“I just want to be remembered when I’m gone… someone heard my story, learned of my fight, felt the need to pass it on.”

— Casey, from his poem “Gone”

Pray

Dear Lord, our Heavenly Father,
To you this day I pray, in a bit unorthodox way,
In form of my rhymes, in the lines I lay,
Written out to you so I can say,
Thank you for this beautiful life I live today,
I wouldn’t change a thing, I wouldn’t want
It any other way.
Thank you for the good, thank you for the bad,
It’s both that makes this life beautiful that I’ve had.
It’s been a beautiful journey for me,
I [wish] that I feel my faith returning, the [light] to see,
I only ask you today for the strength to help those around me,
For that’s the mission laid out before me,
To help others to heal, in the name of your glory.
I know I’m not perfect, never been a saint,
I have sinned, sins that I can feel are pains,
But I know better than give up faith,
Because I love you, and Jesus — I’ll be forgiven,
Which I’m grateful for, [—] you have gave.
I trust the path for me you have paved,
On my grand mission to lost souls that need to be saved,
I’ll continue on until the grave,
On to the next life, to the next wave.
You know I’ll be yours, so too man,
Even if you’re asking for another sacrificial lamb,
At a moment’s notice give me the sign, stick to the plan.
I just hope you can help my mother and brothers understand,
That’s all I ask for — strength to use my hands
To execute your great plan, and
Time to get my loved ones to understand.
Thank you, Big Man — to you I do pray.
Amen.

Day

Today is a beautiful day, [a shining] day — I love the way sun lights the sky, [—] today
Love the way I feel today, I feel real today — can’t conceal the way I actually feel alive today
I saw myself smile today in a way I haven’t seen in a while, made me pause and say
I think I actually might feel happy today — that doesn’t happen every day, been [—] this way
Been so long I felt this way, too many days be in a daze, a foggy haze cast, I get [—] made
That train has made one day easy to fade away in the pain I gain from many days [—]
So many days I don’t feel this way, don’t feel OK — but not today, this day is better [to me]
I do say in an honest way I feel happy today, the way I feel makes [—]
Because I feel alive today, feel like staying alive today, and hold my [—] over [—]
I will be OK, I say that in a real way today, feel I will make it through every day
That I don’t feel OK — [days] like today are the days that say to me even dark days [—]
To move through, have a way to survive that bad day, just [—] the way [every] day [—]
The way the sun shines today reminds me I’m alive today, I’ll survive today, I will [—]
To find a way to grind away till one day there comes a day the world [knows] my name
Preach my name — the same people who tried to shame my name will teach my name
Till the very end of days hear me say that will be true one day — 1-2-1 [—]
Today is a beautiful day, a shining day — I love the way the sun lights the sky [—] today
Today is a day I feel a beautiful way — I feel like Casey is alive today, I may [—] today
Today is a beautiful day to be alive today
Today is a beautiful Day

It’s a very difficult time when you’re really struggling and all you want is someone to talk to. But don’t want to feel like a burden. So you just sit there, lost in your head, trying to hold it together.

— Suicide Prevention Foundation