of time put them in a bind when I pen a rhyme so divine make time rewind
Back to a time you too [?] was before you [?] to find all it still affects you in back of your mind
Slowly it grind you down over time find strength in my lines the kind to [?] the [?] go at [?]
By [?] in you the past behind by may not have been kind hated design you [?] too you are defected [?]
Show you how to walk the line to a better time in each line in my Rhymes

---

Page 141 — Mother

[Blue ink, full page. Several lines run off the right edge. Small words are inserted above some lines.]

Mother

The single most important person in my life is my Mother
Literally about every single And I love her with a certain love unlike any other ["about" inserted above]
She is a huge factor a connection connecting me and the rest of my family to one another
She brought me into this world along with my Big Brother and Lil Brother
The link between me and my grandmother [who?] my grandmother ["ones causing" inserted above]

Hey Mother Mom Momma you know I've always been a mommas boy
Always will you know I'm so grateful for the life you provided to enjoy
The one person that I can't lie to for me the guilt would destroy
Hell I even owe my name sake and most the [?] I employ
Drives me from you your name is mine but mine equivalent to a boy
Jennifer K. Henley Jonathan Casey Henley
I may not always get along with my mother
Its true we have had fights with each other unlike any other
We have said some of the most hateful things you could ever say
I am very empathetic and feel others emotions knowing exactly what needs [?]
Cut the deepest and cause the most utmost pain which shows the same way
I mean where did you think I got it from although admittedly I play
At the next level I don't like to lose and I get creative with what I say
She has her go to lines but aim freestyle any damn day
But she's sensitive I'm not you get once to cause pain then it won't work again
Because if something hurts me I then will repeat it and top it lockdown broken
And completely numb myself so whenever you try it again no momentum frozen
I'll be laughing in your face then unleash all new things that [?] you
But this isn't about how I can emotionally destroy you
This is just a side rant about my love I feel to
My Mother yes we are assholes all of us are true
Mostly its the only common thing we all share and we all can do
And the [?] family times this family has we are all assholes to
Each other and at moments not be But I love em all I do
But None as much as my Mother I love you above all Its true

---

Page 142 — Out of the Blu

[Blue ink, top section of the page only. The third line is crossed out.]

Out of the Blu

Where did you you you come from come from come from
Swear out of the blu blu blu where from [?] How come
[Crossed out:] You have you not come

I think something finally was done right
I'm finally getting someone that's always been in my sight
I'm such a fool for not capitalize sooner but it's alright

---

Page 143 — Redlights

[Blue ink, top section of the page only; the rest of the page is blank.]

Redlights

All I see are Red lights headlights deadlights
Welcome to my dark Mind I'd like to shed light
On the fact I'm a little loco Never took my meds right
By then I threw that shit away get it out of my damn sight
Maybe thats why I'm not all right but that all right
I don't [?] kill [?] lefties and all bald and white all right [?]

---

Page 144 — Burn

[Blue ink, full page. A long bracket drawn down the left margin links the sections.]

Burn

My times up now time for the fire
I've earned my turn to burn thanks for your concerns
My times up never seen flames any higher
Yea I've earned my turn to burn thanks for your concern
My mind changed up too like time has expired
I learned no returns time for me to burn but I get to pick my urn

I really died that night God made it right
Promised no more suicide I'm sorry but guess I lied
Life has been a hell of a ride waves crashing drown in high tide
Most of my life spent on outside spent so many nights I cried
I wanted to live a full life I tried looks my request by love denied
I'm sorry mother I'm sorry brothers I tried I guess destiny not on my side
I really tried I'm so sorry I lied Did not want to lie this is goodbye
Hook x2

I can't believe my life already went by
They weren't joking saying that time fly
It's no wonder most people never figure out why
Life travels so fast before you know it you die
They don't make that remote can't click rewind
But that shit stuck on repeat PIP in your mind
Hook x1
Bridge

---

Page 145 — Dream

[Blue ink, full page, two inks in the last section (the final lines are written darker). Two small margin marks at the left. Some lines run off the right edge.]

Dream

Nothing is ever what it seems
Everything coming apart at the seams
My brain and heart never on the same team
Always fighting each other hurt my self esteem
I can't tell if I'm awake or is this a dream
Either way if I'm asleep dropping rhymes in my reign supreme [?]
I'm falling I open mouth to scream what's the sound of a cringe of scene [?]
What was that where did it come from what does it mean I cringe of scene [?]
Where did everyone go? Home bro that was end of the show.
"Show what show? End of what show?" come on you know its over [?]
"Please tell me about the show" "It was the end of [—]"
Try to ask he [?] stepped yourself though where did the sound go
I see him getting mad but can't seem not [?] can't seem
To understand what does this mean I'm coming apart at the seams [?]
Here I go go all alone roll solo don't know out I go [?]
Can someone try to wake me from this bad dream
I'm trying to wake but just can't seem
Demons ripping at my seams Are these memories of Dem[ons?]
If all we see or seem is but a dream within a dream
[?] tell me why why I dream this [?] doesn't seem
But then I didn't them it would seem this nightmare I live
Is someone else's Dream?

Nothing is as it seems Never what it seems I try to scream
I'm [too tired — crossed out] I need help where is my team where's my team
There they are screaming at me [don't hear a thing / it seems — written small] What is the sound of a Dream

---

Page 146 — You Know Mr. White

[Blue ink, top section of the page only; the rest is show-through. Two short sections.]

You Know Mr. White

Jesse Pinkman the name take a look
Yeah bitch Yeah bitch its Cap'N Cook
Really

Jp. You met Mr. White so you know who's the [protagonist?]
Yeah bitch thats right you know the other type in this duo since the basics [?]
Yeah bitch Yeah bitch Jesse Pinkman go here take a look
Mr White is Heisenberg

---

Page 147 — Hate Shxdi

[Photo was upside down; page rotated 180° to read. The whole page is written upside down in the notebook. The main piece occupies one end of the page; a column of single words stands in the middle; two lines at the far end are written in the opposite orientation to the rest. Several words could not be confirmed and are bracketed.]

Hate Shxdi

Why do they hate Shxdi Maybe they think I wanna be
They hate me why do they hate [?] at me [?] with Stunna 3:16
I know if I'm on a [battle?] [?]
In fear my [?] some lame dork ass[?] [?]
Like deserve all you were coming for this [?]
What would you expect to create it want to wear Saint[?]less [?]
In a desert where its darkness
for all the good it'll do you [?] you frail [?]

[Column of single words:]
That is founded
Forming town
Worthless
No crowd
An chorus [?]
Circus
Sight

[Written at the other end of the page, in the opposite orientation:]
I Fight more than hurt you in the Universe I [?] feel
I write circles around these Urkels till they purple
Highlight lyrics 2 mark tools

Page 148 — Not Me

[Red ink; title and byline in red at top. First section in red ink; final two lines in black ink. A small spiral doodle below the black lines. Rest of page is show-through.]

Not Me
J.C Henley

No No Doc thats not whats up
I only want whats best for all of us
You're knocking on the [?] something so hideous, so mischievous, hideous
So [—] murderous especially when hungry and he thinks human blood
tastes so damn delicious
Doc anyway I J.C am always on the good side however I'm not the only
One inside mine is the kind you'd find division lines each
Section is one chunk that broke off

[Black ink:]

Look at me who do you see I guarantee whoever it be It's Not Me
It couldn't be It shouldn't be How could it be who could it be Not Me

---

Page 149 — I done told you I'm a soldier I'm getting older

[Black ink. Faint reversed writing at the top of the page is show-through, not transcribed. Below the verse, two short labels are written mid-page, and two titles with no text under them are written near the bottom.]

I done told you I'm a soldier I'm getting older [?] settling colder
Than winters shoulder swing my meat hammer [?] two grown men boulders
I'm not [?] dreamer just woke [?] like I been chugging Folgers
I'm a Schroeder raised by a [?] because It gets colder my name is Henley
Combo sell them up no wonder I got so many demons within me
It's getting late in the day best you go away Before the final ray of
Sunshine remains at the [?] At Night they come out to play
Hush! Not your something they have no manners speak into [?] what you say

[Written mid-page, left and center:]

Pee Pee
Ungrateful

[Written near the bottom of the page, titles only:]

Hurt Me
Please dont hurt me

Cutting

---

Page 150 — Curse

[Black ink; four lines at the top of the page. The rest of the page is show-through.]

Curse

I have this curse let me tell you in verse
Want to just disperse my brains with a gun burst
This wouldn't be the first time I thirst for the hearse
Going from worse to the worst because of this curse

---

Page 151 — Mouse Trap

[Blue ink. An insertion is written above the first line ("by me can not be undone") and a word is crossed out in the first line and again further down.]

Mouse Trap

Rhymes laid by me at times made by me might seem [—]
Spring this trap it may not have a spring to be sprung but the pin
Will be gruesome and upon yourself it will be brung place your
Feet on the trap now to it shall be clung Alarms in your skull being rung
Try with every thing while screaming at the top of each lung
Feel the curses tear down your tongue as the ripping popping the splitting
Squirting end of skirting dripping reality within instincts not stopping
No longer caring began tearing as the situation begins scarring
Past your bearings straight in the eyes of Death you are staring
Uncontrollable shaking just a quaking voice [?] either breaking
That is finished you are cooked oh my Goodness [?] as your [—] is [?]
[?] as dead your corpse just leave it that trap is mighty adhesive
Alone on my own I remain sticking my [?] alone I don't miss when it comes
To making my swiss I just had to lay the trap then let the mice submits
Or rip itself to bits

---

Page 152 — To The Dark / Will Go

[Blue ink. Two pieces on one page: a short section at the top right, headed "To The Dark" with "Curse freestyle" written beside it, then the main piece below. A line at the start of the top section is crossed out.]

### To The Dark — Curse freestyle

[Crossed out: To be honest I]
Image/Case,
You must not know I can be the worst
Just been [?] since birth I really am cursed
Trust in what I say for it wouldn't be the first
Lust in that way for I have always felt thirst
Love is not for me love have this fuckin curse
I'll be stuck crowding for it in every verse
Till I'm tucked in my grave arm [?] in your purse

### Will Go

I don't know know know know
How or I will go go go go
Sometimes feels like tomorrow row row row
Seems to be tome so so so so
Far for me to hold hold hold hold
On to what little hope hope hope hope
Why I lost another to nope nope nope nope
Before then I'll give in to the rope rope rope rope
Don't want to just how it'll go go go go
That's just what I know know know know
What I know know know know
How it will go go go go
Wish it wasn't so so so so
Only have so many tomorrow row row row
With all my damn sorrow row row row
Only one way I know know know know
How it will all go go go go
Wish it wasn't so so so so
But I already know know know know
How it all will go go go go
go go go go
go go go go
Yeah I already know how it will go

---

Page 153 — Too Tired to Care

[Blue ink, full page. Several lines run long and are hard to read; uncertain words are bracketed.]

Too Tired to Care

Too Too Tired I'm too tired to Care
Care Care Care I'm too tired to Care
Too too Tired Tired I'm too tired to Care
You managed to hurt me had me down bad
I wanted to hate you wanted to stay mad
Wanted to unload on you gave you all I had
But I know that I can't keep it there
Even if you did me wrong so unfair
Basically hit me blind sided with a solar flare
But nowadays I don't have the energy too spare
I'm just too Tired Tired to Care
I'm just too Tired to Care
hook x2
I'm not gonna lie, I really wanted to try, Try to be your guy, [?] I
First met you, wanted to get you, But Alec was obsessed with you
I'm too loyal it's an issue, So I ignored you, it's true, Even if I felt you,
were into me too, Shoulda went for you, Now I feel too, Thought I had you
That I may had you, but then you, found another man who, [?] hate with [?] you
Honestly how can I blame you, If I were you I'd probably do the same as you
Because I have so many issues, This is true, This [?] needs some tissues
If you and dude fall through, Give me a call to give this a [?] too,
Which I guess if you will be able too, Depends on the amount of time it takes you
because if it happens quickly I'm down too, But if you two [?] after years too
Come back around too, Then I'm sorry to inform you, that task I won't be able
to perform for you, Because I highly doubt I'll still be around for I'm not staying
because of you, No this was decided before you, I won't be around for you
I'll most likely be [?] or separated into multiple bags to my family
Given to, maybe depending or not may see me in your dreams, Most likely it seems
Don't you dare, Blame yourself it goes [?] It's so unfair, But I'm [?]
I know it's not fair, But I'm too Tired to Care
Hook

---

Page 154 — Cutting

[First two lines in blue ink; the verse below in black ink. Rest of page is show-through.]

La La La La La La Li La La Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha HaHa Ha
La La La La La La La La La Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha HaHa Ha

Cutting It's cutting Yes it's cutting
I can feel the blade as it is cutting
Cutting I feel it cutting keep cutting
Please just keep on cutting cutting
Cut it out cut my heart out take it away
It must be defected won't do as it is [—] directed
[?] the time can't even detect it

---

Page 155 — Yeah Yeah

[Black ink; two lines at the top of the page. The rest of the page is show-through.]

Yeah Yeah
I already know Yeah Yeah I know Yeah Yeah I know how it will go

---

Page 156 — Devil Inside

[Dark blue ink. A heading at the very top of the page is scribbled out. Two loose lines and a single line sit above the main piece; the heading of the main piece has a word heavily crossed out after "Devil".]

[Heading crossed out]

Devil up in the Traphouse come out play in the [?]
Level up [?] Baskerville hound [?]

Devil in the Traphouse in my ear

### Devil [—]

I got I got a Devil inside
Under the Halo where the horns hide
I got I got this Devil inside
Can't kill it I already tried
I got I got a Devil inside
I thought it was an angel but he lied
I got I got this Devil inside
Recommend you stay on my good side
I got I got a Devil inside
Can't be rid of this Devil Inside
Inside Inside a Devil Inside
Inside Inside this Devil Inside
Can someone help me kill the Devil [—] Inside
I've [done] some things I don't know if I can be forgiven
Thought I killed him but [?] the Devil backwards he lived

---

Page 157 — Lonely / Break My Heart

[Blue ink; the "L" of "Lonely" is in red. Two pieces on one page: a short section at the top, then a longer section below.]

### Lonely — Break My Heart

You had to go break my heart you [?]
Shouldn't have gone break my heart Let you have it
Bitch you broke my heart Bitch I'm savage
I gonna make ya wish regret that, I'm a got my get back
I'm savage

### [Untitled — dead man memories]

Those are not mine memories in my mind
Those are a dead mans in my head I can't
[—] got them Someone come get them Put them for [?] with him
Come get them return them back him bury them with him I don't want them
I'm haunted by them memories of dead man of a dead man memories of dead man
These memories don't belong to me they shoulda died when he ceased to be cause I act he
And I don't want to be he [?] me he was sick and [?] pitiful break
[?] down to the ground the resting [?] and [?] Dere how I be so empty I'm empty
Nothing left in me except for these dead man memories
Get them for me forget these memories A dead man I'm fed up

---

Page 158 — Karma

[Blue ink. Lines run off the right edge of the page. One line near the middle has words crossed out.]

Karma

I know what it is that you did
There's no shade that I'll let you [?] to light
I must bring your foul acts out at night
I know yes I know yourself if I didn't fight
I can not live with myself if I hadn't sought [?]
Even if I don't love my life as I have it [?] might
If the cost to me you down then that bullet I'll bite
You call yourself a man but you're a monster in my sight
My life, so his, [?]: am capric life are worthy to do what is right
My true life [?] her life willing to sacrifice for her life
I know it won't bring her back won't miss my/your powers wife
But Its hard much [—]
But It will stop you from causing anyone else any strife
You will pay for the harm bring to harm her I'll gladly do the honor
I'll be the arm swing I'll shield others in name of right be the Armor
I'll be the glass to break to [?] the alarm rung even if its my last song sung
I know no matter whatever happens to me I shall achieve Nirvana
By facilitating cosmic forces being its embodiment as an Agent of Karma

---

Page 159 — What Does Happy Look Like?

[Blue ink prose, full page, transcribed in full.]

What Does Happy look like?

I was asked what does happy look like from my view?
Well off the bat I replied I'm not allowed to have it, but
Upon further thought what to be happy would look like if I could have it would
First off about destinations to me. It would make home be paradise instead of work
Not say its perfect but safe comfortable not too hot not too cold just right
There be noise, not drama and thriving his music talking singing laughing, were
voices learning bigger voices teaching, when hungry then fed, trips to homeland
Enough funds to be able to get whatever was wanted not overdone spoiled but
modest to be content, to be welcomed, to be wanted, to be appreciated, desired, to feel wanted,
to be cared for, To care for in a give and take, to be completed, understood, [?] to be
Pushed to new limits but compelled to be better not forced, Patient when needed [?] needed
To be looked up without fear resentment or hate but wonder amazement to be a [?]
Then be the guide to satisfy that curiosity, To respect and be respected to be fair
then a little more than fair and be generous to be listened to and desire to listen to all
to be considerate to Truly be free

---

Page 160 — Chosen / Say-So

[Blue ink; "Chosen" is written in red at the top, with "Say-So" beside it in black. Dense full page; uncertain words are bracketed.]

Chosen — Say-So

Yeah okay though don't really know
Sure I [?] - so uh sure that you say so
Yeah uh ok though don't really know
Sure If you Say-So I mean guess so If you say-so
Don't have energy to disagree so [?] on me
Not quite the way that I see but sure maybe
Got my own style but whenever yeah I bet [?] I'm crazy
That's getting redundant that excuse is so damn lazy
The way you can flip it all on me really does amaze me
This is like perfect acting I ain't nowadays watching it
Someone better go ahead and give this bitch an emmy
Yeah okay though don't really know Tell me again how'd it go?
Sure If you Say-So I mean I guess so If you say-so
Yeah okay though I don't really know Tell me again how'd it go?
I'm the crazy one that's right I must've forgot
And you are not? Right right that's what I thought
Any others living in the [?] head of yours you got?
You were the one pressing the issue even offered a [?] to you
To make out with you begging me to date you Once you got [?] so [?] loose too?
Then I slowly rise up to take the bait you straight up slam the gate
Say you need time block me but that won't stop me then investigate
And notice the time you needed worked out great for the date for a date
For your little party by telling everybody to pull up perfect time [?] great
To change your status from Single to Complicated why did complicate
Was it because you couldn't decide who date after y'all got into fornicate
Then dedicate I [?] finding [?] What's going on I'm the one to hate
You fucking nutcase literally got a nut-case free [?] at yeah what man
You fuckin state try to humiliate try degrade fucking try harder cup Cake
My Aim the depression was now aimed at you

---

Page 161 — Karma / Place + Incase

[Two pieces on one page: a short black-ink section at the top under the heading "Karma / Place", then a red-ink piece below.]

### Karma / Place

I am an Agent Karma, As such I operate faithfully to the dogma
If when I get to going start flowing power joins sustaining
I go to depths like that of the ocean no stopping once in motion
locomotion in explosion of corrosion eroding Lotion Trojan

### Incase

[Red ink]

Incase
Empty gun case at my place
They done sold no guns for you case
We know the type of demons you face
So we don't think you should have em Just incase
I act like I don't understand But I know why
That's something that makes me wanna cry
That's something that makes me wanna fly
That's something that makes me wanna die
Yeah I know I shouldn't But I do and don't know Why

---

Page 162 — Fall / Zombie

[Red ink. Two pieces on one page, separated by a band of show-through.]

### Fall

Fall
I'm falling Fall Fall Falling back in the abyss
I'm falling Fall Fall Falling back into this
I'm falling Fall Fall Fall I need help out the Darkness
Someone's calling Call Call Calling wonder who it is

### Zombie

Zombie
Wanna hear a story the true shit type shit he [?]
I Zombie I'm a Zombie you I a walking Deadman
When I talking heard what I said I'm a Zombie
Gets pretty boring pretty gory

---

Page 163 — Don't go back Don't you go back

[Black ink. An untitled verse at the top of the page, then one line written separately below it. Faint writing elsewhere on the page is show-through.]

Don't go back Don't you go back It goes slack goes Black
I'm back I don't how where to go How'd I go back
I can't get out need but please help me I can't see in front of me
The shadows all feel familiar I've smelled this before I feel here before
No No You can't use serious [?] you hearing this I was fear this
Get in gear up on out of here someone help me out of here
Almost out of here wait we were just here we've been going
in circles they're gaining

I knew I would be back in this predicament, Battle with demons recommended

---

Page 164 — BLAK MAGIK

[Black ink; title in large stylized letters. Only the top section of the page is filled.]

BLAK MAGIK

I am the Night walker Shadow Stalker
Life clocker Death Knocker Mind locker
Eye Hawker

Golden Eyes Blue Eyes
Oh so the story consists of one man and woman who
fell for each other then stumble upon magic [?] the [?]

---

Page 165 — Lucifer

[Black/dark blue ink; the title is written faintly at the top. The last line is in red ink. Blue arrow/check marks are drawn in the left margin.]

Lucifer

Doc you don't want none No you don't want none
Look at what you done Best run now and Run
There won't be any let when [?] take without [?]
Oh no you do [?] here to [?] up
But Doc don fucked up yuh
Perfect
Here we go lets do this catch these mitts catch these hits gonna break you
You thought Henley was the [?] lore? You must be joking you
Thought he's Lord of [?] J.C not to be demonic no J.C Henley is the
One you should be feeling grateful holding me back for so long
No don't you ever forget me again
Listen to what I try to tell y J.C keeps the peace the King of Darkness
Is me Lucifer the very son of Lucifer Now I'm gonna enjoy to destroy
Every play you try to deploy
I'm gonna have fun [?] you way overdone
Come on I just come [?] Ready to get fucked up
You dead

The King in Black summons you

[Red ink:]

The Beast is ready to feast off it leash unleashed

---

Page 166 — The Chosen Clone

[Red ink: a title and one line at the top of the page. Everything below is show-through of the Lucifer page.]

The Chosen Clone

I am the one known as Bizarro The Skywalker Chosen Clone

---

Page 167 — The State of The Black

[Black ink; a heading, a sub-line, and the start of a piece at the top of the page. The rest is show-through.]

The State of The Black
A Peek behind the [?]

Hello rhymes [?] to the first time rhymes and my [?] long time [?]
I'm

---

Page 168 — Bleed

[Red ink, top section of the page.]

Bleed

Cut me yeah girl slice me dice me I want you to try to [?] me
Scratch me stab me I want to see blood get at me [?] me
Bitch I want to bleed Gooooh!!! I fucking said Goooooh!!!
Bleed me Bleed me Bitch better fucking bleed me bleed me free me!!
Bleed me [?] me I want to reach me Bite me feed me drink me
I am pleading for more bleeding vision bleeding

---

Page 169 — Some Bull

[Blue ink, dense full page. The title "Some Bull" is at the top, with "That some bullshit" written beside it. There is a small circled doodle at the left. A word is crossed out in an early line, and "thank you" is written at the right edge partway down. The closing lines at the bottom are interleaved; uncertain words are bracketed throughout.]

Some Bull — That some bullshit

I call this [?] bullshit this some bullshit
[?] the fuck up
I know I just to my boy Hershey said that
Because I didn't send a diss in five [—] wait to [?]
His feelings and would've felt bad if I put bro on a shirt
Suppose to [?] and hot cross members in the dirt
So I just decided to avoid to on [?] shirt
Only later saw his verse and saw not how it works
So I was fine with it I'll take my loss if deserved
Because I didn't try to battle and rattle off one of his verses
And I got squared which is cool especially Spec[?]
We had a little running back in the DM
Showed Hersy how I can be wearing a different Jersey
And don't see looms coming with eye lazerbeams
Like Homelander coming firing on sights get it shoot with my eyes
Alright Yu Yu but we knew I got mighty pen game
Rollin on [?] like Noland Grace an Anon call me Omni
Nolan Grayson
But Hersyee is the one who hates the Stan jokes
Bus you gonna say I didn't submit or say shit like B Rabbit Echole
I sent your [?] shit Monday 1:30 PM 6-19 check your next I
I mean I asked you who to send to yourself you got to [?] said
So if I didn't submit and I have the receipt then what up Trip
I'm not Canadian like my boy Trip or SV Wunsler
But I know I submitted my shit I the tree ey Trip
Sooo what do ye think [?] about that ey?
Should I think about referring to call you the Cy J
Saying I didn't submit some bullshit Cy J
Some [?] bullshit there Cy J. ABBD
Whatever I don't mind I lost but show me
Some respect
The same could've
Insurrectioners? Salute DaGooseKing 1212 Show YungCase some
When I submitted a fucking [?] after announcement goddamn respect
Salute DaGoose 1212

Page 170 — Time

[Blue ink.]

Time
No Time Time No Time Time All the time All time No Time
All the time I just [Rhyme?] Out my Mind

I ask myself "Why"
I have to know "Why?"
I must find out "Why?"
I go on [asking?] "Why do I try? Why do I cry? Is this [?] why?
Why don't I die? Why do I wish to die? Why can't I die? Why don't I know why
I do what I feel is right. I try to stay in the light, but so dark at Night.
Sometimes I lose my sight, Refuse to lose my fight Continue my fight
I must fight, So I fight Why do I fight?
I don't know but I go but my flow

Fading Find my Fading begin I am Fading Fading Fading Fading I am Slowly Fade as
I must go on I must go I must go on Have to keep going forward
[Healthily?] healthy heading toward the future Future I hope to see you there
I don't I don't I don't no I don't think so I'm so sorry
Please don't please don't please don't worry Don't worry for me
For me For me I'll be where I'm supposed to be Please don't worry
Please just tell my story Tell the world for me Spread my story
Let it grow Let it grow Let it grow my story My story
I'm so I'm so I'm so sorry don't feel sorry for me
Let go Let go Let go of me already I tired of hurting
I'm not deserting Just tired of hurting I'm always always [hurting?]
Not being a pussy I'm not a pussy I'm no pussy I just want some [peace?]
Can I Can I Can I please have some mercy
I'm tired I'm tired I'm tired

[Heavy show-through from the next page below; not transcribed.]

---

Page 171 — THAT House / The 4th Free

[Blue ink at top, then black ink. One line crossed out. Small insertions written above several lines.]

THAT House
~~Walking out around the Block~~
Take out walk around the Block somethin

The 4th Free
Kick-kick-kick-kicking it wit da vader
My dick sucker [inserted: meat]
Not going down frozen lake last time I was here spitting [?] 'bout me
Love not [frozen?] been [?] in [?] I can tell you can tell in your eyes [inserted: Chosen] [?] as hell
Not when this [?] bitch I'm here to say [?] Spray shit
More not this time I'm prime to get it in Strange he has moving nose bleed
At I [?] upside down in the Seven Eleven on the [?] claims [?] keeping [inserted: [?] ]
Sent [?] of [?] here was his bathtub, knockin' over [?] within [?] someone
Where the fuck is wrong with this [?] head hear what he [?] thing
He's [?] his [?] so assine smoking black of this Black [?] [inserted: is this this]
Day 1 white Dude be [?] he want to get [?] she knows what [?] [inserted: to do]
But he do what he supposed to do make no poo where he get his loot
But now is he on some she gonna [?] she get [?] would want to hit Save them [inserted: is the face the]
Oh yes Oh yes Oh yes he want to see her nude view where she poo
Shh Shh Oh yes Oh yes That's right where [?] but [?] knew what too [the times it felt like?]

[Lines run off the right edge in places.]

---

Page 172 — I need out this place, I'm stuck in this place

[Blue ink, full page.]

I need out this place, I'm stuck in this place
I'm an addict I'm broke at [?] I need to [have?] my [?] keep it
Let me have it Just let me have it Don't let me see it I'm [pleading?]
I just need to get high not sing to lie I'm [?] dry Baby get me high
I just need a [?] to get by it'll be alright I don't feel alright Sorry I'm that guy
I'm [?] my needs get high to get by no matter how hard I try feel that I'm the
My emotions feel fried let I don't freeze inside I can't hide these thoughts of suicide
Sorry if you feel like I lied, I'm sorry I'm that guy, Don't want to be that guy
But I am that guy, was gonna lie, not gonna try, need to get high, to get by, [?] the
Sometimes Sometimes Sometimes just Sometimes Sometimes Sometimes just Sometimes just
Just Sometimes Sometimes Sometimes I just want to Sometimes Sometimes I just want Sometimes
Sometimes Sometimes Sometimes I just Sometimes just Sometimes I want to die
So I get high So I don't want to die So I don't want to cry
I don't even try to try to understand why I feel the way I do [?]
I don't want to run I don't want to hide I know I [?] but I don't try
I don't even try to lie and say I'm fine with what's in my mind
I don't even try I don't lie, I don't know why, with every day that goes by
I'm surprised to be alive If you call this a life I think [we?] [?]
I'm not going to lie I need to be high, to get by, I don't even try
I don't know why I feel how I feel inside my emotions have fried
Sometimes Sometimes Sometimes I just want to die
So [?] time that I Somehow Someway on Someday Someday
Sometime I will die Sometime Sometime
I know the Sometime I know it'll [?] inside no matter what is to be
That at some point Someday Sometime I will die from Suicide
I know I said I wouldn't but I lied I'm sorry I made you all cry
I know you cried so hard before you ever cried that I cried and [?] know[?] as
How hard you've cried before then cried before I too that needed [?]
I cried I cried from me telling you in the future that you cried
Because I had died from Suicide

---

Page 173 — Famous

[Blue ink. A title at the top right reads "State of the Block" — apparently a header for the page/following pages. Many insertions and cross-outs.]

Famous
Bi-zarr-o Bizarre I'm Bizarro Bizarre
O-zarr-o Famous now famous way [Traphouse!]
Lets lets take a ride — On the Dark side — Out this world for my boys it would be
In my mind of the fourth kind Bizarro goes hard on that [B.T.?] grind
Run Run Run nowhere to hide, [crossed-out words] Doctor [died?], Fun Fun Fun for the monster Hyde
[?] wrapped out, Hear the gat [?] How it goes down, Here it goes down, The [Traphouse?]
Blow her back out, Lay a [?] out, Scream and shout, Not seeking out
[Beep?]-Build Tic, [Psychotic?], Schizophrenic put on [?] the clinic
D.I.D Split [?] in it Beats won [?] than skin it
Don't no Don't step up to the plate
Later up take a swing at your fate
Get up Get you some [?] in [?] base
Don't waste my time Cannibal taste your face
[Your face?] [?] me [?] common place [?]
At the waist

INfamous Notorious

I don't care about famous status

---

Page 174 — [The Clone of two dead souls — crossed out] / Ghost

[Blue ink, top of page only; the rest of the page is show-through. Crossed-out title at top; other header words as noted.]

[Header, left:] [?] Ghost
[Header, crossed out:] The Clone of two dead souls
[Header:] [See?] I [?] my Soul / Clones

[?] so [ice cold?] been this way since 5 years ago
Why? 5 years ago years when I lost my [OG son?]
I I I [?] my soul By By By going back I made a clone
I-I-I [?] my soul By-By-By going back I made a clone
I-I Clone[?] my Soul I-I cloned my soul
I-I-I [?] my soul

---

Page 175 — I have something to tell so listen well I was in Hell

[Blue ink. Only the top two lines are written on this page; the rest is faint show-through from other pages, not transcribed. A faint title at the top may read "Face It".]

I have something to tell so listen well I was in Hell
I have feelings rushing like bells

---

Page 176 — Damnation

[Blue ink. A short crossed-out section at the top, then the piece "Damnation".]

[Crossed out, partly legible:]
From [?] [?]
To [?] close one
Want to play and compare [?] some some grown ass Wizards
You a slim broke [?] it [?] while [?] stuff stuff of healthcare
But a while [?] out

Damnation
I am who I am as a man that knows what I want with a plan
Know what I must do I know that I can God help [any?] man
Who in my way stand cause I sure won't give a damn
I won't won't hesitate to set a date where he met his fate Premeditate
My destiny and on a strict schedule Refuse to be a minute late no debate
How I operate don't even have to hate my [?] every created [?] state
[?] back house and hands no [?] even fool them to celebrate
[Other?] [?] then head from shoulders separate
I know what to do I don't care who Try to step to
To Damnation with you To Damnation with you Damn you
I know what to do I know [crossed-out word] know [?] to Damnation with you
I know what to do I know what to I know I move I show
I know what to do But I also don't have an issue
I do have a issue with you [?] if the issue is you
To resolve the issue to eliminate the issue even if the issue is you my dude
Then off to Damnation with you off to Damnation with you my dude
Off to Damn— off to the Damn— Said it's off to Damnation
I said it's off to Damnation my [?] not trying to be rude
But come 'tween my bread and I 'tween my food then my dude
It's over with you off to Damnation [with?] you Damn you
Damn you to Damn any of you matter of fact all of you
Can [?] after to Damn you all to Damnation with you

---

Page 177 — Fuck It / King in Black

[Blue ink, full page. Two pieces on the page.]

### Fuck It

Fuck It

I have more [?] from me and I meant [?] where I said it
When I got home [?] tree up [?] cut [?] rest way here on I read it
I remember I what I said before told to [?] my credit
But with a peace offering [?] shit on it and Shred it
And I thought about Soul [?] I will go to heaven
I [?] rather my demons that wanted attack and I left
Then realize I [?] I'm going to end up killing myself for the sake of people
And who live such a fucked up life and never got the love
I wanted back and die for people and not enjoy the wealth, I'm
Going to accumulate and give to my brothers then fuck it I'm
Going to [?] this fat sweaty closeted nerd, a huge [brother?] of
The Dark Arts who's truly the Darkest One of all. Fuck it
[The one who own the sun?]

### King in Black

[At dark?] King in Black Never [?]
I wield the all-Black the the necrosword
[?] is back [?] cracked that's [?] I use a
Grabbed [?] by [?] sorry he [?] driving the [?] reborn talked again
You don't scare me [?] one two times [?] me why would it give
I fuck what you may say I know you know that I know you're a hoe
You don't know who I be Devil seed Demon King Age of Darkness I bring
To your grave you will be sent my control can never relent
Demon mode flow I go you will know At all times not periodic eternally in my element

[Show-through below; not transcribed.]

---

Page 178 — Shit talking

[Red ink for the first 2–3 lines at the top, then black/blue ink for the rest. Red scribbles in the left margin.]

[Red ink:]
Finally. Finally, Took a little time but had to catch up and to [?] Finally Finally
[?] out some [?] but finally finally I've [?] truly [?] than

Shit talking

DJ Slim C [?] who the fuck is this guy who really I think he has secret
He concealing, Mother of fact won't share his name trying to maintain his
"Fun" [?] a [?] I don't give 2 shits what he claims.
DJ Silence? Fuck it lets break down the name DJ I'm gonna guess Derek Junior
Or Dawn if he really is black No iron. Slim C. Slimp think you're slick
Run that by real quick wait I'm guessing only Slim is true C because
A needle thin dick. Could also mean [?] on some [?] flowers
To the Dark 1. Not gonna lie that part in [theory?] me giggle because
I know it's for the darks arts which I got more on that not [?]
But made me think more [?] names wizard spells but off from the
Lights off Nothing bad but you'd blend in well where you are hard to tell
Y'all able to see nothing black room but even more some of blackness
As somehow blacker than the blackness and ding there There Dark!
Just a theory here's another reason don't see him lying and Slim
[?] bashing on [?] and nerds but wanted to talk some nerd
To a nerd it heard a word from a bird liquid turd DJ is a nerd
Seemed a casual understanding of Dragon Ball Super check
A fascination of Dark Wizards and magic stuff Super check
Combined with the rest I bet with the way of [?] shots and
Sending guys you're a chunky nerd dungeons dragon
The one raising the book while you're [?] while [?] [?]
And some one said some slick shit to somebody but while
Looking at the sweaty funky cheeseball some one not thing
Gave up and said him the Dark One being the only black
Kid in the group and you ran with it, not gonna lie
This felt weird but I think I'm right

---

Page 179 — I'm told I'm a survivor that I am a warrior

[Blue ink.]

I'm told I'm a survivor that I am a warrior
I don't feel that I am
Every moment that passes, I feel more of me passes
I am [?] I am breaking apart
Careful now that shard is really sharp
Mutual
I need to get out My belief in reality has come in to doubt
I just want to scream and shout Fucking just blow my brains out
The world would just spin about most know nothing about
Nothing of my death it didn't even know that I was alive
A life not even known was alive was that life ever alive?
Is anything real any more? Was it ever?
If I were to just randomly die would everything turn off?
Why would a man want to dedicate himself helping a whole planet full
Of people that don't want him around? How [mutual?]
The feeling is mutual. Real fucking mutual

---

Page 180 — Came To

[Title in red ink, heavily reworked — large C and T with "AME TO" written through/under them; read as "Came To". Body in black ink, top of page only.]

Let it go let it flow let the poe shred at you bro
Must've forgot the monster I got inside with a broken lock
Taking still shots from you calling me a bitch got me starting to itch
Jekyll [?] the switch to my dark side let out Hyde you can't hide
[?] mighty genocide It's getting dim inside

---

Page 181 — Awaken

[Black ink. Two sections on the page; lines in both run off the right edge.]

Awaken
I have traveled through the ashes
Then I would [?] friends easy to keep
Formed bonds that had felt to be deep
Now I only have wounds open as I weep
To keep any else [?] to go upon so steep
Now that life feels as a distant dream
How bad I just want to [?] scream
How different everything now does seem
How do I feel so cold yet feel the steam
Am I rapidly coming apart at the seams
My hands are stained yet I'm washing away in the stream
I love God I believe in Jesus but feels [?] on the other team
Is this the case or just another plot to the Devil's scheme
Why is it the closer to the edge I careen
To I find myself feeling more serene

I am trapped in the abyss lost amidst the shadowy mist
Serpents surrounding all sides listen as they hiss whispering of Death [?]
Servants
Here we go again and again Here we go Hear me flow
Fear it be Poe [inserted: No, body knows]

---

Page 182 — I'm starting a new series

[First three lines in red ink, then one line in black ink. The rest of the page is show-through, not transcribed.]

[Red ink:]
I'm starting a new series.
A collection containing scenarios that I J.C Henley
Challenge you the reader to attempt to utilize that

[Black ink:]
Don't give up hope

---

Page 183 — Go In

[Black ink, top of page only. Faint reversed writing at the top is show-through from the "Code Red" page, not transcribed.]

Go In

[?] I go in Then I go in Just go in like a gust blowin Busta blowin
Cold as a [?] in Ice old frozen [?] of the chosen Just a [?] way I get to the win [?] all [?]

---

Page 184 — Code Red

[Red ink. Header at top: "P.P. [crossed-out word] ESFUPL #1", with a long underscore stroke to the right.]

Code Red

This my first ESFUPL [?] tag. This is like a PSA
You might receive regarding the immediate danger threat level
To your personal physical safety. If not following the careful guidelines
I lay out before and chose to ignore what I have established and
I deem that you have violated I'm telling at least one person is
Going to be hurt. That's not a joke. Not a threat.

---

Page 185 — See it in my art it's tearing me apart

[Black ink, full page. Faint reversed text at the very top is show-through from the "Dragon Bar Z" page, not transcribed.]

See it in my art It's tearing me apart
Tearing me apart breaking my heart
Been going on and on from the start
Tearing me apart from the start
See it in my art breaking my heart
Since the very start been tearing me apart
Been going on and on Carry on go on Can't [?] can't go on

They don't like this when I say this well I can't stand this
Can't stand the way I feel it's same everyday this shit
I don't like it take it I can't take it take my heart stake it
So nobody else can break it I can't shake it Just take it
Away I hate it traits in [?] can't be overstated Just take it
No matter how it is Painted the love has been tainted
Wake up at the nearest poke center after I had fainted
Why do I still care about you you a bad shit ain't shit no you ain't shit
I feel so ancient ancient I just want to [?] my [?] shit
Can't contain it restrain it breaking me in two you on your [?] suit
Need to take this [?] shit and [?] it with a lane switch [?] my pain, bitch
Type it have someone to take [?] ship it to your place bitch I can't take it
I can't take it I can't shake it Not gonna make it Someone [inserted: take it] [?] my heart someone
Someone please stake it this feeling I can't mistake I can't take it I hate it
Can't be overstated how I stake it Just stake it Tired of people who break it [?]
And break it Just take it Stake it I'm not gonna make it can't shake it why the [?]
Just break it I'm not gonna make it can't shake it Just take it Stake it I can't Take it

---

Page 186 — Dragon Bar Z

[Blue ink, top of page only; the rest is show-through, not transcribed. An insertion is written above the first line.]

Dragon Bar Z

I live on Earth, However [inserted: earth not] was born my place of birth
Raised as a martial bar artist ready to display my bars worth
Collect all 7 of the Dragon Bar Z make a wish for my Dragon [?] part of [girth?]

---

Page 187 — [Untitled prose — "Given physical form in the flesh"]

[Blue ink, full page, prose written as continuous lines. No title on the page. Transcribed line by line as written; lines run to the right edge.]

[Given?] physical form in the flesh that wants your [soul?]
To eat your child when [?] to fuck your bitch. And one more thing
Fuck your too. Oh I [?] together to mention heavy Sarcasm
As a theme So all of this while works of imagination
And fabrications the people I have named as characters I write about
Or claimed as the workers are very important to me because
They are real characters like Lil Blu, Lil Goose, Blue eye Ghost D. Rose [margin words: Ditch / Broke / Feet?]
A. Rose and others like them are in fact based off very real people in my life
Women that I know who have impacted my life in many ways and
I still care greatly about them. Characters that [?] often even
As the credited author or poems such as J.C Henley, Jonny C, King Jon, Dirty Lizard
Yung Case Da Goose King, [?] B. [?], Mr. Blu, Yesse Yelneh and Bizarro and
Lucian The Prince of Pain are all also me, in a sense. All 9 of them are me.
Each one is an aspect of my personality that is hyper focused on that aspect and
The emotional spectrum tied to each aspect forming that character
Basically clones from my personality even if some aspects may not
Seem present within me at initial meeting especially the
More darker ones but I promise they're all real all 9 are a real version
Of me almost like a multiverse [?] at me and when all
9 come together you get the 10th me, Casey full name being
Jonathan Casey Henley but friends and family call me Casey.
In this series I will describe each one and how I view them
And which of my traits they are the embodiment of to give
An in depth breakdown on what I like to call the group
The [?] The Nine Members of the Council of Casey and the
Reason for its existence and purpose formed and the way it functions
In turn creates all the content you have been reading and will
Be cranking out till I die, It managed to achieve the tasks I set
For myself then the release of content will not stop when I die
And continue providing more content long after I pass send from
The after life. All I'm going to say about that for now wait
Till then and you'll see if I succeeded or not. The master plan has been
Set into motion already lets see how it goes. Definitely will be special

---

Page 188 — Who is series

[Blue ink, full page, prose. Title at top: "Who is series". Lines run off the right edge in places.]

Who is series

In this series I'll be describing who is all these
Seemingly random and odd names you see pop up time
And time again within my writing. I'll describe who they
Are to me being more than a catchphrase I like to use and more
Than a simple reoccurring fictional character of my creation.
The actions much more complex. While the events described and
Actions carried out in each said event are mostly all fictional and
Based in my own imagination and the often violent sometimes offensive
And graphic nature of the stories being told do not represent my actual
Views and beliefs unless on the few times I explicitly inform you it does
And the vast majority of these graphic tragic bizarre offensive natured
Tones and themes are just intended to viewed as entertainment
For open minded mature audiences who can separate the art from
The artist and enjoy the art as graphic as it may be as art
If you can do that you will be entertained with a wide range of
Genres of romance, heart-break, crazy obscene comedy, positive inspiring themes
Of perseverance to overcome adversity, deep thinking elaborations of intellectual
Ideals that may challenge the perceptions you may have just to think
Not to try and convince and preach but merely entertain the possibility
And imaginations others of passion, conflicts, Peacocking, hopelessness
Cruelty and even of hatred, religion, spirituality Fate, Pain, immorality
Monsters both of supernatural and monsterous nature of Man etc the
List goes on and on constantly growing. If you're able to undertake
That thy while sprinkled with nuggets of truth here and there
Is only for entertainment you'll be entertained for days on end
Especially the more I provide it and you may become a loyal
Awesome fan some even claim to love me and well I love me too
And happy I was able to invoke that level of emotion but how [?] that
If you're unable to separate art and artist close minded easily
Offended with delicate [feelings?] that cannot tolerate such intense
[Inserted: feelings] imaginary stories and concepts thinking I'm a blood thirsty soul seekin'
Demon or sadistic puppet doing devils work trying to entrap and brainwash
People etc etc Then I guess to you who fall in that category all I can say
Yes, Yes I am the evil Anti Christ, I am the devil, I am the evil of the world

---

Page 189 — [Word list — "Click, tick, stick…"]

[Black ink, top of page only; the rest is show-through, not transcribed. A faint title at the top may read "Of What I [?]" — show-through, not counted as content.]

Click, tick, tick, stick, Trick, Slick, Kick, Quick, [dick?],
Sick, lick, big, clever, hatch, Tic, brick, Mick, Flick, Rick
Pick, Prick, thick truck strict [?] sic Pic

Tip, trap, Clip, quip, equip, lip, Slip, Strip, rip, drip, Crip is hip Crypto dip, trip
hip S hip, Nip,

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Eighth batch — sent Thursday, October 22, 2026

Jennie sent nine more pages, this time loose sheets rather than notebook pages — several stained, crumpled, or partly covered by marker. Transcribed the same day, in the order sent. Bracketed words mark readings that could not be confirmed from the handwriting; [—] marks spots hidden by stains or marker. These are the most damaged pages so far. The batch holds ten pieces: "Who Kills [Me?]", "My Darkside Freestyle" and "Death Wish" (one page), "Cool Kids on the Block", "Come Get Me", "Courage", an untitled piece ("My pen has ascended so high in the sky"), "Geek Bars", an untitled piece ("We smoking on that gas..."), and "Roses".

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Page 1 — Who Kills [Me?]

*[Black ink on crumpled loose-leaf. The last word of the title is partly covered by a purple stain. Large dark stains down the right side obscure the ends of many lines in the lower half. A small doodle is in the left margin. Faint reversed writing showing through from another page is not transcribed.]*

Who Kills [Me?]

I just want to know need to know [—]
What about me is so Why am I so so..
So unloveable so untouchable so unwantable
Why do people say be yourself be unique
That it's ok to be yourself like a freak
But [they?] judge me whenever I decide to speak
To look past me without so much as a peek
To judge me hate me label me are cruel
Every one says they don't want normal but real
To call me everything they can but then [weed?]
Says I scare them so I'm thrown out to keep
The peace that the piece of shit and sweet
Everything they say [—] blame me
If I am such a threat than why start with me
Doesn't make a bit of sense to me explain to me
How the hypocrisy is to make any damn sense to me
Help me see the why that you see what to [—] not see
Why does the problem lie with me always problem is me
I don't understand you all can say and do you [burnt?] me
Especially Objectively you all don't understand me and stone me
But you can harass me try your best to depress me what [weapon?] to me
Tell me how I'm such a loser just a user fully [—] to bully me
But when I defend me fire back then the Offender the bully is Me
The problem is me it's always me so scared of me when I [—]
Honestly I only show honesty always honest I be but [—] true
Go ahead try to debunk me prove to me where [—]
Show me the incidents were caused by me not retali[—]
Tell me how much you wanted me then act like bein[—]
Makes no sense to me it's a wonder to me that any of [—] people
Same as me none of you anywhere the same as me
Claim to be scared of me when is actually only one who should be
Scared of me is none of you [ladies?] only you should fear me
The only one I'm scared of is me I'm the one who [—]
I swear another ten years the this I will be the one wh[—]

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Page 2 — My Darkside Freestyle / Death Wish

*[Black ink on crumpled loose-leaf; two pieces on one page. Dark ink stains down the left side obscure the starts of several lines in the second piece. Faint show-through from other pages is not transcribed.]*

### My Darkside Freestyle

In Me I run can't hide the Dark Side of My mind inside
My head collide like high tide Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde can't he
Confide damn died it lied it's inside oh no Oh my look in my eye
You decide

Its coming for my soul to control me in my whole
Need some one to Console me in this hole one to hold help me
Fight the cold it's getting Old being told let it go Dads goal
For my soul is taking its toll I'm on a roll losing control of my soul
I'm told it's already sold
I try to fight I'm losing sight of the light gets dark at Night
Hear the bark feel its bite I'm not right full of fright Despite delight
Full from [sieena?] height straw wings of white taking Flight [bite?] this flight
Flashes of bright light in my sight listen with your ear do not fear
I am here like I'm All Might It'll be alright as I fall tonight
Still I fight with all might to my grizzly end strong as grizzly
At the end of the ride just know I tried To resist
[—] Dark Side

### Death Wish

In my Mind I'm computing these bars
Flying by I see a Shooting Star fly past mars
Quick gotta [stop?] me Make-a-Wish
Like Cosmo and Wanda be the names of my pet fish
[—] seems to make me so I took in twos and a dish
[—] every rude dude and every fake bish
[—] remind me to be one you start with
[—] You'll see darkness in my heart it's Sith
[—] deals straight Savage in your blood I [lavish?]
To start shit with me obviously you have a death wish
I don't try to initiate shit to be honest
But I don't tolerate to any and all hate and I don't miss
Those days I avoid drama my old ways I abolish
So if I'm in crosshairs won't hesitate to go demolish
If you start with me its obvious you [—]

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Page 3 — Cool Kids on the Block

*[Red ink on crumpled loose-leaf. Marker/highlighter scribbles down the left side obscure the starts of several lines; two lines are almost completely covered. One line is written in above the "Flexin on Rb" line and joined to it by a long curved stroke.]*

Cool Kids on the Block

Oh no not the cool kids on the Block
They're gonna try acting like they fuckin Rock
Aware they wanna try acting out cause thats love sucking cock
I wonder if this is youre crowning achievement in life
[—] you have any dreams for this as far as you plan on going one source[?]
[—]nner
[—] cool guys so cool I've never actually heard anyone here [baller?]
[—]ver
[—] guys can rhyme dope almost anybody can string together a few
Lines at a time for a loser to climb's not that hard
But how many of you have been known anywhere else? Never had any of
These fools belong in my back yard with the dog shit in my book [tart?]
*[written in above, joined by a curved line:]* a little depressive is there anyone ever
Flexin on Rb is not that impressive
To get Signed or any attention from RB bz I have to constantly explain what it's
Nobody ever heard of it. I stumbled upon it myself to honest
I love it here don't get me wrong but it's not like it's not the major
likely place someone of any importance will see your song
If you think so my friend take another rip off the bong
I can tell you smoking time jus ain't be Super Strong
Either that or smoke yourself Stupid all your braincells are done
So is the punch behind your lines why so weak acting like all [brawn?]
You guys are so lame no name in the real game don't care what your claim
If you were so flame had fame as you be saying then why be playing with
the rhymes I'm laying
Say I'm crazy on the spectrum while you loose rectums need to [—]
Your conclusions and inspection if you think you're wreckin it
Show me some proof like a check then or when I should be inspecting
a reckoning of the arrival of your next garbage when had you then fe[—]
When can I see you do an LA Leakers freestyle Funk Flex?
About as impressive to your bitch bitch I'm about punk sex

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Page 4 — Come Get Me

*[Black ink on crumpled loose-leaf. A sheet headed "Roses" lies across the top of the photo, covering the top of this page. The page has a main left column, a right-hand column heavily crossed over with marker and highlighter, and a short section at the bottom right. A red "B" is written at the top right corner, and short red words ("the", "noble[?]") are jotted in the right margin. In the right column, "you" is written in small above one line. In the left column, small words "want to be" are written above one line.]*

### [Left column]

Come get me

I walk my path
There's something going on around the Block
See the Shadows are moving
I don't think as people get me
Get how I see get how I've
Bet they don't go forget me
They [—] leave Frame
For my [Goth?] well brings
Come get me Come get me Come get me
When the say ok [—] no more for her
Then I say I got a stack more in store
Say my Name Say hey aye
Say my Name
Lil Shadie Aka Walter White
You're God damn Right
Oh look another old [—] approaches
Throw hook it better [—] at [—]

### [Right column]

If you want it
then you come get it
But once you got it
Don't you forget it
To be your skull split it
[—] it [—] it
[—] my forget it
Why it wait it
Pants get in it
Glutted[?]
Come and get it
I'll leave with the fiftee[n?]

### [Bottom right]

You can tell by looking at my face
Lately been rough not taking a bath [—]
On my head and [—] doing the [—]
Trying to find the [—] the puzzle

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Page 5 — Courage

*[Red ink on loose-leaf. The first words of two lines in the middle section are painted over with red marker strokes. Faint show-through below the writing is not transcribed. At the right edge of the photo, a sliver of the neighboring sheet (a neighboring loose sheet) is visible; its words are not part of this page.]*

Courage

You might look at me and try to say " when I was younger
Save it I [—] the road you [—] now my own I [—] it
And whether you admit it when my pen [—] it [—] and won't it
Shit [—] takes Courage I lay it bare [—] it felt none get spared
Every day I struggle with my demons [—] I ain't scared I [—]
[—] really every moment I'm in fear I just

[—] have these monsters that don't live under my bed
[—] voices come from inside of my own damn head
There's no choices for me to nice when I start to scared
Through the darkness I am taken to and led
I have died from suicide and [Brave?] I have heard said

To write about my [—] and seen with my sight
You might just think yeah right I [—] down last night
But

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Page 6 — My pen has ascended so high in the sky

*[Black ink on loose-leaf; untitled. A five-line section across the top (one line begins with a star mark; one line has overwritten/crossed-out words; one word is inserted above another line), then two columns below — left column transcribed first, then right. The edge of the "Roses" sheet shows at the top left of the photo. Small red marks on the page are stains, not writing.]*

### [Top section]

My pen has ascended so high in the sky [—] all your [—]
I'm out of view [—] I look down see everything Bird eye in my sight
I'm past the clouds mortals are not allowed [it's — inserted] my birthright
I orbit the heavens a savage Satellite about that battle site why death [—]
Because I [pool?] the [—] so deep Yung Case ya man goes Thanos [twk?] when I snap I'm fucking all [—]

### [Left column]

I had dreams has[?] that I ate myself
Feet so much pain that I eat myself
Filled up with so much of this Sorrow
Still somehow I just feel hollow
Heading into the light but [—]
I have no time but [—] to borrow
I don't know if I'll wake up tomorrow
Off to the darkness watch see me go
Offer up the One Call me Neo

### [Right column]

Moving on I'm moving on
Till its all gone Its all gone
Still going strong I move along
For how long can I keep ongoing
After all my heart I'm showing
When I tell [—] my blood first flows
I can't hang on my heart beat slows
Can't stay strong I can't go on
All is gone now I'm moving on
I'll be gone before the Dawn
Please be strong when I'm gone
Just move along I'm moving on
What's going on where here I'm gone
I'm gone Done moved on
So long I said so long
Its gone Its all gone
I'll be gone Before the Dawn
Done moved on I'm Moving on

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Page 7 — Geek Bars

*[Title in black ink at the top. Body mostly black ink; the first four lines and a four-line section further down are in red ink (marked below). A red circled mark is at the top left margin.]*

Geek Bars

*[red ink]*
I really don't give a fuck if you don't feel me if I'm [—]
Ideally won't give a fuck if you can't reveal me I'm a [—] Viking
I'm really just trying to keep it a buck I'm just the real me a monster I'm a Lycan
I will be [—] Fighting for your back I'll Fucking [—] on striking

*[black ink]*
I don't play I'm a fighter man said go for it cock back shoot
I'll dodge all day bitch I'm Spiderman head to toe can't ignore the black shit
I am [—] on my slick shit [—] mouth Slider I'm a problem
A true rider I'm a glider hunting for the Spider I'm the Goblin

You don't want too test me in person or it in rhyme
When I click my pen connects to my [Vic?] like the grip It's Morphin Time

I wouldn't sleep on me as if I just any ass fool
I am the League of Shadows I'm Ras al Ghul
I can't even wait for the smoke don't[?] me I'm the eliminator
I won't hesitate to Choke out my [dinner?] hater
As If I'm the Sithlord Darth Vader

You take shots at one of my own and think I wouldn't slide
You fool everyone knows revenge is a path[?] of the Dark Side

If this world is a simulation illusion you can shake this trance cant break this
But I am not like you I am Neo the One Glitch in the Matrix

*[red ink]*
I can do whatever I put my mind to as long I believe it true
If this was some kinda movie I'd be played by [—] Keanne
Because fuck wit my dog kill you [—] slick [—] wrist flick
With or with no black hands on a stick [—] I got tick[—] [—]

*[black ink]*
I don't like disrespect I get flustered[?] jumbled speak arrogantly to me
You will get humbled make you start stumbling fumbling
The dam[?] holding back my rage will start crumbling
When that happens call me Ben for five Strike [—]

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Page 8 — We smoking on that gas you start to show your ass

*[Untitled. Black ink lines, then three lines in red ink. A sheet headed "Roses" lies across the top of the photo; two red lines from that sheet are visible above this page and are not part of it. The lower two-thirds of the page is covered with heavy mirrored show-through from another page, which is not transcribed.]*

We smoking on that gas you start to show your ass
Cut you off fast If you try rush [—] out my [—] Bro you should not pass
Try put your pen against mine it'll get shred and tore
I got a straight bull up in my pen you [—] manor
Mine is such a beast straight up lyrical Predator